loved & lost

[Cimmerian]

Girl, you listen, is your clamshell world a prison?
While I’m asleep—diving deep for a pearl of wisdom
Let’s make the Earth twist as we twirl positions
Watch the sun break sky, unwind and hurl the prism
Crash with color, you pastel smothered bashful lover
Fan the flames, ashes hover in bland remains
Your lashes flutter, I shudder in a clap of chains
Can I ask your name, Miss Venus of an astral plane?
From stars we wish, the reason that Mars exists
The same prick in my pride, lying with scars to stitch
The art of hips, curves of your lips, defying the laws of it
A permanent kiss gripped, prying my heart to fit
Open wide, provoking eyes, lying in your mind’s midst
Open skies, floating by, flying in a blind bliss
Open sighs, hoping I’m finding you in time Miss
Open night, close the day—dying you’ve gone away.

Blood in the sands, this hourglass stands—
As a test of time, Let’s resurrect these lines—
With a last dance, stepping to a brass band—
Her ring on her finger lingers next to mine
Watch my arms race, inking an odyssey
An armory can’t keep us safe from harmony
Melancholy melodies, my artery for artistry
Is the hole in my heart that holds you apart
Part of me pardons me, as a whole it’s a farce
Whispering nothing but secrets stolen at dark
Pour the wine slowly, For your eyes only—
Pierce me deep sea, the roar of the tides on me
Capsize my limbs, but Baby, baptize within
I swim in these sentiments, dive with a pen
War from the start of it, I never put my heart in it
On my honor it’s, wrapped in this armistice.

Spring to life pictures, this page of white winter
For her, sweet nothings, everything in night whispers
A nerve, hunts for the meaning—pleasure or pain
Prey that I’m dreaming or waking together again
Jet stream of consciousness, shaping whether it rains—
A verse condensing the hurt—lines sever the veins
Melt me open hearted, felt the emotions broke free
Into a scene of make believe blown in the breeze
Tides of time slipped away days in waves from me
You and I were passersby wading in its streams
Lost and found you at last, Ex drawn on my map
Treasuring your memory . . . drowned in my past
In an ocean of emotion, I sit, bleeding this pen
Sailing all night, so I, sea you again
In an ocean of emotion, I sit, bleeding this pen
Sailing all night, so I, sea you again.

[sral]

Isn't this old?

Like, 2006-era old, Cimm?

It's dope but I can't help but feel I want to read something new from you. People change. Styles change. I loved the stuff I wrote back then, but I feel like my more recent work is infinitely better as I've grown and matured in my writing.

I see it in dead man and Certain's writing. Ironically, the three of us have assumed diff pseudonyms in our later years.

I want to read 2015 era Cimm, though.

Lets collab maybe?

[Split Eight]

Girl, you listen, is your clamshell world a prison?
While I’m asleep—diving deep for a pearl of wisdom
Let’s make the Earth twist as we twirl positions
Watch the sun break sky, unwind and hurl the prism

>didn't like "hurl the prism"


Crash with color, you pastel smothered bashful lover
Fan the flames, ashes hover in bland remains
Your lashes flutter, I shudder in a clap of chains
Can I ask your name, Miss Venus of an astral plane?
From stars we wish, the reason that Mars exists
The same prick in my pride, lying with scars to stitch
The art of hips, curves of your lips, defying the laws of it
A permanent kiss gripped, prying my heart to fit

>aight


Open wide, provoking eyes, lying in your mind’s midst
Open skies, floating by, flying in a blind bliss
Open sighs, hoping I’m finding you in time Miss
Open night, close the day—dying you’ve gone away.

>dope dope dope. Variations on a theme are sick & this was nice

Blood in the sands, this hourglass stands—
As a test of time, Let’s resurrect these lines—
With a last dance, stepping to a brass band—
Her ring on her finger lingers next to mine
Watch my arms race, inking an odyssey
An armory can’t keep us safe from harmony
Melancholy melodies, my artery for artistry
Is the hole in my heart that holds you apart
Part of me pardons me, as a whole it’s a farce
Whispering nothing but secrets stolen at dark
Pour the wine slowly, For your eyes only—
Pierce me deep sea, the roar of the tides on me
Capsize my limbs, but Baby, baptize within
I swim in these sentiments, dive with a pen
War from the start of it, I never put my heart in it
On my honor it’s, wrapped in this armistice.

>more cliche than the beginning.

Spring to life pictures, this page of white winter
For her, sweet nothings, everything in night whispers
A nerve, hunts for the meaning—pleasure or pain
Prey that I’m dreaming or waking together again

>thought this was dope

Jet stream of consciousness, shaping whether it rains—
A verse condensing the hurt—lines sever the veins
Melt me open hearted, felt the emotions broke free
Into a scene of make believe blown in the breeze
Tides of time slipped away days in waves from me
You and I were passersby wading in its streams
Lost and found you at last, Ex drawn on my map
Treasuring your memory . . . drowned in my past
In an ocean of emotion, I sit, bleeding this pen

>awesome


Sailing all night, so I, sea you again
In an ocean of emotion, I sit, bleeding this pen
Sailing all night, so I, sea you again.

I thought overall this was good but some lines were trite or could've been cut IMO.

This is old though so a piece remainin fresh all these years later is an accomplishment in and of itself. Some great twists of language here and there, impressed by the style rather than the story

[Cimmerian]

Thanks for the looks. These verses were written years apart in 2003, 2006, and 2009. I ran across some of my old work the other day and recognized a common theme among the three—love and loss. I think they work well together. Ultimately, they are being presented for the first time together a la Rodin's "The Thinker" being part of "The Gates of Hell."

I'll try to write something new when I have a moment.

Cimm.

[Mr. J]

This was pretty smooth especially for something so old...
I remember a time when I was really into writing multi's
the dun'dun'da'dun'da type of vibe it brought was smooth
the theme you brought together was cool & like Split the style was impressive
it really does make me want to something new as well
due to the fact I enjoyed your write week verse also...either way dope shit al; together

[Pinot Grij]

@Cimmerian you're the best topical writer I've ever read - going back to the old days at LO/HHH.. your work is spellbinding and complex yet so effortlessly straightforward. Very pumped to see this and hope you keep contributing.

[Saint]

I've heard the audio to one of these, if I'm not mistaken you sound lil the guy from linkin park

[Cimmerian]

Originally Posted by Pinot Grij

@Cimmerian you're the best topical writer I've ever read - going back to the old days at LO/HHH.. your work is spellbinding and complex yet so effortlessly straightforward. Very pumped to see this and hope you keep contributing.

Your words are very kind. I'll see what I can do. It's tough to find time to write these days.

[UnbornBuddha]

"Fan the flames, ashes hover in bland remains
Your lashes flutter, I shudder in a clap of chains
Can I ask your name, Miss Venus of an astral plane?...
Open wide, provoking eyes, lying in your mind’s midst
Open skies, floating by, flying in a blind bliss
Open sighs, hoping I’m finding you in time Miss
Open night, close the day—dying you’ve gone away."

I thought this was fantastic, particularly what I quoted. Actually, I thought the first stanza was phenomenally captivating. The second was decent, but nothing like that first. Third was a nice closure, you have a very good flow., Frankly, the whole verse is very easy on the eyes. Although it did feel a bit circular in its progression and some parts were somewhat superfluous, nevertheless I enjoyed the read.

[sral]

Originally Posted by Cimmerian

Your words are very kind. I'll see what I can do. It's tough to find time to write these days.

Hit me up.

Lets collab.

[ill nik-A]

Good stuff... The good ole days

[Geno]

really dope cimm

hope to see the lars cimmerian battle go down. is it happening @Cimmerian @sraL?

[Cimmerian]

It'll happen. Overwhelmed with life at the moment.

[sral]

You married yet?!

[Cimmerian]

Originally Posted by sraL

You married yet?!

A week away. Sheesh.

[Frank]

I'll make u famous, cimm

Face me