WEEK 5 MAG

[Sharp]

[Intro]

[Sharp]
That's right you douchecanoes. Sorry bout the day delay, real life caught up with me but I got two guys on this mag who I see being dependable cornerstones for the season, Unfukwitable and Flo Real. Let's get to it with some dope contributions.


[Unfukwitable]

1ST CHAMP MATCH OF SEASON III



Hope yall are all ready!, this is what Kicks off the season usually, seeing someone w/ the title awakes all hunger in battlers that's aiming to catch the kill, LETS WORK!!!





[Top 5]
[Unfukwitable]



Useless
He's on a 5-0 streak and solidified his spot in the champ match.

Resin M-I-C
HOF'er and is duking it out for the title right now.

Sharp
Good record, witty and is competing to be a Contender in the Champ match.

Ullr
Solid bars and is up against Sharp in the Cond. match.

Unfukwitable
The Record speaks even tho he/I lost the Cond. match last week


[Highlight Battles]


Witty vs Flo Real (Rebuttals)

Flo Real
On his own now with no Nine for bluffing;
Without Sharp 'wit, he' just another RB faggot known for nothing

Witty
U ain't black, u british white n you'll never land with ANY punch you craft
Cuz if ur lines got ppl seeing stars....it's just you making up your fuckin' past

Flo Real
I got no Philly hoes, but thanks to famine.. he knows state side bro's who ain't flo
This Irish cunt been digging up dirt all his life...while i just popped to the shop to buy my potato.

Witty
Known for nothing?

I've won tourneys, leagues, awards, beaten ANYBODY who came at me
That's why we ain't alike.....I can actually back up who I claim to be.

Witty wins


Unfukwitable vs Hush

Unfukwitable
If I lose w/ what I wrote for u, I'm in Brooklyn, robbing u & ya hoe for loot,
Ironic I'll take Hush money, &U Bribe people on the weekly basis to vote for u.

Hush
chrome four five up close a eat u, none of these fags a greive u
point blank range blast put ya features on the mag, without u doin battle reviews


Bash vs Sharp

Bash
I knew ya woman was easy, half that town told me dawg
Cuz no matter where that frequent...thats how often she dropped the draws.

Sharp
Try fuckin writing for your opponent once. So impersonal at this shit man
Only carry cheap n shitty generics - You're basically Uh-oh's prescription plan

Sharp Wins


Orc vs Magnum Force (aka Joe Metts)

Orc
Ya new steez is ironic. Plus you basic n' played
You named yaself Magnum Force, & it takes Joe a Gun & Rape to get Laid

Magnum Force
Heard about ur PM game. Could explain how he went from barely hot to mad sick
he's either just really the king of the Hillary has a more questionable mailbox then that bitch

Joe Metts Wins

Destroyer vs Strikta

Destroyer
tried to pick him up out the gutter, but strik gonna do the poor thing...
cause I gave conquistador, but his dumb ass still slept on the porch swing

Strikta
U stay losing champ matches, & always suck like da shit is ya bidniz
U ever snatch gold & get a taste of it, it's jus ya wife's 24k stud in her clit when u lick it

Destroyer Wins

Chyeahhh!!! vs Bags (Rebuttals)

Chyeahhh!!!
Your kid's mixed, half black, the other half is white
u saying nigger makes sense, cuz you're only a good father half the time

Bags
U neglect ur kid for them conspiracies. At school? I bet she's famished.
U should take that tinfoil hat an wrap ur daughters lunch in it u deadbeat fagot.

Chyeahhh!!!
lmao @ this angry dude, that father shit struck a nerve, didn't it?
my daughter can teach yours how to make a fire, ironic I'm teaching her daddy how to spit it

Bags
Half black? Funny but u known for ur bs cuz u a liar
If shes even an 8th black she burnt her arm tossin ur kid into that fire

Bags wins


[No-Show Shine]

Greed vs Witty
This creeper is Mr. Steal yo girl, and if he takes urs im sorry
Whatever Forest Whittaker to she ghost dog.. he a ninja at hiding bodies

jilti vs ...The Munster
that tv reporter got shot face to face, and everybody saw it
so wont be nothin when i put 3 rounds in front of ...the Munster like everytime he logs in

fraze vs Joe Metts
ya broads a dirty whore jaun. I hit the bitch. I'm not bragging
she felt full force from the magnum & was spread on the hood of my dodge wagon




[Premier Punchers League Tables]
[Flo Real]
This table was worked out using your wins/losses while taking into consideration no shows as well.

If one or more people fall equal it will go alphabetically.

There is a short write up below on everyone in the top 14 with a few honourable mentions after that.


THE TOP FOUR
1. Useless
2. Bags
3. Sharp
4. Unfukwitable

KNOCKING ON THE DOOR
5. ULLR
6. Destroyer
7. Diablo
8. Fraze

RIGHT IN THE CORE
9. Killing Spree
10. Bash
11. Flo Real
12. Greed
13. Jilti
14. Chyeeeh

LOOKING TO THE FLOOR
15. Letterman
16. Resin M-I-C
17. Infiltration
18. JShazo
19. Orc
20. YDK

NOT UP TO SCORE (yet)
21. Lotto Smirk
22. Plot
23. Swerve
24. Junto
25. Bloodshed
26. Work



Useless aka Remy LeBeau 5-0
For a guy who reppin the name Useless Remy is far from it. Was a close match between him Unfukwitable but he continues to keep proving his name wrong. He is the guy to beat and rightly takes the top spot.

Bags 3-1
While sat at number two thanks to his name starting with a B that doesn't change the fact he has fought for his place in the four snapping at Useless' heels. This guy never comes played, always comes fresh and always brings the laughs. He also has a beard which is always fun.

Sharp 3-1
Sitting one above Unfuk seems harsh given the difficulty of Unfuks slightly more difficult opponents. But he has still not had an easy ride to the top four with two of his competitors sat in the top ten. This guy always has some of the best nameplays each week an Loves a personal.

Unfukwitable
[Sharp]
This dude is nice. No getting around that. Got a really NC-friendly style that comes with creative delivery of concepts simple enough that no one will miss, but aren't so simple they come off as dumb. He's one of the guys that can do a lot with a bar and that can (and I'ma say right now, will) carry a guy far through a season.

ULLR 3-0 (2 wins by NS)
Hes been quite lucky so far and has 2 no show wins to thank for his standing. I could see Destroyer leap frogging him if he doesn't bring his A game in his next match. If he does take home the W though.... he moves straight into 2nd regardless of what anyone else does.... jammy fuck

Destroyer 3-1 (1 win by NS)
Destroyer isn't deserving of his spot at 6th. But I was thankful for the single no show win he has as it would of been a pain to have a top 5. This guy always impresses me with gun bars. I usually hate them and find it hard to make them fresh but he always seems to do it. Plus I really want his wording ability. Its the dogs bullocks (which is a UK way of saying good ironically...) expectimg him to leap frog ULLR

Diablo 2-0
The only unbeaten cat on this list so far minus Useless (number 1) and URRL (2 NS wins). His competition hasn't been the best with one of the guys he faced not even placed in this league. Be interesting to see how he fairs against some people surrounding him.

Fraze 2-1 (2 wins by no show)
Fraze has yet to win by votes with both his wins being thanks to no shows but if you were watching the onslaught cypher you will see this guy has some talent. Really enjoyed alot of what he has written and think he is about where I'd expect him to be.

Killing Spree 2-1 (2 wins by no show)
Killing Spree is placed below fraze simply in thanks to his name starting with K. To be honest though I feel fraze is in a stronger place right now and so it works out right. Looking forward to seeing Kill get a chance to go on a Spree of wins with skill.

Bash 2-2
He has won as much as he has lost but if you saw his battle with sharp you know he won't be happy with this and will be looking to climb the win ladder soon. That frequent line was dope though.

Flo Real 2-2 (1 win by NS)
[Sharp]
Can't lie, when dude's on he is on. Has a good sense of humor that has shown up in the last few weeks. He's clever and has gotten away from seeming corny which would hold him back. If he keeps up what he's been doing he should be able to cause a few upsets and generally surprise some heads.

Greed 2-2 (1 win by NS)
Greed had a bit of a hissy over people not feeling his wordplay. Personally I think we have all been there and felt the voters cold hard sting. Sometimes people feel it sometimes it's a reach.

Jilti 2-2 (1 win by NS)
Jilti is another victim in the standings because of a NS win. He isn't deserving to be this low and I see him comfortably rising from here on after this point. His battle with bags was a good one but unfortunately bags as a nameplay is just overdone and overplayed for too many here.

Chyeeh 3-2 (1 win by dq)
Chyeeh rounds of our core group with 3 wins and 2 losses. Chyeeh may seem like a crazy person if you read his discussion threads but that zany part of him that is open to so much crazy is in my opinion the direct reason his creativity with his concepts is one of the best. Maybe too ahead of his time some times and it can go over people's heads but when this guys gets it right it's always one of my favourite bars.

Honourable Mentions
Lotto has been hard done by here and is definitely going to leap frog people consistently at least until he hits the core part of the league.

Orc is away or something I believe, his loss simply down to a no show. This guy will be up there

Resin M-I-C had some really good rebuttals in the onslaught cypher and I can see him smashing the wins out moving forward





Cypher Review
[Sharp]

Read through that whole god damn thing and pulled out the best of the best for ya

Resin MIC
ayy u stupid fuk, u gettin beat EASY..
U aint throwin hands, kid.. all this U.N. is throwin up is a fuckin peace treaty.
^this Arab thinks he's welcomed in hip hop.. what i said's a slight miss
cuz when i say he knows who Head Ice is, i really meant he knows who heads Isis
shutup clown.. no girl will ever tease ya
last time we saw an ugly Smirk on a broad was the mona lisa

IMO Resin won it in a close one. His quoted bars hit well and what I didn't quote was pretty consistent.

Unfukwitable
For flippin old lines Ima hammer ya face;
viewers'll see so many Y knots, they'll wonder if a answer awaits.
this cats dead I'll back'em into a corner then crack heads.
Ironically I'll have frays on the ropes and this'll be his last thread
U play to much, So ima give ya frame 2 bucks,
funny u mentioned Dyslexia.. & Dr's will be seein Fraze screwed up!!

Made this shit clooooose but there were a few more flips I wasn't feeling compared to Resin. Just barely had to give him second, thought Resin was just a hair harsher.

Flo Real
I could beat lotto without trying, so who's ducking shit when it gets rough
Fuck a bout cus when it comes to a Lotto card this bitch a scratch off
No bitches want you, you have to be a sex pest to get laid
If your a catch fraze, cus yo repetitive as fuck until they give up an get swayed


Lotto Smirk
dissing ur hero, u zero funny that's why u duckin shit
But u'll always be just unable .. to Ever be him cus U lack the fuk'n wit
Biggest gains ur custom avy, made u feel like a star
U can have a thousand words.. U still wont put them together to create a dope bar

Genuinely couldn't pick a 3rd place finisher here. Was between Flo and Lotto for two different reasons so tbh I figure they both deserve the recognition. I gotta give Flo the edge for consistency though. Lotto coulda changed it probably just by dropping a bar or two more. Props though.


fraze
got persistence and my wit. yeah sometimes it takes a few passes.
but while im puttin work with the ladies... this fag's putting work into dudes asses...

Thought fraze was off here tbh. Seemed to be going for something new which I always respect but if that's the case, he's still gotta develop that style more.

Jshazo
I'll keep that buzz going,get em some shots when that tec is fired
Spree? please my body count is higher,that 40 do numbers when it blow like a breathalyzer

This dude def coulda taken it cause I know he's pretty nice, seems clever enough to hang in a cypher the way he flipped Spree's thing. But he didn't.

Destroyer
u got that garbage weed tho, so we better stick w/ mine
cuz fraze ur trees ain't gettin lit up unless it's christmastime

Junto
ur wack & ur styles gay, fuckin clown. This guy is child's play
Funny u went da Vinci route... cuz u gon look like Caspere when Woodrugh found him by the highway

Just needed to see more from these guys to compete.


Winner: Resin M-I-C
Second Place: Unfukwitable
Third Place: Flo Real


[Un's Predictions]
[Unfukwitable]

????Unexpected Champ????
Diablo
I feel like he may not be on peoples radars but after I kill him this week (lol) he seems to have the skill to go on a tare and make moves up the ranks, But like I said I don't anyone is really checking for him atm so U heard it hear first, I got a eye for this things.

Which MIA head will show back up for this league
Cashius
I got a feeling he's just gonna pop back up with a "In" post, He was real dope in the last 1-2 also, So I can see him getting back into the swing of things by joing out of the blue. watch!, 100.


Who will rage quit over voting
MUFF
He's not here right now but I can see him rage quittin something he's not even participating in lol, Hopefully no one thats signed in actually quits due to votes this season tho, thats corny lol

Ridiculous concept match that will actually become a thing
Tag Team 1-2 Bar ...
lmfaooo just watch lmaooo sounds silly I know but just wait on it LMAO

Feud that will arise
Suicide Squad vs. THE WORLD
We gonna smoke everyone and they will all be upset and keep coming at us, But we will keep piling the bodies up to the Heavens.


[Outro]

There you have it. Niceness from these two guys on their mag parts and that matches the quality we've been getting in the league. You guys been killing it and we only gonna get doper from here, with the upcoming theme weeks we talked about. Alias week? Pic week? Who knows? I sure as fuck don't but I can't wait to find out.

[Ghost1]

Nice. U gotta drop these on time tho bros.

Good shit tho regardless.

[YDK]

No mention no care

[Resin M-I-C]

props.. solid read fellas

[sral]

Diablo been a sleeping giant tbh

[Flow]

@YDK I was going to do a write up on all 20 but two things happened in quick succession.

1. I realised I couldn't be bothered
2. I realised I could pass my laziness off as a good reason for people to get higher in the rankings to get a write up

[Useless]

How did I miss this...

Good shit