12-19-2022, 03:54 AM | #1 |
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MAGAZINE
i was sitting on the couch and minding my own business: posting on social media, channel surfing, uploading pics, etc...When I got this notification from Netcees, about somebody mentioning me, or whatever, on Netcees. I had disregarded these type of email over the years. This time was different, though. I started getting these premonitions. At this point, it had been years since I seriously really wrote anything & I thought, "What the hell!" I figured out my password, logged in. Signed up for the AOWL and the rest is history... Moral of the story is: We owe it to ourselves to prove ourselves. It's okay if you want to, continue, ignoring, the junk mail notifications, but-please: do not/don't allow yourself to simply disregard what makes you Who You Are. Stand up to what's stopping us. Now is the time to Fight to keep that dream alive inside of us. We were all in your same position. Sitting on the sofas, resting on our laurels, living in fantasy worlds of yesteryears lore. Its about time we got a good, swift kick in the pants. It's my gut feeling that text will bounce back once we snap out of our delusion of grandeur and this false sense of contentedness. It's only a matter of time before the collective conscious kicks in and the revolution gets televised: "Never Doubt That A Small Group Of Thoughtful Committed Citizens Can Change The World: Indeed It'S The Only Thing That Ever Has." WRITER'S BLOCK by El Pancake and ZYG: AOWL SEASON 3 WEEK 5 EXCERPT This is where we learn how ZYG's central processing unit functions.El Pancake: What's your process for writing so fast? I think most of the top tier writers could respond as fast as you do but you have the confidence to actually do it. Is it out of confidence that you do this or is it a sort of gambit? ZYG: Completing any writing task efficiently always begins in the planning stage of writing. My rule of thumb for the planning stage is always 20% and a bit. So if there is 2 hours allotted to finish something I'll spend about 25-30 minutes planning. Having a good, clear plan with all the major aspects of each paragraph/argument and a few examples for each of them set out is key for not getting stuck while writing. For the second part, it is no gambit or confidence or psychological ploy or anything like that. It is just a bit of an old habit. You have written 'top tier writers' - how would you define that, what are your features for a 'top tier writer' in this type of format? Like how much emphasis do you place on things like the multiple rhyme and this so-called 'flow' people sometimes comment about? El Pancake: To answer your last question first, I, personally, put a lot of emphasis on rhyme mechanics and my voting tends towards that. We aren’t writing short stories here. I understand that the ‘text rap’ form has evolved, at least in the topical sense, into its own form of writing. But I feel that if we depart too far from technical rhyme schemes it eventually becomes mediocre poetry (not to say that if this site’s focus was purely poetry the good writers couldn’t adapt). Everyone here has a basis, or touch point, with hip hop. So while I enjoy a poetic piece I think the ‘top tier’ consciously reconciles the dichotomy of ‘rhyming’ and ‘content’ with an emphasis on rhyme. Vulgar is my favorite example of this. Oats, too. Neither write raps, neither write poetry. But they write text with a point, with an eye for the use of the English language. And that’s where I think the Netcees topical scene should be and why they’re considered the best, or part of the best. big baby/damon falls into that, as well. What’s your writing process? I understand your 20% concept idea (I disagree). You obviously know that the trend is for writers to wait for the deadline to post. You purposely don’t do that. I suppose I’ve already asked this question, but I’m trying to dig deeper into the ‘why’ of your posting of verses. ZYG: OK for this type of writing specifically, my full process has 4 parts. Firstly, identify and familiarize the stimulus - usually some aspect of the topic will stand out, I like to choose an approach that is interesting to me and then commit to it. (For here, no research is needed but sometimes if the topic is unfamiliar a little internet search can help with overall approach.) Secondly, planning stage - this is the most critical stage for whether or not the quality is any good. There are three major things to be considered before even an outline is created. Tone, language and then general content. Tone is considered first and should mesh well with my approach identified in stage one. Language then should be self-evident to compliment the tone. Then general content is how I want to present everything (what kind of medium, maybe a story, maybe nonfiction discussion, maybe something else). Once these 3 are settled an outline is made for the specific content, the outline is just a number of shorthand dot points to help keep the progression focused and on track. Thirdly, the writing stage - 90% of the time for these things I don't write anything in order, kind of jumping from part to part, a sentence here, a phrase there, a thematic word that fits with the topic etc. Mostly it doesn't rhyme much and is not coherent early on. It's only later that it gets changed into rhymes and made more coherent, the earlier plan and dot points are used as a guide. Finally, reflective exercise - at the end I will spend time for some self-evaluation, generally looking at it once or twice more, a few days after it is finished. It is a critical reflective exercise completed for all of my writing, including on this website too. Reflection my favorite part of the process. Not reflection in the common sense of the word but reflection as the ability to remove personal bias and consider the writing critically and analytically from a meta-kind of position. The reflection considers the whole effort, not just the final product. When identifying a bad or confused section, I reflect on if there were any difficulties in the planning or initial stages that may have caused it. This way I can know what to avoid to maximize future efficiency. Not necessarily to make the future writing better, but to make each future writing process easier. What is your writing process and does it involve 'new-age folk'? El Pancake: It involves the perfect equilibrium of new-age folk and Jack Daniels. (srs) (notsrs) (semisrs) Really, though, my writing process is probably roughly the same as yours but I feel like you’re a bit more process oriented and professional about it than I am. @sral recently said that he takes his opponent into account in topical matches and I do the same thing. I often think about what route my opponent is most likely going to take and I than try to out-think that hypothetical concept. It sets a standard I want to exceed. As for plotting out a concept, it's a fickle. I probably over think it, trying to think of the single most original concept and that often leads me to paralysis by analysis. The best pieces I've written, in my eyes, have been the ones were I just picked a concept early on, stuck with it, and worked in the nuances. I find your process of writing in bits and pieces interesting. I write linearly, almost exclusively. The most I'll do is write the ending of a piece after getting to the middle. That's not to say I don't have ideas or lines in mind as I write, I think everyone does. I just never commit and write them early. That's largely due to the fact I like to structure my schemes very organically. I write from rhyme to rhyme, trying to fill in (hopefully) good content and wording with the rhymes as the pre-built frame. So if I were to pre-write lines ahead of time I would have to couch and reword lines/rhymes constantly to get the flow/effect I'm looking for. In typing that out it might not be a bad idea to try going that route sometime. As for the actual writing, it’s a long process. I’d hazard to guess I take multiple hours to write a piece unless it all just clicks right away, which can happen. I enjoy taking time and letting myself work through possible rhymes and wording combinations until I get it exactly how I want. There are, of course, times that I don’t allot myself enough time to do this and I have to rush. As far as a ‘reflective process’ goes I re-read my pieces quite a few times after they’re posted. I often dislike most of what I write initially but after the re-reading process I become okay with them. I find that the pieces others have liked the most from me don’t often match up with my opinion of my best work. Or that voters liked a piece/section for completely different reasons than I did. Self re-reading and taking votes into consideration has definitely shaped and refined my style, for better or worse. Probably better. As a side-note to this, I don’t read my opponent’s verse until the battle’s over or something in the votes piques my interest. Not meant be disrespectful, just a habit of mine. You have this mystique of being an alien/robot type entity that just pumps out high level content at a quick rate. Do you ever feel unsatisfied with a piece, or go through stretches of lack of inspiration/motivation? ZYG: Being an alien robot has some advantages and disadvantages. The joke is good and it's fun to go along with it, but when the satirist becomes the joke itself it’s time to do something else. Of course there's a feeling of little satisfaction when something doesn't translate well from original idea to final form, but that's why having good reflective skills is important. That being, pretty much in all facets of life I aim low to avoid feeling unsatisfied. The idea is - being consistent is all about being realistic. Work goals and life ambitions are split into different levels and then aim to achieve the most achievable targets first. The same principle goes for here too, I don't try to write some magnum opus piece de resistance every time, every effort is treated individually, so if feeling unsatisfied it's not because of not meeting some arbitrary or self-grandeur influenced unrealistic standard. Stretches of lack of motivation for this kind of writing don't really occur often, when they do I just don't log onto this website. However, if there is some outside situation where there's no avoiding working through a lack of motivation, there are different techniques to use. It's a good exercise to figure out where the lack of motivation is coming from, if it's due to burnout I like to do 15 minutes mentally on and 5 off alternating, nobody can tell by looking at you but just switching off/meditating without the meditation/sleeping without the sleep can help get motivation levels back temporarily. If lack of motivation is due distraction over some relationship controversy or interpersonal stressors I like to put those thoughts into the back of my CPU while there is still some task to finish and just concentrate on the very small details of whatever is at hand. As for inspiration, the original inspiration to write something is difficult to capture. That's why these contests with their attached stimulus are my favorite. I like being able to respond to something rather than trying to do something from scratch. Sometimes for ultimate rhyme inspiration I listen to twelve different Canibus songs all at once while standing in a slowly rotating sphere. Do you ever feel unenthusiastic or unmotivated? How do you deal with apathy towards writing? Also, thanks for the interview. It's early on in the competition but it looks like at the moment either @oats or @Vulgar have the momentum, it's always unwise to discount Frank. To finish, which users do you place your bets on? El Pancake: I usually just sign out and try to avoid writing altogether. That's where I was after my loss to @Just Write; I felt burnt out and just had to take a breather and focus on more important problems. When writing feels like work I like to take a step back and hopefully come back refreshed. As far as favorites go it’s a toss-up between @Vulgar and @oats. It’s early yet but from what I've read they've been the best writers this season. I think Vulgar out wrote Frank in their latest match and should be in the first champ match. Oats seems committed when he's not getting Genocide-drunk at weddings. It’s entirely too early to pick a favorite but they both have the skill and performance in-season so far to champ. If I was forced to pick one I’d go Vulgar. This is excluding me and you because obv favorites are obv. To cap off this back and forth, who do you have as the favorites? ZYG: Good point about things feeling like a grind, agreed, if it's not fun or enjoyable then there isn't really much point. My favorites are the same as you've mentioned, although my personal favorite is @Pinot Grij - just a really good display of advanced multiple rhyming and interesting subject matter. @Adonis seems to be capable as an underrated favorite this time, would like to see @Nigma and the @big baby sign in at some stage as well. @YDK is also up there as a favorite - he has a great control over all aspects of writing and has great takes on topics with a special mastery over writing tone and voice. Good luck to you and all others as well, all the best. El Pancake: Thanks for your time. It was interesting to hear about your writing process brah. Good luck this season. BACK IN THE DAY! Season 3: Week 12 "Cereal_Killah" Last House on the Left .. .. As maple seeds grow through the subtle grains of grass My brain is a stain glass window of faint hope-cast insane In a frame of past, present and whatever shall remain Dark..Dark like the meadow of change Dark like the grey silhouette when it rains Dark like what’s left for dead still matters It matters enough to bring pain I am a doll, from ₂ to 1 to none I am a Babushka doll enveloping my own song The colours of my orchestra are an aurora un-plugged Amongst torture, I have restored up and restrung what I love My own cabin of thoughts which hums through the wildest winds n’ dust Like a fever, to catch forever young .. I’m in a marriage with murals for mortar n aerials of fortunate lies I can move mountains with morality when I breathe in absorption lines My eyes are like opals open beyond Eris on an easel of sky In a delicate aisle of endurance swallowed by tangerine tiles For now my shack shimmers it’s numbers in a luminescent squall As night or day drifts like a centre fold memorial in my fish bowl There is only one; oen; ONE field of dreams I sit upon Imagination; a material or mirage of fortitude and madness split n hung A gift for some, to sift out something as vivid as freedom and missed love To get lost is the point, indirectly becoming twisted on a horizon Fixated on its existence knowing its whispers should leave you enlightened But it don’t The air is too thin up here and my circulation has gone numb The dimming light switch has shrunk to what it never was once There is only reason left in a sea of colours unseen by much A queen in a revolving reality de-evolving each mind it touched Once you remove its literal meaning and direct understand on others You find that you where always happier back in your own “poetic justice” No Show Shine MMLP Caught up in all the commotion of his guarded estate Once regarded a saint putting his family first As sharp as his navy coloured suits and flattering shirts A man of his word delivering packages at your door Always happy and chirpy and up at the crack of dawn Patting Labradors whilst relishing those early visits As the ladies clambered for his words of wisdom Turning women’s heads but with a secret battle plan As per, the birds are singing, This day just is beginning to unravel fast! He’s a really happy man, All smiles, beaming at the cat as he goes about his day Everything appropriately placed and nothing is encroached Until one day he notices a tray is missing its load and all of a sudden, he’s been Pigeonholed. He was pipped to the post with no time to respond Being pushed from pillar to post as he realises its gone and soon his wife is the one catching up on his infidelities She’s now reciting the wrong love-letter with a another address What he’s effectively done is a forwarded message Irrespective, He’d await his brush with death as she struggled letting go He pushed the envelope for far too long without consequence Thought he covered his tracks as he made advances A door to door charlatan who became an addict Caught in the act of his daily antics as he’d take advantage Like a snake, in silence he slithered Where lying became a habit but now it’s really time to deliver Facing the eyes of a killer with Redrum splattered around on opposite sides to the mirror Role reversal, the man of the house duties become upended Battling a spouse who’s come for vengeance Unrelenting in her quest for settling the score Revenge or a divorce? Disobeying the letter of the law and he’ll be fighting it shortly Living his timeline on the motto, like there’s no tomorrow As he lined up divorcees No pride, just the glory because life’s too short, But long story short he didn’t live to tell his side of the story Lighting the torch, in silence she stalked him Somewhat ironically, acting unusual with a gift concealed Rubber stamped for approval after ripping the seal Gripping the steel! She finally decided to bite the bullet ..but he did it for real Postman Pat’s killers revealed And that’s the day she got the sacks, his bodybag(s) A copycat, but a woman’s gotta do what a woman’s has gotta do It turns out Mr Pat was on the loose with pure disregard he faced the music, chopped and screwed into multiple parts To be kept as memorials in large, Now all of his partners are in the know and all is discovered Signed sealed delivered, piece by piece to all of his lovers! He was pipped to the post with no time to respond Being pushed from pillar to post as he realises its gone MMLP gave us a doozy here about some Paper Boys serial cheating ways and its spousal revenge. Without going into graphic detail and giving too much away: MMLP skips sinisterly down Infidelities Lane... going absolutely postal, kicking ass, taking names and whistling Dixie. His story begins like any other ordinary boring workplace story. It's MMLPs inherent knack for gradual story development: That creates A False Sense of Well Being, for the reader/audience. MMLP leads the reader to believe everything is peachy keen before they come to the realization that the pleasantry is all a façade. MMLP's Abrupt shift in tone drops the reader into a mailbox/slash/suitcase: As MMLP drags out the murderous plot for more than half of the storyline. What begins as a Happy Go Lucky Walk Around The Block suddenly becomes a Bloody Trail of deceit and debauchery. Ultimately, we're left wondering: Does MMLP fully address the topic? Would more Postman references throughout given the paper more weight? Perhaps a few eligible details: Such as, DNA being traced from the killers salvia used to close the envelopes? Or more intimate details... like the Postman Freaking Out: When he sees blood, only to realize...ITS A PAAPERCUT. What. Cheaters never win.. At the end of the day. It all left a rather Manilla taste in my mouth. Maybe she discovers cheating because SOMEBODY at the OFFICE couldn't keep there lips sealed? RETURN TO SENDER brokenhal0 '' The Great Capture Made By You''Glenn Montgomery, was one of the naturalists leading the boat tours off the coast of a small town called assumption parish rarely spoke about in Louisiana folklore a brackish marsh that radiated allege were indigenous blue fish live home to an ancient species of alligators that feed on the local kids spoken scythian myth the gators spawn every solar eclipse this phenomenon caused the creeks to create a tidal bayou shift on the day of the blood moon in the month of june they woke from crypts older head's put up fences hoping gators won't be breaking through some of the local's were to fickle some were just a lazy few that day Mr Montgomery told the local news there's been an abundance of alligators eating residents in backyards with uncovered pools .. One of the alligators killed a pet German Shepard who went to fetch he got to close to the waters edge by the time we got there all I seen was blood splattered on the ferns and hedge what surfaced next was a dog collar floating with some fur and thread once again the blue bayou claims another pet the mystery's that hide in those mangroves smell like death gators roll and twist among the dragonflies in the murky mist with the brightest lanterns at night you still couldn't see a step and if by accident you fell overboard the waters too cold to catch your breath while traveling downstream I watched a python constrict a javelina till it breaks it's neck till it's eyeballs inflated out it's misshapen head . Crocodiles floating through the driftwood duckweed wading dredge the tourist tremble taking pictures of gators 40 feet in length this goes out to all the creatures that the leeches bled prying gator eyes in the decaying vines plotting on whose getting taken next. Mr Montgomery pushed the motor under bamboo trees while cicadas wept our speed boat slowed down the overgrowth was way to dense a gators next meal while you paddle through creeks with glyph's depicted as gods in mayan sculpture wings of vultures with beaded necks the mayor announced a state of emergency to stop the foreseen events Mr Montgomery was to assemble a team of poachers to clean this mess . His name was Desmond Drowl his skin was desert brown a desperado whose ancestors roamed the blue bayous before they went barren during those endless drought's no brush was to big for his machete to cut it down he caught gators in the everglades wrestled with gators in his house dirty overalls with a straw hat stubby arms with a scarred back from many scraps with alligator enemies Steve Irwin energy in the main room of his cabin a dead crocodile was his centerpiece he was known as the only man strong enough to drink a beer while opening up a gators mouth in temperatures below 10 degrees. His ancestors were Knowledgeable of all gator myth Desmond was catching gators since they dragged his little sister away in the lake as kids at the age of 10 that event created a sacred sense before the cavemen crept the caiman came and went he used duct tape and old steak to bait them in some gators got away some gators don't forget the ones lucky to escape still got tape embraced in flesh Mr Montgomery gathers his team on hydro planes and jets it will give them no advantage once they enter blue bayous greater depths. Armed with weapons they make there way ahead Desmond spotted a nest of 20 gators sunbathing on a wayward cliff near the snapping turtles that's when a man named Raymond Griff sprayed his buckshot missing all the gators as they swam away into blue bayous bay of death the men got off the boat Mr Montgomery advise them to wade there steps one of the poachers stepped into quicksand and sunk up to his face and chest Screaming for help but the mud felt like a weighted vest suddenly a gator ran from the bushes and bit the poachers whole face and head the pressure from the bite exploded his brain to bit's the shade from the canopy made this afternoon dark as the day ahead. Another poacher named David Dread fired a round that ricocheted off the boats steel grated nets Desmond screamed stop!! To late the ricochet hit Mr Montgomery in his face and neck Mr Montgomery fell to floor blood pouring out his mouth holding his throat rolling in the sand struggling to take a breath his guttural croaks sounded like alligators making sex. Desmond Drowl let out a growl that made everyone turn around it's as if the sound he made melted away his flesh it burned away like a cigarette when the flame connects to everyone's surprise Desmond was a gator king from great decent half human half crocodile him and all the gators leapt feasting on the poachers leaving no evidence trace to check the poachers screams where so loud they made the birds in trees stay deaf the next day the state closed that decrepit place evacuating any people who tried to stay instead until there's no gators left till this day some say that's the reason why every june the waters of the blue bayou turn a tainted red... he used duct tape and old steak to bait them in some gators got away some gators don't forget Brokenhal0 takes a creative chomp out of Blue Bayou, here, with a Tantalizing Tale of Epic Proportions. Exuding "Steve Irwin Energy" Brokenhal0's cinematic voyage into the gulf stream of his consciousness creates a ever-fascinating embodiment of an alligator swimming through his opponents mindset. For Unbeknownst Reasons: Brokenhalo has an affinity and obsession for Alligators & Crocodiles. Randomly inserting these type of characters into his tales, but never quite like this at such great lengths: As we see here... His ability to Free Write in a uniquely distinct manner: is on full display here. A bombastic effort...brokenhal0 proves that he's no fluke, right here, with a deeply immersive/disturbing and gut wrenching tale. But Perhaps Brokenhalo should scale it back a bit? Create an Arc. Anchor the story somewhere. Would the tale create a bigger impact with a more concentrated effort? Time will tell if the ripple affects manifest into a big splash, as the season rows forward. Adverse James loved Andy more than the moon and the starsBut Andy loved James like a girl loves her dolls Manipulating and cold, whispering his orders again As the hair stands at attention on James’ seemingly porcelain skin With a tingle traveling up his spine like wayward travelers Nerves all a tangle, like his mangy beard and its straggled fur And every time Andy left, the walls howled and the room bled The phantom lingered at his earlobe, memories of a warm breath Was better than any kind of dreamscape he’d been spoon-fed By romantic subplots or bullseye! shots from a Cupid It was genuine stuff, every single whisper was the truth He didn’t know what the words were supposed to mean but still ate up all his food And every time Andy would visit, donning that white coat like a vision Those were the times this cold, small room didn’t feel like a prison The touch of escapism, it was ecstasy, or euphoria And even if Andy didn’t mean that way, James meant it for the both of em The inspection of his limbs, filled his head up with screams Hooked up to the machines, vitals displayed on the screens always careen James had a crush and what’s a crush if you don’t lose your head in the process? But like all facades, it had to Come to an end, it’s simply logic. … Andy entered James’ room, escaping the breeze in the corridor James sat cross legged on the bed awaiting command from his overlord Andy cracked the kind of grin a conman would wear on his lips The one that bares terrible intentions, misguiding, mischievous He said “the tests are all done James, you passed with excellent scores Now it’s time for the final run” James swore he seen the outlines of devilish horns Andy knelt at the bedside and whispered “attention” Finally James heard the entirety of his mystery sentence “Visceral. Napalm. Angelic.” With such cold resolve he choked up the words “Nefarious. Imitation. Recluse.” James squinted at the random assortment he heard “Definitive. Lambent. Intelligence.” Staring at the ceiling befuddled, his heart starts to flutter As he sees red and a rage consumes him when the last syllables uttered He wildly swings his arm to the bedside where Andy is knelt Squeezing his throat in his hand roughly Andy let out a yelp In a matter of seconds he’s on his feet, black eyes stare into the scientist’s soul He hoists his body above his head, grabs each end of his torso and PULLS Screams bellow through the facility and the scientist is pulled into halves Blood and entrails litter the floor as James takes a red bath With a crazed look in his artificial eyes he rushes the reinforced steel door and breaks it Let this be a lesson…be careful what you whisper…to sleeper agents Andy knelt at the bedside and whispered “attention” Finally James heard the entirety of his mystery sentence Adverse touches upon a bizarre, close encounter with Top Secret M.I.B here. The story has a real sci-fi feel and eerie charm about it that conveys a mystery, of sorts, as the two characters get into some sort of quarrel pertaining to the proximity of their close relationship. Adverse does a good job of keeping an awkward tension through and through through out, capitalizing on this claustrophobic picture, with a personalized approach. Perhaps Adverse could've deployed more of his five senses to really create a creepy dialogue between his protagonist and antagonist? A quote that comes to mind that about sums it up: "Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable." SEASON 1 THROWBACK WEEK 3 [3.1.13] DEAD MAN VS. PENT UP dead man yo - lose yourself. lose objectivism, presence and process lose possession. take a second out to treasure the Ontic texture and conscious. essential beyond. eons past neurologic scientific method moronic. it's hand-me-down, a secondhand concept take note. progress without a crisis is nonsense like phoenix wings on the horizon - psychophysic mirages the diplomatics, the doctorates. faith-based political mantras read a story, catch its metaphor, check. mission accomplished strip away an item's counterparts - their name, or their function perceptual substance. the bare possibility to make an assumption timeline, steady percussion, baseline for unfortunate days sex and power are a spirit. flesh is fortune and fame when worlds collide, we share a common core to sustain is it collective or connective? love, endorphins or pain discourses explain: we've covered wisdom's source with a brain unable to accept there's no one scoring our games tradition kicks when an inquiry of origin's raised we'll never reach the point there's nothing more to be gained or is it less to be gained? concealment setting the stage truth is sickness. masked by pride, a dextromethorphan phase what gives a requiem grace? what's essential to fact? how does Being formulate a proper question to ask? we've played telephone with knowledge. only whispers and time will determine how much Truth inside that message survives mystery resides, not in black-or-white insidious lies but the information we digest like biscuits and wine scientific reprise. our logos, superstitions and language knowledge and truthfulness, all an illusion - cynical, anxious rewind, reduce, reconsider. definition and form, your questions presuppose an answer. watch as wisdom is born. another day, another epoche - DEADMAN vs. Pent uP Pausing in action: face frozen as she looks flawless in fashion Causing more flashes as cameras around her seem drawn to her passions Crawling, then slowly falling and stauling while flossing her assets She even made plumber cleavage look like her drawers doing magic Gaudy and classless, but still her vision was more than all you'd imagine Tail tossing like rabitts, she went through holes so we'll be calling her Alice But now with her audience basking and giving applause for her laughing They love her because her profession's expressed in modelling madness A popular package; her entrances made businesses famous in minutes So Alice never pays her expenses, she just takes what she's given Still debating it with them like even moneyless, she makes a commission Enslaving her victims with the fakest incentives before escaping with pensions Being priviledged and rich made her such an inconsiderate bitch Because her visual gifts gave the littlest lifts of feeling ignorance blissed As this became her purpose in life to never work til she dies Going into stores and collecting from the surplus inside On her usual run, barely using her tongue to talk, they do what she wants Fendi, Prada, Dulche Gabana are just a few that she hunts Only using her funds to buy the secret snack foods that she loves But then Alice fooled with a blunt left in the astray of friends who used her car once She smoked a little in school before becoming a picturesque tool But that's when it was cool to blow dirt weed for a few cents with a crew This was a new feeling, lifting her mood within one hit that she blew Made her giggle, severely tickled by anything different she viewed Senses confused; she's never this hungry, stomach's steadily grumbling Getting her money as a model means eating less than a crumb a week Head feeling numb, she loses focus for a second or three And stressing to eat until she runs over something dead in the streets Incredibly freaked, stopping the car and saw his head by his feet Trails of blood next to him streaked with his intestines in strings She hectically screams wishing all of this was just in her dreams As she walks a little closer to see her image in Fresh magazine The guy is clinching to cover as if this was his lover This changed the her visions of her because her pic was blood covered... With her being so high, this image drew dreams in her mind Of her demonic image disguised in Prada... then she blinks some and cries Leaving the scene of the crime, but with a higher meaning of life With value in people that night that Alice can now see with her eyes Season 11 XIWK III XI WK III: Pharaohs Army (0-0) vs. symetrik (0-0) XI WK III: Eviction (1-1) vs. Master Rock (1-1) XI WK III: Pent uP (0-0) vs. dead man (0-0) XI WK III: sral (2-0) vs. brokenhal0 (2-0) XI WK III: MMLP (2-0) vs. Ender (0-0) XI WK III: Scar (0-2) vs. Dominate (0-2) XI WK III: Dope girl (0-1) vs. Mike Wrecka (0-0) XI WK III: Quill (1-1) vs. NYCSPITZ (1-1) XI WK III: Inno (0-0) vs. timeless (0-0) XI WK III: H4ZE (0-0) vs. MaCe (0-0) XI WK III: Cereal (2-0) vs. Civil Rawr xD (0-2) XI WK III: Adverse (1-1) vs. Mr. J (0-2) XI WK III: Universe (2-0) vs. Frank (0-0)
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Last edited by Frank; 12-19-2022 at 04:04 AM. |
12-19-2022, 04:07 AM | #2 |
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Good work
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12-19-2022, 04:33 AM | #3 |
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thxs!
I need a couple guys moving forward to assist me with these magazines. Whoever wants to submit something for the Season XI Theme: Feel Free! Anything Wrestler/Writer related works. I know we have some fans in the house who can contribute to the culture: Time to push the envelope!
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12-19-2022, 08:46 AM | #4 |
killa
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dope
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A-double scribble - A 19 th century euphemism for ass |
12-19-2022, 11:26 PM | #5 |
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thanks for the feed
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12-20-2022, 10:50 PM | #6 |
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12-21-2022, 04:55 PM | #7 |
low tide in serotonin bay
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Mr. J couldn’t beat my uninspired ass if he switched his consciousness with dead man’s and got cybernetic enhancements. Keep dreaming!
Thanks for mag |
12-23-2022, 01:27 PM | #8 | |
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Happy Holidays!
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12-23-2022, 04:37 PM | #9 |
killa
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omg i just clicked on the xmas clip fell in love happy night before christmas to all of new york and the hip hop community from australia..
yall created your own xmas guys.. i love yall so much.. i loved the poetry of charles dickons part.. dope
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A-double scribble - A 19 th century euphemism for ass |
12-26-2022, 09:57 AM | #10 |
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@Frank
Late Week III No-show Feed: http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=152255 @Master Rock I've pegged this one as decent by your standards. Not great, but not bad...You start out with such velvety and, at times, complex rhyme schemes then follow it up with a few dare I say "pedestrian" schemes: I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place where I sit... is my space, I have been searching for grace but she doesn't seem to acknowledge my face Contrast with the opening lines...just don't hit nearly AS hard as the opener. sign of a numb feeling I display emptiness because none I'm feeling Again, lazy wording at the end hurts the "impact" of the lines a bit. Really enjoyed most of the rest though!... Don't worry, just nitpicking/Motivating you for next week - when I hope you bring one of your better ones VS. someone who shows... http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=152256 @Scar Strong opener... good language/verbiage being used Adjusting to ways. Civilian life was but a memory away Great descriptive line. Really liked almost all of this. Closer would be my only knock, in that it seems an abrupt/concrete "Jolt" to the reader, of real-life closure of what's happening... Perhaps that is your intention, I just thought it took a tiny bit away of what was otherwise a nice and at times more abstract piece... I did notice that this piece was a bit different than some of your others, which often have developed characters and dialogue. It's good to switch it up sometimes, so I thought it refreshing.. Nice. Hope you get an opponent next week. http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=152254 @Adverse Thought the first stanza was by far the best. Not saying the second was bad I just thought it was a little less impactful and started with a difficult/tough rhyme IMO. Revealer third stanza (even tho you hint @it b4hand) is a LITTLE cliche, with the Musk angle but I think you pulled it off OK, tbh. All in all, a nice take. For the standards I have of you it's only a 6 or 7 out of 10...but it was still worth the read, for sure. Nice. Hope you get an opponent next week. |
12-26-2022, 07:01 PM | #11 | |
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Vote!
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12-28-2022, 12:58 PM | #12 | |
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..Passed the Present and Future.. |
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12-29-2022, 01:03 AM | #13 |
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XI
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