WEEK THREE: EVICTION (1-0) vs BLUE BAYOU (1-0) EVICTION WINS 3-0

Adverse · 04-12-2022, 04:59 PM

Eviction:
I liked you carrying the rhyme scheme all the way through, that doesn’t necessarily always make the verse better but it’s an impressive feat. The way you wrote here’s reminiscent of the way I used to write. These kind of long winded lines that are bursting at the seams with imagery and detail, I really do like it. Thought this was a good story even though it sort of fell apart at the end in my opinion, there were instances where it bounced around too much for my liking but that’s just in my opinion. Overall this was good could be a little more concise story wise but that’s about it, good drop man looking like you’re in better shape then last season tbh

Blue:
I’m not going to come down on you as hard as Universe did I know this was kind of a last minute drop on your part, I applaud you for getting anything in at all. The thing I will say about meta-verses is if they’re not done in a semi-fresh way then they kind of fall flat, and I think this was too rushed to be able to do anything clever or fresh without it, you just dropped a couple of names and called it good there wasn’t really nothing to it. You’re dope and you’re an asset to this league ultimately everyone has off weeks or weeks they don’t have the time, that’s the reality of it. Thanks for finding a way to drop and for competing, I appreciate that. Hope you have more time this upcoming week

V/Eviction

04-12-2022, 04:59 PM	#1
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,752 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446146	Eviction: I liked you carrying the rhyme scheme all the way through, that doesn’t necessarily always make the verse better but it’s an impressive feat. The way you wrote here’s reminiscent of the way I used to write. These kind of long winded lines that are bursting at the seams with imagery and detail, I really do like it. Thought this was a good story even though it sort of fell apart at the end in my opinion, there were instances where it bounced around too much for my liking but that’s just in my opinion. Overall this was good could be a little more concise story wise but that’s about it, good drop man looking like you’re in better shape then last season tbh Blue: I’m not going to come down on you as hard as Universe did I know this was kind of a last minute drop on your part, I applaud you for getting anything in at all. The thing I will say about meta-verses is if they’re not done in a semi-fresh way then they kind of fall flat, and I think this was too rushed to be able to do anything clever or fresh without it, you just dropped a couple of names and called it good there wasn’t really nothing to it. You’re dope and you’re an asset to this league ultimately everyone has off weeks or weeks they don’t have the time, that’s the reality of it. Thanks for finding a way to drop and for competing, I appreciate that. Hope you have more time this upcoming week V/Eviction