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Old 06-27-2013, 09:07 AM   #1
Dove Dozer
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I liked this. such a deep vocab on this. It was dope.

"Pilot of revelation, maneuvering beautifully
in a craft of vibrant vibrations and syntactical fluency
soaring fluidly through groupings of acoustical pressure points.."

I really liked this bit here... just a great syllable count and it made the flow perfect. rolled off the tongue.

but then with..

"Sonic ricochets bouncing off as a spiral to then conjoin"

I thought that line didn't work as well like the wording just felt wrong where "as a spiral..." came in .. I dunno.. Im just picky on shit, so I dont feed that often. lol, just so I don't sound like an ass all the time lol.. anyhow this was pretty dope all the way through.. vocab, multies etc. technically this was spot on. content was ill.

holler
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