WEEK FIVE: YDK 0-1 VS FRAZE 0-0 FRAZE WINS

Adverse · 12-30-2020, 02:06 PM

You know for a pair of short verses there was a lot to be said between the two of you

Fraze - believe this is the first time I read a topical of yours and I’m thoroughly impressed. Your writing was layered and had a lot of weight to it, I was thrown off too by the double use of inspiration (if you ever find yourself in the situation of repeating yourself try and find a synonym) other than that I enjoyed the rest of the piece your multi syllable rhyming matches up well and makes for a smooth read all the way through . Very good imagery and descriptive words. Enjoyable piece even if it was rushed

YDK - know you’re a talented writer man and though this did feel a little rushed I’m glad you got a verse in this week. There were some cool bits of imagery here but I felt that the narrative lacked a little bit because of the lackadaisical approach to it, just didn’t feel like you were following a storyline just venting which is cool but we need something a little more substance heavy and topic related, I did like the correlation with being free in the last bit though
Overall Fraze had the stronger verse this week, short but sweet and he got it done

V/FRAZE

12-30-2020, 02:06 PM	#9
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,752 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446146	You know for a pair of short verses there was a lot to be said between the two of you Fraze - believe this is the first time I read a topical of yours and I’m thoroughly impressed. Your writing was layered and had a lot of weight to it, I was thrown off too by the double use of inspiration (if you ever find yourself in the situation of repeating yourself try and find a synonym) other than that I enjoyed the rest of the piece your multi syllable rhyming matches up well and makes for a smooth read all the way through . Very good imagery and descriptive words. Enjoyable piece even if it was rushed YDK - know you’re a talented writer man and though this did feel a little rushed I’m glad you got a verse in this week. There were some cool bits of imagery here but I felt that the narrative lacked a little bit because of the lackadaisical approach to it, just didn’t feel like you were following a storyline just venting which is cool but we need something a little more substance heavy and topic related, I did like the correlation with being free in the last bit though Overall Fraze had the stronger verse this week, short but sweet and he got it done V/FRAZE