Tears of a clown

[MMLP]

His role exploits a manic upbringing with a boisterous dad. The annoying habits
of these spoilt brats could destroy a man
All the boys are laughing and as they rejoice and clap, he’s at the point of cracking as they point and laugh.
But with poise he stands to the poison chalice. Amongst toys and prams they’re causing a nuisance.
He performs to amuse but a lack of plaudits as proven that he’s wasted his time.
Now he’s drawing conclusions that by playing a mime he’s trailed behind.
Portrait of a man that is dying inside when his patience implies that he’s having the time of his life.
When in fact he is crying and anxious in finding a ladder to climb.
Seeking a change in the tides, white-faced from the tirades they would cry.
As a pattern unwinds he starts acting in silence, tragically hiding
the heartbreak of a life he’s able to hide with paint that’s applied.
A blatant disguise, detracting from the pain on his mind which drains from his eyes.
Although, each performance creates a chorus of “Yay’s” from the minors.
As their favourites are chimed, bursting out phrases and lines and making them rhyme
With really nothing to state he’s juggled his way to acquire a place to retire.
Had once taken a shine but now his characters died, up in smoke in blazes of fire
but he hopes that the lions are tamed and that’s what’s providing a ray of some light
But quickly the image depletes, stuck in a prison he feels.
They sit at the wheel, whistle and scream, now realising that he isn’t the biggest of deals
The magicians revealed, tricks up his sleeves which he didn’t conceal
now he’s drifting to sea on a mission to flee.
His relationships forming a lifeboat but he must alter his line to start walking a tightrope.
Now at his curtain call, realising this wasn’t working for him.
All their germs that crawled/ the dirt that swarmed, the early mornings!?!
He already knew in his head that wifeing a single mother wasn’t worth the bullshit!!

[UnbornBuddha]

This is real nice MMLP. It has thus very hip hop feel to it and the cadence of the piece is illustrious in its rhythm. There is some of the normalcy one expects when reading one of your pieces, so there's no suprises, but I enjoyed it very much. It was entertaining.

[MystaMic]

Great rhythm .. Good use of voc. .. woulda like a lil more structure .. all in all nice drop .. 7/10

[MMLP]

Kind words fellas! Salute!

[Pharaohs Army]

Fine.
I linked it already, but

UP

"Sandra?"

This...OF ALL THINGS, THIS
is my "K.O.", MMLP... lol.

I don't know. Maybe they already knew it was 6.5 yrs ago.

Done.
I just read it again, I'm done.
I mean, other than the last line:
STG, if I'd wife'd a single mother or was dating one...
MIGHT'VE just ended it all after reading this.
It was close. It was getting close.
I can laugh about it now.

Fuck you all. OF COURSE I'D "UP" IT
===============================
for fucks sake

As their favourites are chimed, bursting out phrases and lines and making them rhyme
hope u die mmlp

respect brahs~


***Edit
Alright, a line of "real feed" before I log off....to go with my self-absorbed "personal relation to the verse" comments above...lol:

As their favourites are chimed, bursting out phrases and lines and making them rhyme
obviously i like this line...did not KNOW i subconsciously bit it in my 2nd audio track (not verbatim but the scheme)
With really nothing to state he’s juggled his way to acquire a place to retire.
uh-huhhhh...................
Had once taken a shine but now his characters died, up in smoke in blazes of fire
for lack of a better word i just think "blazes of fire" is such a dope phrase; FIRE phrase...more good MMLP uber-rhyming...love the simple statement that "his characters died"...really great thing to describe any writer or entertainer...
but he hopes that the lions are tamed and that’s what’s providing a ray of some light
Alright let's nitpick....cuz this is like one of the few knocks for this uber-multi style.....who in the world EVER says "ray of some light" or "rays of some light"...the "some" is nothing more than syllable-mulit-match filler here and, careful, can kill a vibe or flow. Aside for the troublesome "some" the rhyme itself (at least in AMERICAN/USA...is kinda stretchy/reachy...not as slick as the 3 previous...and yes the "closers" or after a "long string" I DO often go for a bend or a wiggle, but this is...well, as u can see,, the one nitpick!...edit yeah I don't like the rhyme. Just don't like it; you friggen brits. Maybe it fits for you.
Guess my suggestion would be:
well there's a lot of possible fixes (if ur not gonna change the end rhyme)
but he hopes that the lions are tamed and that’s what’s providing a ray of some light
-....yikes.....I had a lot of possibilities, involving the first word "but", perhaps a comma /and/or pause after "what's" or "providing"....nonono scratch that--
BOTTOM LINE...the fix is you make it "hesitate" and then say Ray of Light and fucking make it fit w/ the previous 3 multis just fucking make it happen as a rapper....if that involves re-wording earlier parts of the line then you do that too.....

Lol, did I tame you fucking lions yet? Is that my consolation MMLP? Is that my hope/optimism. That they've been TAMED. LOL....
No. I shall goad the lions with the most choice cuts of meat.... I shall dangle said meats (no homo)....and we all shall feast.... &by that i mean the 5-10 active writers here
BYE mmlp

***Edit #8,726 since February
Or if u dont wanna hesitate and chop the multi shorter...u say "some Rays of Light" instead of rays of some light!!! that might be the winner.
i donno figure it out losers

fuck all of our lives especially mine & MMLPs for this verse lol~

[emcee squared]

up
THIS IS ACTUALLY PHARAOHS

FUCK YOU MMLP WE HAD TO CUT DOWN ON DRUGS CUZ OF THIS VERSE

[emcee squared]

up lol