WEEK NINE CHAT

[Adverse]

Battles will be up soon

[sral]

@Adverse put me in


daddy’s home

[Diablo]

@YDK reminiscing on his loss I see

[Objective]

Originally Posted by sraL

@Adverse put me in


daddy’s home

And I never signed out. @Adverse can put us against each other

[Adverse]

Originally Posted by Objective

And I never signed out. @Adverse can put us against each other

Sorry got mixed up

Will put you against me

[Objective]

Originally Posted by Adverse

Sorry got mixed up

Will put you against me

Cool, np. Gl :)

[Master Rock]

Madd respect to Halo dropping... I'm going to begin writing tomorrow.

[Diablo]

ready @fraze

it’s snowing here, signals bad

may as well ask for the ext just to make sure i can show

[fraze]

ext is cool.

[Master Rock]

I will be dropping tonight. I asked adverse for an extension yesterday, @brokenhal0, I won't leave you hanging.

[Adverse]

Guess everybody no showing this week smh

[fraze]

I was struggling to write to this topic tbh. I dropped what I have but if Lars drops late I would like to be able to edit an alt ending.

[fraze]

@Diablo - late drop + 2x my line count. Where do we do that at?

It's cool if you want to slide in late but edit that shit down.
Otherwise I'm going to have to do what you would do if an opponent dropped their verse 7 hrs late.

[Diablo]

I had messaged @Adverse on Discord and made him aware.

My complete verse was already done. There’s heavy snow here, the site was inaccessible, that’s why I showed Adverse I had my ish written. It was a situation out of my hands unfortunately. I show up every week, on time, and post.

Edit your verse if you want. Best of luck.

[Master Rock]

I really want to edit my verse. I got a few issues with wording again ugh!!! Yo, @brokenhal0, can I fix the error with your permission so I don't get DQ'ed? I swear I will not add to my verse just fix a sentence or two.

[Master Rock]

Originally Posted by Adverse

Guess everybody no showing this week smh

Everyone showed. Have a little faith. But D was made late...dude must be on tea time.

[Diablo]

lmao can confirm I’m on tea time, but it’s also snowing heavily here. I was snowed in today.

[Pharaohs Army]

@Adverse @Bad Lieutenant
Sorry. Couldn't think of anything for the pic and then fell asleep early by accident. I guess I'll sign out for next week since i no-showed.

[Master Rock]

Originally Posted by Pharaohs Army

since i no-showed.

I could have sworn that you dropped...Man, I'm in the twilight zone.

[Diablo]

@Bad Lieutenant The image provided may have been a difficult one for me to write to; I look and it and my initial thoughts lean towards something along the lines of “life imitates art, art imitates life” or to do with an artist trying to create something that lifts itself off the canvas and affixes itself firmly into the readers mind - taking hold - consuming him even. It doesn’t sound all that far removed from essentially what we do here each week, right? Yet the problem is (for me at least) that the very scenario I’ve just described has been done in numerous ways by various writers previously and I would be looking to avoid that obvious trope personally. A second idea that comes to mind for me is then something along the lines of Frankenstein’s Monster, his life’s work finally coming to fruition with disastrous consequences for her creator. It could be spun numerous ways but as most members of the AOWL in this scenario would opt to take the role of the male artist lead, a more interesting side for the story to be told from could be the point of view of the female painting itself - telling its tale of how it came to be, trapped maybe, until finally making its bid for escape. Maybe it hated the human person after all and was forced to play along in his wicked game until such a time that it could really be free? Anyway, I just thought I would give you an insight into the thought process of mine behind immediately viewing the topic image as it might give you an idea of how I could have approached this in a couple of different ways. I don’t believe I’ve read a great deal from you so far as you’ve been no-showed twice in the battles I’ve read so far. Let’s see how you did.

I think the opening lines invested a great deal of emotion into your lead characters predicament, there was definitely a more spoken word-esque edge to this work immediately after that, especially the non-rhyming segment which I felt hit with more feeling because it was so raw. It was a risk, for sure, but a calculated one and also one I thought worked well because it gave it the impact you were looking for in terms of its delivery and execution before you brought it back to a more lineal rhyming lined couplet. I think the addition of the short non-rhyming section showed a confidence and comfortability in your own writing that is lacked by a lot, it’s often overlooked but a lot of lesser writers wouldn’t even attempt something like that. It may be a minor thing but small flourishes like that are what separate the wheat from the chief. It shows your deft pen game and versatility. This reminded me of Scar at certain points, actually, which is a compliment in itself.

The games that we play, only when you're winning however...

This one was nice, to me, because I can certainly relate to that very scenario described in so few words here.

I noticed you brought back a similar non-rhyming form throughout the second section, and again momentarily toward the final third. It’s a shame you’ve been no-showed twice in successive matches I’ve read because I think it may detract you from wanting to stick around longer term and partake here. You definitely have some potential, but I don’t think we’ve seen the best of you yet.

Hopefully you stick around for the long haul.

Stay upward my friend.

Keep that pen moving.