Even Sand Can Be Frozen In Time

Vulgar · 07-11-2013, 07:23 PM

[

Mike Wrecka · 07-11-2013, 08:36 PM

wow vulgar. sick verse. wish I would have been able to hammer mine out, was gonna get it done tonight but ya ive been busy. this was insane though.

Higher hydration, swollen cups, falls from the tree of life, it’s so corrupt
King Arthur quested for the holy grail without consideration that it was a coconut

my fav line. good stuff fam

Vulgar · 07-11-2013, 08:43 PM

@Mike Wrecka

thanks for the feedback. Just so you know, our collab is still on. I can write to a similar theme again. @Eviscerate

Spoken · 07-11-2013, 09:12 PM

@Vulgar I got you in a minute or so

NYCSPITZ · 07-12-2013, 01:11 PM

This was an exceptional collage of multifaceted safari streams taking a veiny course through the immaculate marshlands of Africa. A penultimate scream before that final ascension towards orion where our soul families await in jubilant ecstasy for our next earthly incarnation...superb understanding in this piece. I feel the marriage of your JFK transplant to the sandy knoll killing Phaoroahs with Alien grays through time travel was pronounced and your idiosyncratic yet biomechanical gravitation toward conspiracy inevitably led your egyptian hieroglyphs to this particular sand pyramid as per the guidlines of the god osiris. When the sand goddess spreads her legs vulgar will enter the eagle god at the apex and ravage her fertile womb with a transcendent pen forged out of the fires of mount doom.

StarFaggot · 07-12-2013, 01:22 PM

Will leave feed. PM me if I don't by tomorrow.

CopyPat · 07-12-2013, 03:42 PM

Vulgar your my boy but to be honest if this were virtually anyone else I would Never read this.. its just waaaaaaaaay too long and does not keep me interested. As I've told u many times I really never know what ur trying to say on pieces like these and I just don't really enjoy them(aside from the only part I can identify with which is your scheming and flow which we all know is always extremely good) Note: I Do wish you would attempt some MORE rhyming.. as in more syllables.. start rhyming 3,4,5,6 words at once, try whole sentences.. its very difficult. YOU could be very good at it, that would be Sick.. Although I think you believe that u are always doing a different topic and coming up with something original I tend to actually see these ancient/medieval/war/peasant/pharo/god shit as pretty much the same... I'de say you do it quite often. I do my same shit all the time but I know I'm doing it haha, I don't know if u do??? Anyways this is why I just usually leave ur pieces alone.. I always click them and read them, unless they're hella long like this one. But I don't usually feed unless it's something that I can actually relate too cause I don't want to take away from ur verses... Some people really enjoy them so hey that's fine. Me and My opinion?? It's just not my style, never will be. You wanted feed on this one.. yo got it. Just My 3 cents tho

PancakeBrah · 07-12-2013, 03:59 PM

Just read this as a bunch of non sequitirs and beautiful rhymes and left satisfied. Your style is very dense, figuratively and literally, and its a credit to you as a writer that its so readable. I'm at work so no quotes but I jotted down what I liked; egyptologist line conceptually, burning abyss rhyme and concept, coconut, afterlife midterm, the Christmas trays scheme, and late fees. Only negative was the Atlantis herds/outlandish words back to back rhyme. Felt clunky.

Don't know the point but the journey is lavish.

Spoken · 07-14-2013, 04:49 AM

@Vulgar

Why does the hierarchy matter so? Calico adage flows
Down from prose addled with salvaged bones and an amber glow
Egyptologist went to school off a Cambridge loan, studying by a lamp at home
What asphyxiated mantra lies beneath the sandy knoll of the Sphinx
which can’t be known through a glyph, since in summertime I fled
Is it justified to call me a necrophiliac if I elect to mummify the dead?
We’re all riding in Shambala express, and through the drums, Allah connects
Take the sum of rhymes I said it’ll compose a jambalaya spread
A chunk of Guyana bread, playing mancala out of a Kabbalah chest
Antiquity’s not a game, it’s why we gamble with Mayan heads in Malta chess
My seventh chakra’s blessed, even though I’m not sure it exists
Either my heartbeat’s rapidly increasing or my inner core’s a burning abyss

The fuck lines were dope. Smooth and funky rhyme scheme that I can honestly appreciate. The chakra line was bonkers as well and the necrophiliac mummify! Some nice content that was highly influential to the core of the reader or at least thru my point of view

Higher hydration, swollen cups, falls from the tree of life, it’s so corrupt
King Arthur quested for the holy grail without consideration that it was a coconut

Kinda threw me for a loop

I’d bet the historians never saw it coming, not even Canaanite interns
Everything you fail at in life is preparing you for the afterlife’s midterm
Combatants write under bedazzling phantom light, it’s Sabbath night at Ben-Hur’s
The message has been heard, when Petra pamphlets merged
& dead semantic slurs became decrepit, then resurrected, caressing Atlantis herds

WOW... This was just butter crisp honestly... Straight intelligence on the wording that made it highly descriptive and yet rhythmic with nice strides fam... Liked the internals but your content was just straight based man.... Props

Outlandish words from inside the chambers of Ishtar, where King Seti played
We’re all created to lend songs to virgin ears - to domesticate your mental state
Religion’s placed under Gimli’s blade; the face of my kin spawns into a gritty gray
Alert the gypsy race. They’re trying to turn the nation of Islam into a city state
It’s Megiddo Day, as Christians gauge their clips, grenades, and Christmas trays
Egyptian systems aren’t simple, with so many symbols eclipsed in gypsum jade
Soul collectors depicted trading rosary beads for first-born Jewish infant’s braids
No door to the desert, no food for miles, how does the spigot taste?

i just can't stop grinning honestly at the wit and then you incorporating the metaphorical grit on it with descriptive approaches and trims towards other events or characters merged into one hieroglyph of insightful and relic words. The gypsum blade was a fucking dope flip and scheme... Was bonkers vulg.

How do the rich and famous hog all the regal relics and call them upheavals?
Divine objects don’t belong in museums - they belong to the people
Considering “divine” means “of ancient significance” in times of the saga
My twelve tribes are fuel efficient, carpooling in Osiris’ Mazda
Please approach the endless coast with caution - there lies a silent armada
It's been over a fortnight in Malagra. Or midnight for marauders -
Hamonaptra’s hardly been mopped right, seems like a tourism issue
I’ve seen it… the spear of destiny is lodged inside the corpse of a Hindu
Court dismissals, library of Alexan-sangrea, catch us slinging the Buddha
Blowing rings from a hookah right outside the Kingdom of Judah
What if the pyramids were hiveminds used for linking stringent computers?
What do you honestly think you would do, huh?
Late fees for the book of revelations seem to be piling up, it’s tough business
I took a tugboat up the adjunct Isthmus with Thutmose’s young mistress
We passed by Moses on the Niles… what I loved most were the drugged kisses
It seems my cousins worked me, with more funds to aid this subtle journey
tried several interpretations of the Nubian language which I mumbled tersely
They all still translated to "Fuck you, Pay me, Infidel Scholar Who Wasn’t Worthy"

Honestly I can just quote the whole thing so I ain't gonna say too much any more but this whole verse was just dead from start to finish from the tip of your pen game SRS... The amount of internals and flips with the metaphorical surges was just sporadic and eclipsed different facets of critique and made this fucking work and blend like genuine silk man.

Props

Eviscerate · 07-18-2013, 01:27 AM

numerous quotables, but i shall point out my fav lines..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vulgar

How do the rich and famous hog all the regal relics and call them upheavals?
Divine objects don’t belong in museums - they belong to the people

^Preeeeach. that shit hit close to home with me. no need for explain.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vulgar

tried several interpretations of the Nubian language which I mumbled tersely
they all still translated to "Fuck you, Pay me, Infidel Scholar Who Wasn’t Worthy"

^lol that leaned me. perfect example of someone who is aware of how certain folks felt/feel about the subject at hand.

Anyway....

i've said it before, i'll say it again...

ur on another level bro

Darth Yoda · 07-18-2013, 02:07 AM

*wipes your feet with a cloth*

did it tickle

07-11-2013, 07:23 PM	#1
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Even Sand Can Be Frozen In Time [ Last edited by Vulgar; 12-03-2021 at 09:41 PM.

07-11-2013, 08:36 PM	#2
Mike Wrecka WOW Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,591 Battle Record: 29-25 Champed - Writing Challenge League I Rep Power: 82779338	wow vulgar. sick verse. wish I would have been able to hammer mine out, was gonna get it done tonight but ya ive been busy. this was insane though. Higher hydration, swollen cups, falls from the tree of life, it’s so corrupt King Arthur quested for the holy grail without consideration that it was a coconut my fav line. good stuff fam __________________ A.bove T.he R.est

07-11-2013, 08:43 PM	#3
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	@Mike Wrecka thanks for the feedback. Just so you know, our collab is still on. I can write to a similar theme again. @Eviscerate Last edited by Vulgar; 07-11-2013 at 09:34 PM.

07-11-2013, 09:12 PM	#4
Spoken ...DA GAWD... Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,355 Battle Record: 13-34 Rep Power: 5860413	@Vulgar I got you in a minute or so __________________ WP Po'ethics

07-12-2013, 01:22 PM	#6
StarFaggot Leave you flatlined. Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 5,108 Battle Record: 12-9 Champed - Site Diss 2013 - Tag Team Tournament III Rep Power: 0	Will leave feed. PM me if I don't by tomorrow. __________________ [B][CENTER][SIZE="5"] It's Aero join me at RAPBATTLES[/SIZE][/CENTER][/B]

07-12-2013, 01:11 PM	#5
NYCSPITZ SYRACUSE Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,031 Battle Record: 31-37 Champed - Write Night II - Alias Topical Tournament Rep Power: 4743547	This was an exceptional collage of multifaceted safari streams taking a veiny course through the immaculate marshlands of Africa. A penultimate scream before that final ascension towards orion where our soul families await in jubilant ecstasy for our next earthly incarnation...superb understanding in this piece. I feel the marriage of your JFK transplant to the sandy knoll killing Phaoroahs with Alien grays through time travel was pronounced and your idiosyncratic yet biomechanical gravitation toward conspiracy inevitably led your egyptian hieroglyphs to this particular sand pyramid as per the guidlines of the god osiris. When the sand goddess spreads her legs vulgar will enter the eagle god at the apex and ravage her fertile womb with a transcendent pen forged out of the fires of mount doom.

07-12-2013, 03:42 PM	#7
CopyPat Mic Check Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Calgary Alberta Canada Posts: 708 Battle Record: 13-10 Rep Power: 3742225	Vulgar your my boy but to be honest if this were virtually anyone else I would Never read this.. its just waaaaaaaaay too long and does not keep me interested. As I've told u many times I really never know what ur trying to say on pieces like these and I just don't really enjoy them(aside from the only part I can identify with which is your scheming and flow which we all know is always extremely good) Note: I Do wish you would attempt some MORE rhyming.. as in more syllables.. start rhyming 3,4,5,6 words at once, try whole sentences.. its very difficult. YOU could be very good at it, that would be Sick.. Although I think you believe that u are always doing a different topic and coming up with something original I tend to actually see these ancient/medieval/war/peasant/pharo/god shit as pretty much the same... I'de say you do it quite often. I do my same shit all the time but I know I'm doing it haha, I don't know if u do??? Anyways this is why I just usually leave ur pieces alone.. I always click them and read them, unless they're hella long like this one. But I don't usually feed unless it's something that I can actually relate too cause I don't want to take away from ur verses... Some people really enjoy them so hey that's fine. Me and My opinion?? It's just not my style, never will be. You wanted feed on this one.. yo got it. Just My 3 cents tho

07-12-2013, 03:59 PM	#8
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,480 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899407	Just read this as a bunch of non sequitirs and beautiful rhymes and left satisfied. Your style is very dense, figuratively and literally, and its a credit to you as a writer that its so readable. I'm at work so no quotes but I jotted down what I liked; egyptologist line conceptually, burning abyss rhyme and concept, coconut, afterlife midterm, the Christmas trays scheme, and late fees. Only negative was the Atlantis herds/outlandish words back to back rhyme. Felt clunky. Don't know the point but the journey is lavish.

07-14-2013, 04:49 AM	#9
Spoken ...DA GAWD... Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,355 Battle Record: 13-34 Rep Power: 5860413	@Vulgar Why does the hierarchy matter so? Calico adage flows Down from prose addled with salvaged bones and an amber glow Egyptologist went to school off a Cambridge loan, studying by a lamp at home What asphyxiated mantra lies beneath the sandy knoll of the Sphinx which can’t be known through a glyph, since in summertime I fled Is it justified to call me a necrophiliac if I elect to mummify the dead? We’re all riding in Shambala express, and through the drums, Allah connects Take the sum of rhymes I said it’ll compose a jambalaya spread A chunk of Guyana bread, playing mancala out of a Kabbalah chest Antiquity’s not a game, it’s why we gamble with Mayan heads in Malta chess My seventh chakra’s blessed, even though I’m not sure it exists Either my heartbeat’s rapidly increasing or my inner core’s a burning abyss The fuck lines were dope. Smooth and funky rhyme scheme that I can honestly appreciate. The chakra line was bonkers as well and the necrophiliac mummify! Some nice content that was highly influential to the core of the reader or at least thru my point of view Higher hydration, swollen cups, falls from the tree of life, it’s so corrupt King Arthur quested for the holy grail without consideration that it was a coconut Kinda threw me for a loop I’d bet the historians never saw it coming, not even Canaanite interns Everything you fail at in life is preparing you for the afterlife’s midterm Combatants write under bedazzling phantom light, it’s Sabbath night at Ben-Hur’s The message has been heard, when Petra pamphlets merged & dead semantic slurs became decrepit, then resurrected, caressing Atlantis herds WOW... This was just butter crisp honestly... Straight intelligence on the wording that made it highly descriptive and yet rhythmic with nice strides fam... Liked the internals but your content was just straight based man.... Props Outlandish words from inside the chambers of Ishtar, where King Seti played We’re all created to lend songs to virgin ears - to domesticate your mental state Religion’s placed under Gimli’s blade; the face of my kin spawns into a gritty gray Alert the gypsy race. They’re trying to turn the nation of Islam into a city state It’s Megiddo Day, as Christians gauge their clips, grenades, and Christmas trays Egyptian systems aren’t simple, with so many symbols eclipsed in gypsum jade Soul collectors depicted trading rosary beads for first-born Jewish infant’s braids No door to the desert, no food for miles, how does the spigot taste? i just can't stop grinning honestly at the wit and then you incorporating the metaphorical grit on it with descriptive approaches and trims towards other events or characters merged into one hieroglyph of insightful and relic words. The gypsum blade was a fucking dope flip and scheme... Was bonkers vulg. How do the rich and famous hog all the regal relics and call them upheavals? Divine objects don’t belong in museums - they belong to the people Considering “divine” means “of ancient significance” in times of the saga My twelve tribes are fuel efficient, carpooling in Osiris’ Mazda Please approach the endless coast with caution - there lies a silent armada It's been over a fortnight in Malagra. Or midnight for marauders - Hamonaptra’s hardly been mopped right, seems like a tourism issue I’ve seen it… the spear of destiny is lodged inside the corpse of a Hindu Court dismissals, library of Alexan-sangrea, catch us slinging the Buddha Blowing rings from a hookah right outside the Kingdom of Judah What if the pyramids were hiveminds used for linking stringent computers? What do you honestly think you would do, huh? Late fees for the book of revelations seem to be piling up, it’s tough business I took a tugboat up the adjunct Isthmus with Thutmose’s young mistress We passed by Moses on the Niles… what I loved most were the drugged kisses It seems my cousins worked me, with more funds to aid this subtle journey tried several interpretations of the Nubian language which I mumbled tersely They all still translated to "Fuck you, Pay me, Infidel Scholar Who Wasn’t Worthy" Honestly I can just quote the whole thing so I ain't gonna say too much any more but this whole verse was just dead from start to finish from the tip of your pen game SRS... The amount of internals and flips with the metaphorical surges was just sporadic and eclipsed different facets of critique and made this fucking work and blend like genuine silk man. Props __________________ WP Po'ethics

07-18-2013, 02:07 AM	#11
Darth Yoda Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 408 Battle Record: 6-2 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF Rep Power: 20182439	wipes your feet with a cloth did it tickle