mexico city blues

zygote · 06-29-2013, 10:58 AM

All up to "the moon is luminously bright" was great. Perhaps it would have been stronger to end on corazon. Enjoyed how before that line there was only one use of "THE", when writing in this descriptive style playing with imagery etc using "the" - then an adjective noun seems to lessen writing effectiveness, makes things seem cliche even if they aren't like "the moon is luminously bright". You are really expanding your style shown here, the poetry is great really strong an striking, enjoyed it a lot.

06-29-2013, 10:58 AM	#5
zygote Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 501 Battle Record: 33-12 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Art of Writing League (3x) Rep Power: 737828	All up to "the moon is luminously bright" was great. Perhaps it would have been stronger to end on corazon. Enjoyed how before that line there was only one use of "THE", when writing in this descriptive style playing with imagery etc using "the" - then an adjective noun seems to lessen writing effectiveness, makes things seem cliche even if they aren't like "the moon is luminously bright". You are really expanding your style shown here, the poetry is great really strong an striking, enjoyed it a lot. Last edited by zygote; 06-29-2013 at 11:00 AM.