A Portait of Sri Lanka

StarFaggot · 07-17-2013, 10:25 PM

Sometimes even the sun catches the horizon off guard
Illuminating the land - all the mountains, pines & bazaars
the sun catches the horizon off guard, wow.. so even nature is half sleep when the sun comes

The warmth of the ground is a meditative magma, in essence, fate
each tectonic shift leaves a messy plate; appetite makes us levitate
WOW... that's wordplay, tectonic plates.. appetite makes us levitate I take that to mean we hungry for the quest of knowledge of what's in the air.. why we build planes and rockets

he stands in a burgundy tunic, earthly attunement is a purity movement
describing the garb of the man in the pic the multis are sick

The vocab in this piece is great, this flows well, its a nice topic. I think its tough because you may have tried to get overly creative and overly write towards the middle and end instead of letting it just be natural. The opening set such a standard for the rest of the verse that if you aren't as pinpoint accurate following through one starts to notice. Good piece though

07-17-2013, 10:25 PM	#13
StarFaggot Leave you flatlined. Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 5,108 Battle Record: 12-9 Champed - Site Diss 2013 - Tag Team Tournament III Rep Power: 0	Sometimes even the sun catches the horizon off guard Illuminating the land - all the mountains, pines & bazaars the sun catches the horizon off guard, wow.. so even nature is half sleep when the sun comes The warmth of the ground is a meditative magma, in essence, fate each tectonic shift leaves a messy plate; appetite makes us levitate WOW... that's wordplay, tectonic plates.. appetite makes us levitate I take that to mean we hungry for the quest of knowledge of what's in the air.. why we build planes and rockets he stands in a burgundy tunic, earthly attunement is a purity movement describing the garb of the man in the pic the multis are sick The vocab in this piece is great, this flows well, its a nice topic. I think its tough because you may have tried to get overly creative and overly write towards the middle and end instead of letting it just be natural. The opening set such a standard for the rest of the verse that if you aren't as pinpoint accurate following through one starts to notice. Good piece though __________________ [B][CENTER][SIZE="5"] It's Aero join me at RAPBATTLES[/SIZE][/CENTER][/B]