insomniatic, she wrote - Page 2

big baby · 12-19-2013, 02:52 PM

I'd like to think my snippet about comfort zone in another thread about you is what also lead a little off kilter, but particularly well written deadman in this writing.

dead man · 12-21-2013, 04:17 PM

es posible

NYCSPITZ · 12-21-2013, 08:54 PM

yo lmaooo !!

CopyPat · 12-24-2013, 03:00 AM

blackness. great post dude.

hyper focused, isotopic, rhyme consultant, why
do i spark with twice the voltage only trying half the time

haha that was too sick. for some reason i have a feeling that was ur least favorite section in this verse though, but its dope.

always good, you know whatsup, not much more i can say that u havent heard already, keep posting!!

Certain · 12-25-2013, 01:19 AM

Like a lot of your recent verses, this verse is scatterbrained but occasionally beautiful. I like that you've incorporated a better blend of specificity and concrete imagery alongside the more aloof and conceptual writing.

As far as the words themselves, I didn't like the line "breakfast food is symbolistic of a happier time" because it preceded a much more effective and evocative line that relayed the exact same concept. There were one or two spots were the cadence shifted slightly, but for the most part that was right on your mark of expertise.

I am pretty sure there will be a topical tournament held to start 2014, and I hope you will join to refocus your writing a little outside your own world. Stuff like this and another recent one seem to reflect the stasis you have found in your writing. The content here seemed almost sad for itself, which is not an insult but rather a charge, that maybe it's time to turn another corner.

FR33KtheG33K · 12-25-2013, 03:31 AM

when i was reading this my mind was going bonkers, sporadic, but i like it .. just my cup of tea. good vocabulary too bruh, no filler..thats pure peruvian fishscale.

oats · 12-29-2013, 04:24 AM

breakfast food is symbolistic of a happier place

1. thanks for the cosign
2. symbolic?
3. dope verse, per usual

12-21-2013, 04:17 PM	#22
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	es posible __________________ Zack Wicks for president

12-24-2013, 03:00 AM	#24
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	blackness. great post dude. hyper focused, isotopic, rhyme consultant, why do i spark with twice the voltage only trying half the time haha that was too sick. for some reason i have a feeling that was ur least favorite section in this verse though, but its dope. always good, you know whatsup, not much more i can say that u havent heard already, keep posting!! __________________ My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete.

12-25-2013, 01:19 AM	#25
Certain Mad fucking dangerous. Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 12,066 Battle Record: 40-19 Champed - AOWL Season 3 - Art of Writing League (2x) Rep Power: 85899406	Like a lot of your recent verses, this verse is scatterbrained but occasionally beautiful. I like that you've incorporated a better blend of specificity and concrete imagery alongside the more aloof and conceptual writing. As far as the words themselves, I didn't like the line "breakfast food is symbolistic of a happier time" because it preceded a much more effective and evocative line that relayed the exact same concept. There were one or two spots were the cadence shifted slightly, but for the most part that was right on your mark of expertise. I am pretty sure there will be a topical tournament held to start 2014, and I hope you will join to refocus your writing a little outside your own world. Stuff like this and another recent one seem to reflect the stasis you have found in your writing. The content here seemed almost sad for itself, which is not an insult but rather a charge, that maybe it's time to turn another corner. __________________ I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.

12-25-2013, 03:31 AM	#26
FR33KtheG33K subterranean dweller Join Date: Dec 2013 Posts: 24 Rep Power: 0	when i was reading this my mind was going bonkers, sporadic, but i like it .. just my cup of tea. good vocabulary too bruh, no filler..thats pure peruvian fishscale. __________________ Padded Room Diaries: Entry One. Entry Two, Genius vs. Insanity Margin scribble Entry Three: Sporadic thoughts. Entry 4: Bars Attacks Rebel Yell Series: Rebel Yell

12-29-2013, 04:24 AM	#27
oats Steel Cut Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 5,084 Battle Record: 19-10 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Fight Night LXXXIV - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 79005428	breakfast food is symbolistic of a happier place 1. thanks for the cosign 2. symbolic? 3. dope verse, per usual __________________ You should be water

12-19-2013, 02:52 PM	#21
big baby obsessed Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: fucka idiyote Posts: 5,709 Battle Record: Faggot-1 Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2 Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2 - was candidate for gerber baby 3x - smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote" - smush beer on head and didn't cry - parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once - when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan - won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a - neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper - set neighbor house on fire lmao - fuck neighbor husband and wife - first fish caught resembled david ortiz - colin kaepernick - related to genghis khan - elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club - never lost game of hide and seek Rep Power: 8599682	I'd like to think my snippet about comfort zone in another thread about you is what also lead a little off kilter, but particularly well written deadman in this writing.

12-21-2013, 08:54 PM	#23
NYCSPITZ SYRACUSE Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,031 Battle Record: 31-37 Champed - Write Night II - Alias Topical Tournament Rep Power: 4743547	yo lmaooo !!