I don't want to fight - Page 2

theMuzzl3 · 09-12-2014, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Witty Wonka

I have a better grasp of the English language than 99% of people, facts...thanks tho.

I wasn't tryna diss you. I merely saw some flaws in the writings and I can't point them out now b/c I'm not going to read it again.

But, the overall message I was saying was that shit was tight, and I wished you had stayed in that tournament to destroy me.

Split · 09-12-2014, 01:43 PM

ITT Muzzl3 has never heard of poetic license

theMuzzl3 · 09-12-2014, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Split

ITT Muzzl3 has never heard of poetic license

now you gonna come at me again. Fuck off, dude. I'm not in the mood.

Every time you say some internet acronym like ITT I have to look it up just so I can be cool enough to understand you.

What you gonna do, ban me? Edit my posts some more so I look wacky?

Be my guest friend, I'm just here for fun, and I'm not looking to make enemies of anyone.

veritas · 09-12-2014, 01:56 PM

Solid retort

Witty · 09-12-2014, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theMuzzl3

I wasn't tryna diss you. I merely saw some flaws in the writings and I can't point them out now b/c I'm not going to read it again.

But, the overall message I was saying was that shit was tight, and I wished you had stayed in that tournament to destroy me.

:)

Certain · 09-12-2014, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theMuzzl3

damn* Witty, you got** some skills.

I wish you had not been replaced and killed me*** in that newbie tourney.

All though****, reading through...***** you have some serious flaws in writing English...****** not that that******* matters on this forum, obviously.

*capitalize the first word in a sentence, and use a comma after to indicate the address
**you have
***the incorrectly placed negative makes the combined phrasing confusing
****although
*****comma, not ellipsis
******no ellipsis
*******repeated words should be avoided

Witty · 09-12-2014, 02:40 PM

I don't even think it matters tbh, as long as your point is made, story told, message delivered, then it's mission acomplished. I do have an almost autistic understanding of the English language though, for when I need to get my 'proper writer' swag on.

theMuzzl3 · 09-12-2014, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Certain

*capitalize the first word in a sentence, and use a comma after to indicate the address
**you have
***the incorrectly placed negative makes the combined phrasing confusing
****although
*****comma, not ellipsis
******no ellipsis
*******repeated words should be avoided

You've burst my balloon. How rude!

Split · 09-13-2014, 12:57 AM

Your exasperation is the sweetest drug. I'm not a mod or an admin.

UnbornBuddha · 09-14-2014, 04:21 PM

This kicked off with an introspection of the anomalous contents that pervade your consciousness, and proceeded to meticulous examination of existence, all through the mental little voice that lives in the head.
The theme did have a tug of war due to thematic opposition. For example, at many times you dwindled yourself, by self I mean the narrator in this piece. Yet, at others you held yourself in the limelight of the lyrical podium.
Now there's nothing inherently problematic with creating this dual directionality, and personality of the narrator. But it does lead the reader astray with mixed messages, especially since this contrast did not help unravel the "tall and small" polarity you chose to explore.
It's almost as if one has to read the piece in segments due to the various emblematic indications each segment has. Instead of reflecting on the concatenation of it as a whole. It's almost like getting stuck in a chamber or hallway, but there's a whole labyrinth yet to be navigated.
Of course, progression always leads to a change and advancement of the topic. However, even with progression there is always the collaborative impact of the piece as all its topical factors weave and mesh together.
I don't mean to negate the effectiveness of this piece, it's quite nice. However, the developmental contrast of an ignoble persona to that of a higher than high panjandrum deviates the thematic crusade of the piece off course into pandemonium's land.
The writing itself is solid, however I do believe that if the written constituents were bonded together with more consistency than this will flourish into a symphony; rather than just a skilled individual playing beautifully but yet to find the purpose of it all.
From whence it began, to where it shall cease this process of rise and fall may appear different, nevertheless they share a common source.
If you are able to synthesize the commonality in all your lyrical song, then you will be a literary force to be reckon with.
Great read. Thank you...

09-12-2014, 01:43 PM	#22
Split . Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 8,898 Battle Record: 27-22 Rep Power: 85899398	ITT Muzzl3 has never heard of poetic license __________________ http://split8.yolasite.com

09-12-2014, 02:40 PM	#27
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,978 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 85235118	I don't even think it matters tbh, as long as your point is made, story told, message delivered, then it's mission acomplished. I do have an almost autistic understanding of the English language though, for when I need to get my 'proper writer' swag on. __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

09-13-2014, 12:57 AM	#29
Split . Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 8,898 Battle Record: 27-22 Rep Power: 85899398	Your exasperation is the sweetest drug. I'm not a mod or an admin. __________________ http://split8.yolasite.com

09-14-2014, 04:21 PM	#30
UnbornBuddha Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 1,008 Battle Record: 23-10 Champed - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 5 Rep Power: 23856379	This kicked off with an introspection of the anomalous contents that pervade your consciousness, and proceeded to meticulous examination of existence, all through the mental little voice that lives in the head. The theme did have a tug of war due to thematic opposition. For example, at many times you dwindled yourself, by self I mean the narrator in this piece. Yet, at others you held yourself in the limelight of the lyrical podium. Now there's nothing inherently problematic with creating this dual directionality, and personality of the narrator. But it does lead the reader astray with mixed messages, especially since this contrast did not help unravel the "tall and small" polarity you chose to explore. It's almost as if one has to read the piece in segments due to the various emblematic indications each segment has. Instead of reflecting on the concatenation of it as a whole. It's almost like getting stuck in a chamber or hallway, but there's a whole labyrinth yet to be navigated. Of course, progression always leads to a change and advancement of the topic. However, even with progression there is always the collaborative impact of the piece as all its topical factors weave and mesh together. I don't mean to negate the effectiveness of this piece, it's quite nice. However, the developmental contrast of an ignoble persona to that of a higher than high panjandrum deviates the thematic crusade of the piece off course into pandemonium's land. The writing itself is solid, however I do believe that if the written constituents were bonded together with more consistency than this will flourish into a symphony; rather than just a skilled individual playing beautifully but yet to find the purpose of it all. From whence it began, to where it shall cease this process of rise and fall may appear different, nevertheless they share a common source. If you are able to synthesize the commonality in all your lyrical song, then you will be a literary force to be reckon with. Great read. Thank you... Last edited by UnbornBuddha; 09-14-2014 at 04:34 PM.