the S.P.L.I.T. system

Split · 11-14-2013, 09:53 PM

post your username acronym poon slaying system ITT

SEPARATE
after picking a target, isolate her from the pack. use whatever means necessary. this includes asking her to help you find your phone which you dropped next to the fridge, engaging her in light-hearted religious debate, force-feeding her blunts, swapping her friend's beverage with a glass of antifreeze, or even using your miniscule thumbs to hand-spin a medical-grade spidersilk steel booby trap.

PACIFY
using lies and deception, convince her you are genuinely interested in her two dimensional personality that almost entirely consists of stories that her more interesting friends told her about, once. laugh when she pauses to catch breath from spewing bullshit about shenanigans at her dead end job at the campus bookstore

LIST ACCOMPS
Tell her how many times you champed the NBL. Show her the HOF tattoo you preemptively got on your left asscheek. Tell her you can read braille and her breasts read "A". Tell her you can't read braille but champing the Table Ladder Chair Keystyle 2003 felt like bags of sand without leading into a lengthy discussion of Steve Carrell's drama roles

INSEMINATE

TERMINATE

After failing miserably, getting tagged out tying to steal second base, and subsequently purchasing fourteen minutes of whatever-goes-no-ass-stuff with Dominique-make sure that you dump her lifeless body in a lonely and unfrequented location.. such as the Premium Member lounge for Karaoke's Madison, WI Eddie Bauer Sponsored Hemming Studio or anything with a USPS logo on it.

NYCSPITZ · 11-14-2013, 10:03 PM

Never tell her too much about yourslef

You're the man, never act like you possess a vagina

Call her out on bullshit and tease her

Spit many topics at her when creating rapport, she will eventually find something interesting and talk about it a lot

Push every interaction towards sex

It's a man's world nigga, don't choke

Take her to your crib or suggest her place if you sleep on a couch/rent a small room

Zinfandel.

Fart · 11-14-2013, 10:14 PM

lol
are you just now catching up on Always Sunny or something?

Ghost1 · 11-14-2013, 10:18 PM

Break her
if she is not already in the lowest point of her life. make it so. treat her like shit. push her to the edge. let her kno u are doing her a favor by entertaining the thought of even being near her dusted ole ratchet punani. hit her if she gets all uppity. at any point if she exhibits a level or heir of confidence immediately put her back in her place, tell her shes fat ... tell her shes a bad mother, no kid? tell her she will be a bad mother when the time comes.

Afghanistan
This bitch should not even be able to show her face in public around you. a veil is not necessary, but surely u will not be stepping outside of my bedroom....unless its to go to the kitchen and make me some fucking buffalo bites. women have no rights, she should be treated as such. if she forgets herself at any time, hit her.

Gag order
bitch. if you tell any1 about us fuckin im tellin every1 how many abortions u had last year. who you fuck is no1 elses business...especially this trashy piece of shit. its bad enough your fucking her, god knows you barely are happy to hear the news.....ur friends and other girls u plan to fuck will be even less impressed. if this bitch runs off at the yapper? hit her.

success
you have no crafted the perfect skank. you can verbally and physically abuse her, ur not obligated in any way shape or form to be seen with her in public, no1 will know about it... and you get to hit her an shit when the sex gets boring.

I enjoyed this, thank you split.

Greed · 11-14-2013, 10:23 PM

The dennis system is already flawless.

Ghost1 · 11-14-2013, 10:24 PM

cut my cable off an watched every sunny on Netflix. fml. I need new episodes.

Split · 11-14-2013, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bags Payne

cut my cable off an watched every sunny on Netflix. fml. I need new episodes.

http://stream-tv.me/watch-its-always...elphia-online/

watch Flowers for Charlie/. shit's off the hook

Fig · 11-14-2013, 10:38 PM

I wanted to do it my own way

Fig will always win, so don't even try

I am fig, and I will hang you like granny puss

Great god its fig, look at that bulge

KennyCerealBowl · 11-14-2013, 10:45 PM

K- Kill any feelings
Remember these are bitches and bitches will be bitches so don't get caught on any of that bitch ass shit.
E- Equality? Wtf is that
You backhand the bitch if she ever brings up some shit like that up.. Equality what the fuck is the world coming to. U see saudi arabia has the right idea. They know.. they know
N- Nose down ass up
The bitch is a bitch so you fuck her like a bitch no other way any eye contact during coitus might make her think shes worth shit.
N- Nope
Nope nope nope any request other than a quickie is nope no.
Y- Yahtzee!
You did it. You got yourself a 24/7 on schedule skank who will attend every request and not question your authority.

You gotta get them when they young though..

veritas · 11-14-2013, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bags Payne

cut my cable off an watched every sunny on Netflix. fml. I need new episodes.

Download xbmc you prawn.

Ghost1 · 11-14-2013, 10:51 PM

Will look into it......

veritas · 11-14-2013, 11:00 PM

Then the 1 channel repository. Thank me later douche.

Inno · 11-15-2013, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KennyCerealBowl

K- Kill any feelings
Remember these are bitches and bitches will be bitches so don't get caught on any of that bitch ass shit.
E- Equality? Wtf is that
You backhand the bitch if she ever brings up some shit like that up.. Equality what the fuck is the world coming to. U see saudi arabia has the right idea. They know.. they know
N- Nose down ass up
The bitch is a bitch so you fuck her like a bitch no other way any eye contact during coitus might make her think shes worth shit.
N- Nope
Nope nope nope any request other than a quickie is nope no.
Y- Yahtzee!
You did it. You got yourself a 24/7 on schedule skank who will attend every request and not question your authority.

You gotta get them when they young though..

your pimp hand is strong.

Meth · 11-15-2013, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KennyCerealBowl

You gotta get them when they young though..

@TYSON

Split · 11-15-2013, 01:38 AM

Bump

Ryan 12 · 11-15-2013, 02:43 AM

thread went to shit after first post

lmao @ this

TYSON · 11-15-2013, 04:03 AM

U mention me but seem to overlook the one who said it. Try again.

Rawn MD · 11-15-2013, 06:11 AM

Rough rugged and raw, fuck that protection sht... When does a man need protection from anything even in elementary school them pussies only wore helmets n I ain't no pussy or own a helmet, nor should my D.. Bitch wants u to strap tell her to go to work and get them ttubes tied... This will display power, lack of fear, and godly fertility, all very attractive towards the opposite sex

Abuse that slut every way possible, ass fuck her till she can't sht and nds to take laxatives... U then have killed two birds w one stone showed Ur dominance a nd controlled her weight, plus it'll show Ur mildly attentive towards her and her looks

Womanize the fuck out a the hoe.. She only cooks n cleans n fuck whenever u beckon however u want, No matter how degrading (worse the better)... Don't use her name no matter what, depersonalize as much as possible... She is simply now a fuck toy and an object

Negate anything she wants thinks or cares for... She is yours u own her and she has no value or opinion, n when she catches feelings... Next, onto the next one

Witty · 11-15-2013, 08:36 AM

Warn

Tell her she would be better of staying away from you...she will think of you as dark, mysterious and dangerous.

Intellect

Tell her some interesting facts about inuits perhaps

Trumpet

Play the trumpet at her face

Tease

Tell her she is a stupid bitch, and then laugh like that's just your sense of humour.

Y axis

Talk about bar charts. Bitches love the Cartesian coordinates system.

Frank Metts · 11-15-2013, 08:42 AM

S.P.L.I.T. Seperate Pussy Lips Insert Thrust ( then do what the acronym says and split )

11-14-2013, 09:53 PM	#1
Split . Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 8,898 Battle Record: 27-22 Rep Power: 85899399	the S.P.L.I.T. system post your username acronym poon slaying system ITT SEPARATE after picking a target, isolate her from the pack. use whatever means necessary. this includes asking her to help you find your phone which you dropped next to the fridge, engaging her in light-hearted religious debate, force-feeding her blunts, swapping her friend's beverage with a glass of antifreeze, or even using your miniscule thumbs to hand-spin a medical-grade spidersilk steel booby trap. PACIFY using lies and deception, convince her you are genuinely interested in her two dimensional personality that almost entirely consists of stories that her more interesting friends told her about, once. laugh when she pauses to catch breath from spewing bullshit about shenanigans at her dead end job at the campus bookstore LIST ACCOMPS Tell her how many times you champed the NBL. Show her the HOF tattoo you preemptively got on your left asscheek. Tell her you can read braille and her breasts read "A". Tell her you can't read braille but champing the Table Ladder Chair Keystyle 2003 felt like bags of sand without leading into a lengthy discussion of Steve Carrell's drama roles INSEMINATE TERMINATE After failing miserably, getting tagged out tying to steal second base, and subsequently purchasing fourteen minutes of whatever-goes-no-ass-stuff with Dominique-make sure that you dump her lifeless body in a lonely and unfrequented location.. such as the Premium Member lounge for Karaoke's Madison, WI Eddie Bauer Sponsored Hemming Studio or anything with a USPS logo on it. __________________ http://split8.yolasite.com

11-14-2013, 10:14 PM	#3
Fart You Next Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Seattle Posts: 6,348 Battle Record: 1-2 Rep Power: 7920846	lol are you just now catching up on Always Sunny or something? __________________ smokin spliffs til i dont exist

11-14-2013, 10:38 PM	#8
Fig Om Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 6,461 Battle Record: 8-16 Rep Power: 84181562	I wanted to do it my own way Fig will always win, so don't even try I am fig, and I will hang you like granny puss Great god its fig, look at that bulge __________________ BIRDHORSE 8-15

11-14-2013, 10:45 PM	#9
KennyCerealBowl Do what is right. Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 769 Rep Power: 954121	K- Kill any feelings Remember these are bitches and bitches will be bitches so don't get caught on any of that bitch ass shit. E- Equality? Wtf is that You backhand the bitch if she ever brings up some shit like that up.. Equality what the fuck is the world coming to. U see saudi arabia has the right idea. They know.. they know N- Nose down ass up The bitch is a bitch so you fuck her like a bitch no other way any eye contact during coitus might make her think shes worth shit. N- Nope Nope nope nope any request other than a quickie is nope no. Y- Yahtzee! You did it. You got yourself a 24/7 on schedule skank who will attend every request and not question your authority. You gotta get them when they young though.. __________________

11-15-2013, 01:38 AM	#15
Split . Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 8,898 Battle Record: 27-22 Rep Power: 85899399	Bump __________________ http://split8.yolasite.com

11-14-2013, 10:03 PM	#2
NYCSPITZ SYRACUSE Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,031 Battle Record: 31-37 Champed - Write Night II - Alias Topical Tournament Rep Power: 4743547	Never tell her too much about yourslef You're the man, never act like you possess a vagina Call her out on bullshit and tease her Spit many topics at her when creating rapport, she will eventually find something interesting and talk about it a lot Push every interaction towards sex It's a man's world nigga, don't choke Take her to your crib or suggest her place if you sleep on a couch/rent a small room Zinfandel.

11-14-2013, 10:23 PM	#5
Greed Raw Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 1,721 Battle Record: 21-40 Rep Power: 29975687	The dennis system is already flawless.

11-15-2013, 02:43 AM	#16
Ryan 12 Worst of the worst Join Date: Nov 2013 Posts: 1,014 Battle Record: 6-1 Rep Power: 7026	thread went to shit after first post lmao @ this

11-15-2013, 04:03 AM	#17
TYSON IN LOVE WITH A STRIPPER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,967 Battle Record: 10-15 Rep Power: 23089122	U mention me but seem to overlook the one who said it. Try again.

11-15-2013, 06:11 AM	#18
Rawn MD Get MacDon Join Date: Dec 1969 Posts: 2,168 Battle Record: 3-7 Accomplishments - OM HOF Rep Power: 0	Rough rugged and raw, fuck that protection sht... When does a man need protection from anything even in elementary school them pussies only wore helmets n I ain't no pussy or own a helmet, nor should my D.. Bitch wants u to strap tell her to go to work and get them ttubes tied... This will display power, lack of fear, and godly fertility, all very attractive towards the opposite sex Abuse that slut every way possible, ass fuck her till she can't sht and nds to take laxatives... U then have killed two birds w one stone showed Ur dominance a nd controlled her weight, plus it'll show Ur mildly attentive towards her and her looks Womanize the fuck out a the hoe.. She only cooks n cleans n fuck whenever u beckon however u want, No matter how degrading (worse the better)... Don't use her name no matter what, depersonalize as much as possible... She is simply now a fuck toy and an object Negate anything she wants thinks or cares for... She is yours u own her and she has no value or opinion, n when she catches feelings... Next, onto the next one __________________ FFC>FCC A. bove T. he R. est Last edited by Rawn MD; 11-15-2013 at 06:18 AM.

11-15-2013, 08:36 AM	#19
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,978 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 85235118	Warn Tell her she would be better of staying away from you...she will think of you as dark, mysterious and dangerous. Intellect Tell her some interesting facts about inuits perhaps Trumpet Play the trumpet at her face Tease Tell her she is a stupid bitch, and then laugh like that's just your sense of humour. Y axis Talk about bar charts. Bitches love the Cartesian coordinates system. __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

11-15-2013, 08:42 AM	#20
Frank Metts Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,621 Battle Record: 0-1 Rep Power: 2305789	S.P.L.I.T. Seperate Pussy Lips Insert Thrust ( then do what the acronym says and split )