2 Zygote vs. 3 Red Glare [Red Glare Advances 5-2]

Soulstice · 06-21-2013, 06:16 PM

red glare - flow was tight. didnt like the use of the word chronic in the opening bars though. the topic was flipped interestingly, it kept me going and i guess the literal take on it in the end was nice, and being lead to thinking it was some supernatural method that would cure her until we find its acupuncture. the deceit was done nicely. the character development was pretty cool too, between the mother and the doctor, and the marathon bit, a lot was done to them in a very small amount of space

zygote - ok. so you wrote about particles, and how that there exists certain particles that dont play by the rules and how strange that is. a quick google search shows you know what youre talking about which is impressive in its own right, but once it comes down it i just wasnt remotely enthralled. i was looking for a metaphor like in ur paperclip piece which i really enjoyed but i just couldnt find one. "amazing isnt it" i guess, but id rather be lectured on the subtleties rather than have them rhymed to me in a forum which allows for any sort of topic to be discussed.

v - red glare, solely for enjoyment value although i think his technical aspects were also better.

06-21-2013, 06:16 PM	#6
Soulstice native system Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 387 Battle Record: 18-21 Champed - Short-Verse Topical Rep Power: 4453411	red glare - flow was tight. didnt like the use of the word chronic in the opening bars though. the topic was flipped interestingly, it kept me going and i guess the literal take on it in the end was nice, and being lead to thinking it was some supernatural method that would cure her until we find its acupuncture. the deceit was done nicely. the character development was pretty cool too, between the mother and the doctor, and the marathon bit, a lot was done to them in a very small amount of space zygote - ok. so you wrote about particles, and how that there exists certain particles that dont play by the rules and how strange that is. a quick google search shows you know what youre talking about which is impressive in its own right, but once it comes down it i just wasnt remotely enthralled. i was looking for a metaphor like in ur paperclip piece which i really enjoyed but i just couldnt find one. "amazing isnt it" i guess, but id rather be lectured on the subtleties rather than have them rhymed to me in a forum which allows for any sort of topic to be discussed. v - red glare, solely for enjoyment value although i think his technical aspects were also better.