Broken minded

EtH · 07-02-2013, 07:45 PM

There isn't a whole lot to say because it was just a "Crazy" topic. But I thought you did quite a good job with the rhyming and got your tone across to the reader. We were instantly dragged into the psychotic mind of the protagonist and got a strong image of what he was like.

I feel that you could definitely be a little bit more original, or if you're going to write something like this, at least have a storyline or plot to it, because that way a reader can get dragged in and feel like there is a "point" to the piece.

Nice work man. Keep writing.

07-02-2013, 07:45 PM	#26
EtH Erebus Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 435 Battle Record: 6-1 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 3537335	There isn't a whole lot to say because it was just a "Crazy" topic. But I thought you did quite a good job with the rhyming and got your tone across to the reader. We were instantly dragged into the psychotic mind of the protagonist and got a strong image of what he was like. I feel that you could definitely be a little bit more original, or if you're going to write something like this, at least have a storyline or plot to it, because that way a reader can get dragged in and feel like there is a "point" to the piece. Nice work man. Keep writing.