The Pros and Cons of Married Life (A Balanced Review)

Clutbuck · 06-03-2015, 07:13 AM

So I've been married for 8-9 weeks now. It's safe to say the honeymoon period is over. The cons really are that nothing much changes... You constantly get people asking you that. "Does it feel different now you're married?" - Feel different to what? We're still the same individuals, and couple, we were. Living in the same spot we lived previously with the same friends etc. Nothing's really changed. I don't get why they asked that.

The other drawback is after having all the money/gifts given to you for the honeymoon... You now have friends starting to hear wedding bells and you suddenly have to think of something to buy them of equal value or higher... and you were so drunk when you opened them all you can't remember what the fuck they gave you anyway. You just smiled the next time you saw them, thanked them for coming and their gift, then bored them with how great the holiday was they paid for but didn't get to go on. Come on, seriously? I've become a Grade A bullshit merchant since marriage.

So what else changed? Well, suddenly I had to be friendly with a whole heap of people I didn't know, but my wife did, who she invited along to the ceremony. I genuinely can't even remember the names of half these people. I've even been to the fucking funeral of someone I never met in my entire life, on my day off, just because my wife used to work with them. Now that's commitment, guys. I literally spent the entire time propping up the bar, eating the free food at the wake, and pretending to listen giving the odd 'Hmmmmm' and nodding or shaking my head at appropriate times, depending on how the story seemed to be going. What in the actual fuck?

This pseudo-listening trick actually backfired because I've randomly accepted an invite to another former work colleague of Mrs Lars' for some tea and biscuits shit. I've no clue what the hell their names are. It was at the wake. I make no excuses.

What else? I kept my gym membership open. Usually i'd have used that up until the wedding then scratched it. I quite like going now though, hit a few rounds, gets some aggression out. My boy signed up so I've almost a gym buddy there and now we're nearing our thirties, it's almost a new method of going out, so I suppose that's a pro I never even looked at like it.

What other pros are there? I mean, blow jobs are better, and on the increase. In my head I've named this the Spider-Man Effect in that "with great power comes great responsibility" and now we're married I was my sloth tickled on a bi-daily basis. Feel me? I've been eating good, Mrs Lars is vegetarian so she takes good care of me in that respect. Couple this with the gym regularly and I'm feeling more healthy/active overall, might even cop another e-cig to try kicking ciggies again.

Figured I'd update you all on my progress is all bruhs.

06-03-2015, 07:13 AM	#1
Clutbuck Battle Rap's Married Man Join Date: May 2015 Location: Crumpetville, England Posts: 389 Battle Record: 2-0 Champed - Gorilla Writing league Rep Power: 3513501	The Pros and Cons of Married Life (A Balanced Review) So I've been married for 8-9 weeks now. It's safe to say the honeymoon period is over. The cons really are that nothing much changes... You constantly get people asking you that. "Does it feel different now you're married?" - Feel different to what? We're still the same individuals, and couple, we were. Living in the same spot we lived previously with the same friends etc. Nothing's really changed. I don't get why they asked that. The other drawback is after having all the money/gifts given to you for the honeymoon... You now have friends starting to hear wedding bells and you suddenly have to think of something to buy them of equal value or higher... and you were so drunk when you opened them all you can't remember what the fuck they gave you anyway. You just smiled the next time you saw them, thanked them for coming and their gift, then bored them with how great the holiday was they paid for but didn't get to go on. Come on, seriously? I've become a Grade A bullshit merchant since marriage. So what else changed? Well, suddenly I had to be friendly with a whole heap of people I didn't know, but my wife did, who she invited along to the ceremony. I genuinely can't even remember the names of half these people. I've even been to the fucking funeral of someone I never met in my entire life, on my day off, just because my wife used to work with them. Now that's commitment, guys. I literally spent the entire time propping up the bar, eating the free food at the wake, and pretending to listen giving the odd 'Hmmmmm' and nodding or shaking my head at appropriate times, depending on how the story seemed to be going. What in the actual fuck? This pseudo-listening trick actually backfired because I've randomly accepted an invite to another former work colleague of Mrs Lars' for some tea and biscuits shit. I've no clue what the hell their names are. It was at the wake. I make no excuses. What else? I kept my gym membership open. Usually i'd have used that up until the wedding then scratched it. I quite like going now though, hit a few rounds, gets some aggression out. My boy signed up so I've almost a gym buddy there and now we're nearing our thirties, it's almost a new method of going out, so I suppose that's a pro I never even looked at like it. What other pros are there? I mean, blow jobs are better, and on the increase. In my head I've named this the Spider-Man Effect in that "with great power comes great responsibility" and now we're married I was my sloth tickled on a bi-daily basis. Feel me? I've been eating good, Mrs Lars is vegetarian so she takes good care of me in that respect. Couple this with the gym regularly and I'm feeling more healthy/active overall, might even cop another e-cig to try kicking ciggies again. Figured I'd update you all on my progress is all bruhs.