'When The Autumn Wind Brought An End To The Melody'

Vlad · 09-18-2015, 09:19 PM

'When The Autumn Wind Brought An End To The Melody'

Waltzing; in motion, free - drawing in the ocean's breeze,
The vibration of the bass is a taste; forever young,
Seldom is it sung, the melody - we held it in our lungs,
Beauty, within a spoken plea, whispered amongst our hopes & dreams.

Through hope, we breathe, lush in ballad,
A floating sea, brushed our palettes,
An open sky, plush, no malice,
Inside we lie, clouds puffed,our palace.

A seasonal sonata; sweet summer sonnets;
Measures brought forth with the hum of comets,
We reached a place ingrained - true love is honest;
Where our faith remained within a budding promise.

Graceful twirling, ankle deep; lullabies of a singer's dream,
The sun & moon - angles meet; butterflies where our fingers weave.
As, in this spot we lay, sparkling sands within our reach,
I caught her gaze; heart'ning strands begin to speak.

My glance, eclipsed; a vision of beauty.
Her dancing lips; division of rubies.
The glimpse of her eyes; as if colored by sunset,
Free as the rising tide; discovered, yet unmet.

Beneath the skies of thunder, we'd found a new dawn before us,
With the rise of summer, love drifted in as a calming aura.
Subtle chimes in the wind; that echoed with our whispers,
Intertwined; wrapped within, the presence of our figures.

[The daylight of summer began dimming...]

As quickly as the sunkindled, our love dwindled,
The wind,upon which we rung cymbals, now becomes dismal.
The crashing of the drum fizzles, while the tide, it's strum shrivels,
Where the orchestra begun ripples, the melody, now a numb drizzle.

A colorful connection; now clouds shield the rainbow we once found,
Autumn winds begin to drown; leaves, us, tumbling to the ground.
The symphony of sounds, which once resounded so profound,
Now fades, like nature's hound; the composer's winding down.

"One last dance?"

We're twirling; our charm is spent, nowsifting through the crowd,
Minds swirling; our arms extend, our bodies drifting further, shrouds,
Still, she manages a smile, as she whispers,"Distance finally found us, how?"
A kiss upon the cheek, then we separate, as summer love takes it's final bow.

sral · 09-19-2015, 05:14 AM

pretty cool shit

solid flow man

I feel like you would sound better on tracks than it reads in text

Textcees care too much that every syllable doesn't match up perfectly, that doesn't matter so much on a song

record this shit

you @Vlad from R-R? we have Baron X here under the name @Ullr

NYCSPITZ · 09-19-2015, 06:27 AM

yo very dope shit here bruh. I thought it was flames, although I don't think a girl (or any human being, for that matter) would say something like "distance finally found us, how"? Just not something that would be said irl but that's one of my few complaints. One of the few pieces I've read recently that captured my attention enough for me to read the whole thing. Only piece I can remember doing so in the open mic other than a dead man piece to be honest. The imagery and shit was fiya. Good shit playa...

Vlad · 09-19-2015, 01:58 PM

Yeah, @sraL, that's me.

Been told to record this a few times, I may, my delivery for audio is hugely a work in progress though, fairly subpar currently, tbh.

Appreciate it, NYC.

puravida · 09-21-2015, 02:06 PM

nice imagery. fresh piece. i like

Chemist · 09-21-2015, 07:52 PM

Very well written, I dig it.
Also digging the name vlad

Mr. J · 10-12-2015, 02:40 PM

Through hope, we breathe, lush in ballad,
A floating sea, brushed our palettes,
An open sky, plush, no malice,
Inside we lie, clouds puffed,our palace.

A seasonal sonata; sweet summer sonnets;
Measures brought forth with the hum of comets,
We reached a place ingrained - true love is honest;
Where our faith remained within a budding promise.
^^^^
I havent seen anything written like this around here for awhile
this was a pretty dope set of concepts that you set up here...
I thought everything in this piece was pretty cool this was my favorite though
an interesting set of pace from the beginning, I really liked this though
a refreshing read mixed in with what has become the norm around here...
dope work brah

Exis · 10-14-2015, 04:57 AM

Yeah this nice with it...poetic feel, great flow...solid content.From top to bottom I felt it..mmm where my bitch @ lol.

Waltzing; in motion, free - drawing in the ocean's breeze,
The vibration of the bass is a taste; forever young,
Seldom is it sung, the melody - we held it in our lungs,
Beauty, within a spoken plea, whispered amongst our hopes & dreams.

Through hope, we breathe, lush in ballad,
A floating sea, brushed our palettes,
An open sky, plush, no malice,
Inside we lie, clouds puffed,our palace.

A seasonal sonata; sweet summer sonnets;
Measures brought forth with the hum of comets,
We reached a place ingrained - true love is honest;
Where our faith remained within a budding promise.

^^Chea.

Stay uppity man.

09-18-2015, 09:19 PM	#1
Vlad Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2015 Posts: 6 Rep Power: 0	'When The Autumn Wind Brought An End To The Melody' 'When The Autumn Wind Brought An End To The Melody' Waltzing; in motion, free - drawing in the ocean's breeze, The vibration of the bass is a taste; forever young, Seldom is it sung, the melody - we held it in our lungs, Beauty, within a spoken plea, whispered amongst our hopes & dreams. Through hope, we breathe, lush in ballad, A floating sea, brushed our palettes, An open sky, plush, no malice, Inside we lie, clouds puffed,our palace. A seasonal sonata; sweet summer sonnets; Measures brought forth with the hum of comets, We reached a place ingrained - true love is honest; Where our faith remained within a budding promise. Graceful twirling, ankle deep; lullabies of a singer's dream, The sun & moon - angles meet; butterflies where our fingers weave. As, in this spot we lay, sparkling sands within our reach, I caught her gaze; heart'ning strands begin to speak. My glance, eclipsed; a vision of beauty. Her dancing lips; division of rubies. The glimpse of her eyes; as if colored by sunset, Free as the rising tide; discovered, yet unmet. Beneath the skies of thunder, we'd found a new dawn before us, With the rise of summer, love drifted in as a calming aura. Subtle chimes in the wind; that echoed with our whispers, Intertwined; wrapped within, the presence of our figures. [The daylight of summer began dimming...] As quickly as the sunkindled, our love dwindled, The wind,upon which we rung cymbals, now becomes dismal. The crashing of the drum fizzles, while the tide, it's strum shrivels, Where the orchestra begun ripples, the melody, now a numb drizzle. A colorful connection; now clouds shield the rainbow we once found, Autumn winds begin to drown; leaves, us, tumbling to the ground. The symphony of sounds, which once resounded so profound, Now fades, like nature's hound; the composer's winding down. "One last dance?" We're twirling; our charm is spent, nowsifting through the crowd, Minds swirling; our arms extend, our bodies drifting further, shrouds, Still, she manages a smile, as she whispers,"Distance finally found us, how?" A kiss upon the cheek, then we separate, as summer love takes it's final bow.

09-19-2015, 05:14 AM	#2
sral LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: CRUMPETVILLE Posts: 8,605 Battle Record: 28-3 Champed - Gimmick Battle League - The Winter Topical - Topical Martyrs - Lime Green Poetry Association - Lyric Olympics - Art of Writing League - Guerrilla Writing League (2x) - Black August II Rep Power: 85899396	pretty cool shit solid flow man I feel like you would sound better on tracks than it reads in text Textcees care too much that every syllable doesn't match up perfectly, that doesn't matter so much on a song record this shit you @Vlad from R-R? we have Baron X here under the name @Ullr __________________ - Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)

09-19-2015, 06:27 AM	#3
NYCSPITZ SYRACUSE Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,031 Battle Record: 31-37 Champed - Write Night II - Alias Topical Tournament Rep Power: 4743547	yo very dope shit here bruh. I thought it was flames, although I don't think a girl (or any human being, for that matter) would say something like "distance finally found us, how"? Just not something that would be said irl but that's one of my few complaints. One of the few pieces I've read recently that captured my attention enough for me to read the whole thing. Only piece I can remember doing so in the open mic other than a dead man piece to be honest. The imagery and shit was fiya. Good shit playa... __________________ UNIFIED THEORY

09-21-2015, 07:52 PM	#6
Chemist Try this shit Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: uninhabitable Posts: 365 Battle Record: 5-11 Rep Power: 0	Very well written, I dig it. Also digging the name vlad __________________

10-12-2015, 02:40 PM	#7
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	Through hope, we breathe, lush in ballad, A floating sea, brushed our palettes, An open sky, plush, no malice, Inside we lie, clouds puffed,our palace. A seasonal sonata; sweet summer sonnets; Measures brought forth with the hum of comets, We reached a place ingrained - true love is honest; Where our faith remained within a budding promise. ^^^^ I havent seen anything written like this around here for awhile this was a pretty dope set of concepts that you set up here... I thought everything in this piece was pretty cool this was my favorite though an interesting set of pace from the beginning, I really liked this though a refreshing read mixed in with what has become the norm around here... dope work brah __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

09-19-2015, 01:58 PM	#4
Vlad Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2015 Posts: 6 Rep Power: 0	Yeah, @sraL, that's me. Been told to record this a few times, I may, my delivery for audio is hugely a work in progress though, fairly subpar currently, tbh. Appreciate it, NYC.

09-21-2015, 02:06 PM	#5
puravida sloth kong Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: The Central Valley Posts: 685 Battle Record: 2-5 Rep Power: 11732142	nice imagery. fresh piece. i like

10-14-2015, 04:57 AM	#8
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,934 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	Yeah this nice with it...poetic feel, great flow...solid content.From top to bottom I felt it..mmm where my bitch @ lol. Waltzing; in motion, free - drawing in the ocean's breeze, The vibration of the bass is a taste; forever young, Seldom is it sung, the melody - we held it in our lungs, Beauty, within a spoken plea, whispered amongst our hopes & dreams. Through hope, we breathe, lush in ballad, A floating sea, brushed our palettes, An open sky, plush, no malice, Inside we lie, clouds puffed,our palace. A seasonal sonata; sweet summer sonnets; Measures brought forth with the hum of comets, We reached a place ingrained - true love is honest; Where our faith remained within a budding promise. ^^Chea. Stay uppity man.