Un-beautiful Life

Universe · 04-25-2021, 02:55 PM

This was really good. Great, even. Reminded me of Nas at certain points. Flow was amazing, superb word choice, etc. Probably my fav I've seen from you. The beginning was strong but nowhere near as deep as the rest - It kept getting better...

Highlights:

"building a vault, concealiing the thoughts she wouldn't share
Cause it was easier to hide, then to find people who cared"

"Met the world at the peek of her highs, she cried
Cause a drug abusive life's one of the weakest designs
Peoples decline, the hypodermic needles, the crime
The creature inside, that let'er know'er dreams weren't alive"

Crazy. Would love to see you in a topical league, see how you'd do on a weekly basis with varying subject matter... Anyway, loved this

04-25-2021, 02:55 PM	#2
Universe Everything's Connected Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: Niagara Falls, Canada Posts: 1,001 Battle Record: 19-8 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League(2x) - GWL Picture challenge(2x) - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 10178706	This was really good. Great, even. Reminded me of Nas at certain points. Flow was amazing, superb word choice, etc. Probably my fav I've seen from you. The beginning was strong but nowhere near as deep as the rest - It kept getting better... Highlights: "building a vault, concealiing the thoughts she wouldn't share Cause it was easier to hide, then to find people who cared" "Met the world at the peek of her highs, she cried Cause a drug abusive life's one of the weakest designs Peoples decline, the hypodermic needles, the crime The creature inside, that let'er know'er dreams weren't alive" Crazy. Would love to see you in a topical league, see how you'd do on a weekly basis with varying subject matter... Anyway, loved this __________________ ..Passed the Present and Future.. Last edited by Geno; 05-15-2021 at 07:41 PM.