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Old 08-31-2021, 09:18 AM   #8
Cereal
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Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 859
Battle Record: 1-6



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Creativity-- objective 3/5 "The atmosphere in him greets an eerie and damp ghost
on the spot next to some leaves, under the lamp post."

all in all it is a pretty flushed out story of a world at war, but the capture of the child character is what does it..

Entertainment-- objective 4/5 "Picked up a stick, then walked next to the street
along with his bag, teddy, gums and some sweets."

i loved the word gums followed with sweets it just pops, pretty entertaining.. just the characters inner termoil is what does it..

Flow-- objective - 3/5 "Like clockwork Tammy cheated on her spouse.
Too scared of leaving, she needed their house."

it was tight from out the gate /cheating/leaving - house spouse - with short lines in general..

Rhyme Scheme-- objective - 3/5 "Tick…

“Bye, hun! I’ll be back in 3 weeks!”, says Mark,
and gave her a kiss void of any hints of a spark.

Tock…"

broken and all, it really showed some creativity and shone in this category..

Consistency/Topic-- obective - 4/5 "he grabs the teddy to secure the evidence that’s within."

dont get me wrong universe was a 4/5 on topic and it was a hard call both dropped hot..

Literary Devices (alliteration, assonance, allusion, etc..) -- objective - 3/5 "The engine roars in the distance, tires are screeching.
His striped tee and shorts vibrates"

his structure was just that lil bit tighter this battle was much closer then i am making it seem..

Emotion-- universe - 2/5 "Counterparts endure a cell so they can take a battery charge
Was once courted for having a backbone, then they had me disbarred"

i think this both artists might have swung in a 3/5 but yeh just snuck this one in with the internal you really swung hard this is nice having a backbone before the disbarred drop was cool, you had alot of these lil didies

Imagery-- objective - 3/5 "Got on the roof of the shed,
then to the direction the wind blow."

solid direction is where these images were put, very cool..


vote = objective

very close battle i loved the lars drop it came down to rhyme structure and how tight the imagery was, one just hit harder then another.. gl guys
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