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PROVEN BITER
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Wolverhampton
Posts: 1,588
Battle Record: 5-0
Champed - The Winter Topical
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Just trying to preserve this for my homie, don't think it exists online anymore and he doesnt have it archived. 1999ish:
Sordswinga: I just seen a teen commit a misdemeanor and key a 1.8 liter Kia Sephia parked in front of a meter while in the two seater sat two people, Rita the sleaker of the pair of cheaters and Peter was the one spilling is Fajita wrapped in a pita bread tortilla all over his wifebeater. Both were sneaky peepers, Peter would illegally peep at medieval people covered in fecal through peepholes squeezing his sleaker weiner and Rita would peep at Peter through a keyhole eagerly fingerfucking her peehole equally. I call them cheaters cause they had honeymoon rendezvous in laundry rooms. Peter had married Lisa Which was Rita's cousin and Rita used to be Gary Keifer's bitch but needs a husband. When Gary was asked to do shit he'd be the last to move it, she said the "bastards useless I'll kick his ass to prove it" then her and Peter boarded a vast of cruise ships and headed to Massachusetts gambling boat casinos playing beano try to cash in the blue chips spent five G's now there cash is two cents formerly known as Larry Leifer AKA Gary Keifer keeps his mask elusive and don't let that skank know your where abouts, Now hear him out in his own words version, Im just speaking from the perspective of third person. Nefarious: Yes, Rita needed the Kia Sephia to be keyed-up cuz the evil witch was a cheatin' bitch with a seemingly streaming needle fix. Chain-smoked while her veins choked, now the dame's broke cuz' of gameboats. I know she'll be hunting tracks attempting to come running back for more moneybags for her honeyfag with visions of video-style poker and hideous wild jokers, voyeurism, and her boy's thick jism. But the bloodhound is done now, her nose can't sniff my trail cuz' I'm frozen stiff in Vail ski resorts cuz the police reports are stacked against me, if you have to be asking me, I guarantee it's "mack envy," precisely. Because I defied three laws, now I hide between sleetfalls, cuz' all kinds of yeehaws wanna see me behind steel walls. Always had a crush on Mary Steenburgen, but I really had it for non-hairy teen virgins. Had an itch for, nah, more like a scratch for the stacked whores in platforms on the dancefloors. One day a raving dancing snakelet with an amazing ankle bracelet emblazoned her bodacious navel, not even a breath of space between her flesh and my face. Even though I didn't know her, she wanted me to go lower, so I boned her, then it was over. Not even an hour had passed before the task force had my back door surrounded with gas and reports. Damn crack whore! I packed and tore through the claps of war. Good thing I'm fast, for if they had caught me, I'd be by my lonely, playing Yahtzee in a solitary holding cell listening to moaning yells from homo belles. Modern-day Jerry Lee Lewis swooping the kooches with no pubics, elusive to the clueless brood of snooping buffoons! Hiphop stuck in a deep state of desperation/ so many lackluster MC's I gotta listen to the voices in my head for inspiration
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