WILDCARD WEEK: #7 UserName VS #10 Ajax USERNAME ADVANCES

[UPN Zuch]

Welcome to the NBL PLAYOFFS

Rules

Line limit

Minimum: 10

Maximum: 16

Verses due 11:59pm PACIFIC December 18, 2020 (Friday)

THERE ARE NO EXTENSIONS FOR WILDCARD WEEK. DO NOT ASK.


Good luck, gentlemen

[UserName]

AHOY, FAGGOT

16.

[UserName]

If you do law like you battle, I bet there’s zero objections met
With all the obscure references jurors have to sit on the bench and pretend to get
Your lawyering is shit, and all that skill is sort of worthless
I wish there was a statute of limitations on how long you’ll drop boring verses

Listen Jeremy,
I'm letting these guns off 'til ur body melts from friction
& they leave a neat little hole in the wall like a Yelp description
Dissing for this round, but at least after we’re bros
When Ajax raps, there’s wax after every line like Madam Tussauds
You struggle, while I’m known for droppin' mortar rounds
And I can have that done twice like the Law & Order sound
Coming at me? don't approach this bear in his cave
Cuz if any of your lawsuits get tied up, it’s the one you're wearing today
He’s getting killed quick; you’re a disaster with burners
And if I ever rack your brain, it's because I collect things after a murder
Sorry to put your gov’t out there, but let the tie-in sting
Cuz one more word and I’m giving Jeremy a Scar like the Lion King

[Ajax]

Come here, you huge, jolly mufucca you…

I’m sorry to drop you. Fat boy… Noone wanna get violent;
But, this ain’t fat shaming. It’s the Hulk ‘body slamming’ Andre the Giant.
You’re gross and obscene. It’s over; it seems…
This was an uphill battle from the start… and we BOTH know what that means…
Everyone loves you… This chump’s never frightening;
Your battles got no ‘hype or tension,’ but we ALL see your blood pressure spiking…
My shit ALWAYS shines. Even my worst is a feature…
At best, you’re off and on. Epileptics read your verse and get seizures.
Every body’s a temple. Your’s is shaped like a Buddha.
I hit below the belt. Body blows shakin’ your FUPA.. until your whole frame’s in a stupor.
Plus, your lady’s a disproportionate size…
That bitch hates fireworks and can sense forming storm fronts before they arrive.
I still gave her all 12. A coup de grace to her box left her cooter rocked;
She got more ‘mind-blowing footage’ than the film Zapruter shot…
You’re done, with a quick flurry….
Your best shit is a Rocky horror… and I’m Clubber Lang... You’re Tim Curry.

Peace.

[Hush]

Ajax had that off and on line which was lotb
He also had the fupa line which was dogshit to be scrapped from a shoe


User best line was a wax/wack wp

So he lost


Hype or tention was scout bad

V Ajax

[fraze]

Originally Posted by UserName

If you do law like you battle, I bet there’s zero objections met
With all the obscure references jurors have to sit on the bench and pretend to get
nice concept. punch is a little flat but still think i like this
Your lawyering is shit, and all that skill is sort of worthless
I wish there was a statute of limitations on how long you’ll drop boring verses
this is funny
I'm letting these guns off 'til ur body melts from friction
& they leave a neat little hole in the wall like a Yelp description
this is ok. could have set this up better
Dissing for this round, but at least after we’re bros
When Ajax raps, there’s wax after every line like Madam Tussauds
concept is cool. don't like the way you angled the punch
You struggle, while I’m known for droppin' mortar rounds
And I can have that done twice like the Law & Order sound
this is cool
Coming at me? don't approach this bear in his cave
Cuz if any of your lawsuits get tied up, it’s the one you're wearing today
nah
He’s getting killed quick; you’re a disaster with burners
And if I ever rack your brain, it's because I collect things after a murder
this is nice. would be even better if you set up rack your brain
Sorry to put your gov’t out there, but let the tie-in sting
Cuz one more word and I’m giving Jeremy a Scar like the Lion King
reference is too straight forward.

Quotes: statute of limitations, hole in the wall, Law & Order, rack your brain
Close: obscure references, Madam Tussauds

Nice verse. Creative concepts, few misses. You are one of the most well rounded battlers in the league, punches, wording, and humor are all things you do well.

Originally Posted by Ajax

I’m sorry to drop you. Fat boy… Noone wanna get violent;
But, this ain’t fat shaming. It’s the Hulk ‘body slamming’ Andre the Giant.
this doesn't connect for me. in what context would the comic book character hulk interact with a dead pro wrestler from the 80s. i have no clue, but thats what setup is for
You’re gross and obscene. It’s over; it seems…
This was an uphill battle from the start… and we BOTH know what that means…
this is kinda fire
Everyone loves you… This chump’s never frightening;
Your battles got no ‘hype or tension,’ but we ALL see your blood pressure spiking…
cool
My shit ALWAYS shines. Even my worst is a feature…
At best, you’re off and on. Epileptics read your verse and get seizures.
haha this is nice
Every body’s a temple. Your’s is shaped like a Buddha.
I hit below the belt. Body blows shakin’ your FUPA.. until your whole frame’s in a stupor.
funny and cool rhyme scheme but don't see a punch
Plus, your lady’s a disproportionate size…
That bitch hates fireworks and can sense forming storm fronts before they arrive.
not feeling this
I still gave her all 12. A coup de grace to her box left her cooter rocked;
She got more ‘mind-blowing footage’ than the film Zapruter shot…
this is cool
You’re done, with a quick flurry….
Your best shit is a Rocky horror… and I’m Clubber Lang... You’re Tim Curry.
this is too obscure for me to care about looking it up

Quotes: uphill battle, hyper tension, seizures, zapruder
Close: --

This was a nice verse man. Had a several hard hitting punches esp in the middle section of the verse. You're using a lot of niche references in your concepts. Be careful because those are hit or miss. FUPA and closer don't have enough impact without something extra.

Vote: UserName This is probably the battle of the week for this round of the playoffs. Props to both of you guys for showing up and dropping nice verses. I thought UserName would walk away with it after reading his verse, but Ajax made this battle very close and could have won with a few adjustments to his concept selection.

[El Muffin]

If you do law like you battle, I bet there’s zero objections met
With all the obscure references jurors have to sit on the bench and pretend to get
( I feel like this is just an opener to set the tone of what’s to come . Nothing worth quoting . Just your atypical “ lemme talk to em “ opener “
Your lawyering is shit, and all that skill is sort of worthless
I wish there was a statute of limitations on how long you’ll drop boring verses
( same as above kinda but less bland )
Listen Jeremy,
I'm letting these guns off 'til ur body melts from friction
& they leave a neat little hole in the wall like a Yelp description
( ha I kinda like this concept fr . It’s very original . Kind of at an impasse whether it’s wuoteable or not cause it’s not nearly as potent as it .. should? Be .. I mean your just saying your gun will leave a nice little hole in the wall . Kinda blah but I love how original the concept is ,)
Dissing for this round, but at least after we’re bros
When Ajax raps, there’s wax after every line like Madam Tussauds
( wp antiquated asl but the “ after every line / madam Tussaud’s somewhat helps this . I like it kinda)
You struggle, while I’m known for droppin' mortar rounds
And I can have that done twice like the Law & Order sound
( you dropping mortar rounds twice ? Eh . I see what you did there w/ the DUN DUN but it isn’t resonating much )
Coming at me? don't approach this bear in his cave
Cuz if any of your lawsuits get tied up, it’s the one you're wearing today
( this was smooth . Your wording props an otherwise bland concept up )
He’s getting killed quick; you’re a disaster with burners
And if I ever rack your brain, it's because I collect things after a murder
( ha, above average )
Sorry to put your gov’t out there, but let the tie-in sting
Cuz one more word and I’m giving Jeremy a Scar like the Lion King
( nah )



I’m sorry to drop you. Fat boy… Noone wanna get violent;
But, this ain’t fat shaming. It’s the Hulk ‘body slamming’ Andre the Giant.
( Yeesh a wasted opportunity of an opener . Similar to users but worse )
You’re gross and obscene. It’s over; it seems…
This was an uphill battle from the start… and we BOTH know what that means…
( ok this was pretty good .. basic but smooth )
Everyone loves you… This chump’s never frightening;
Your battles got no ‘hype or tension,’ but we ALL see your blood pressure spiking…
( the wp works. Not a huge fan however . I knew exactly where you were going with this before I read the rest . Very predictable tie in . It’s not bad tho. It’s ok )
My shit ALWAYS shines. Even my worst is a feature…
At best, you’re off and on. Epileptics read your verse and get seizures.
( noiiice. Very original as well never seen that angle on off n on before )
Every body’s a temple. Your’s is shaped like a Buddha.
I hit below the belt. Body blows shakin’ your FUPA.. until your whole frame’s in a stupor.
( this makes me want to discount any quoteable you’ve had thus far bro lmaooop )
Plus, your lady’s a disproportionate size…
That bitch hates fireworks and can sense forming storm fronts before they arrive.
( I see what you did there lmao . Cows. But the fireworks part I was unaware of . This ok/cool )
I still gave her all 12. A coup de grace to her box left her cooter rocked;
She got more ‘mind-blowing footage’ than the film Zapruter shot…
( rather played . Not that angle though . Wasn’t particularly fond of this . It’s just kinda there )
You’re done, with a quick flurry….
Your best shit is a Rocky horror… and I’m Clubber Lang... You’re Tim Curry.
( nah )

Wow hold up this is ridiculously hard to vote on

Ajax had lotb for sure but had a couple bars that he really could of done without whilst user started off talking to him for 4 bars & then stayed relatively more abv average .. I have to use a different system to vote on this hold up I’ll brb


Edit: mmkay I have it at 45-42

I used a number scale .. n rated each line 1-10

I’ll tell you this much . The fupa lime hurt your chances a bit. Had that not been the ultimate stinker that it was you’d probably take this imo .. but the same could be said for users first 4 lines . Just for scaling .. I’ll give y’all an example.. fupa got a 1 . Users closer got a 2 .

But yeah

45-42. I got user winning this by a ball hair

V/ user

[UPN Zuch]

Need more votes here.

[iSpaz]

AHOY FAGGOT, statute kinda, Hole in the wall, rack ur brain

Vs

Uphill, Hype, epilectics

V/ajax. epileptics was lotb. good shit for both.

[Adverse]

I’m torn here both verses was good in their own respect and had some bad bars as well. I mean User had a couple heavy hitters but most of it felt phoned in (lion king - scar line felt super played and old to me) so I guess it comes down to the lines i actually enjoyed

User had: yelp, law and order was okayish, rack your brain was cool

Ajax has: epileptic, uphill battle was funny

Honestly thought Ajax had it when I read User’s verse but he wasted a lot of opportunities too. Know you guys are buddies but I’d of liked to see more viscosity tbh, just felt like y’all were staying away from the kill shot

As it stands, User had less noticeable misses and maybe a quotable more so I’ll lean his way

V/User

[Sharp]

If you do law like you battle, I bet there’s zero objections met
With all the obscure references jurors have to sit on the bench and pretend to get
it's an idea that seems funny but not a fan of the execution
Your lawyering is shit, and all that skill is sort of worthless
I wish there was a statute of limitations on how long you’ll drop boring verses
closer but not quite

Listen Jeremy,
I'm letting these guns off 'til ur body melts from friction
& they leave a neat little hole in the wall like a Yelp description
this is actually pretty cool to me. More funny than anything else but that helps it work imo
Dissing for this round, but at least after we’re bros
When Ajax raps, there’s wax after every line like Madam Tussauds
okay
You struggle, while I’m known for droppin' mortar rounds
And I can have that done twice like the Law & Order sound
done twice/law and order is an awesome idea but this winds up being confusing. Mortaring him... Twice?
Coming at me? don't approach this bear in his cave
Cuz if any of your lawsuits get tied up, it’s the one you're wearing today
could take or leave it
He’s getting killed quick; you’re a disaster with burners
And if I ever rack your brain, it's because I collect things after a murder
ehh
Sorry to put your gov’t out there, but let the tie-in sting
Cuz one more word and I’m giving Jeremy a Scar like the Lion King
okay



I’m sorry to drop you. Fat boy… Noone wanna get violent;
But, this ain’t fat shaming. It’s the Hulk ‘body slamming’ Andre the Giant.
okay
You’re gross and obscene. It’s over; it seems…
This was an uphill battle from the start… and we BOTH know what that means…
lol okay
Everyone loves you… This chump’s never frightening;
Your battles got no ‘hype or tension,’ but we ALL see your blood pressure spiking…
works, but isn't crazy
My shit ALWAYS shines. Even my worst is a feature…
At best, you’re off and on. Epileptics read your verse and get seizures.
okay
Every body’s a temple. Your’s is shaped like a Buddha.
I hit below the belt. Body blows shakin’ your FUPA.. until your whole frame’s in a stupor.
eh
Plus, your lady’s a disproportionate size…
That bitch hates fireworks and can sense forming storm fronts before they arrive.
ehhh
I still gave her all 12. A coup de grace to her box left her cooter rocked;
She got more ‘mind-blowing footage’ than the film Zapruter shot…
could take or leave this. Would work better out loud. Wanna say I've seen it before, but can't place it, so I should shut up
You’re done, with a quick flurry….
Your best shit is a Rocky horror… and I’m Clubber Lang... You’re Tim Curry.
not feeling it either


This is so close. I think user's misses were better, but Ajax had one more punch I would say landed. To be clear, when your bars hit, they were good. Would've liked to see fewer lines overall though.

V/Ajax I guess

[dull boy]

If you do law like you battle, I bet there’s zero objections met
With all the obscure references jurors have to sit on the bench and pretend to get
jab
Your lawyering is shit, and all that skill is sort of worthless
I wish there was a statute of limitations on how long you’ll drop boring verses
lazy butt jab

Listen Jeremy (spoke in class today)
I'm letting these guns off 'til ur body melts from friction
& they leave a neat little hole in the wall like a Yelp description
liked the punch set up was bleh
Dissing for this round, but at least after we’re bros
When Ajax raps, there’s wax after every line like Madam Tussauds
cool execution bad line
You struggle, while I’m known for droppin' mortar rounds
And I can have that done twice like the Law & Order sound
cool reference cool sounding set up but no punch really
Coming at me? don't approach this bear in his cave
Cuz if any of your lawsuits get tied up, it’s the one you're wearing today
nice
He’s getting killed quick; you’re a disaster with burners
And if I ever rack your brain, it's because I collect things after a murder
lol dope
Sorry to put your gov’t out there, but let the tie-in sting
Cuz one more word and I’m giving Jeremy a Scar like the Lion King
bet no one gets this Jeremy Irons reference lol
kinda funny considering your opener in this battle

I’m sorry to drop you. Fat boy… Noone wanna get violent;
But, this ain’t fat shaming. It’s the Hulk ‘body slamming’ Andre the Giant.
cool eh ok
You’re gross and obscene. It’s over; it seems…
This was an uphill battle from the start… and we BOTH know what that means…
subtle maybe too subtle
Everyone loves you… This chump’s never frightening;
Your battles got no ‘hype or tension,’ but we ALL see your blood pressure spiking…
lol ok but no
My shit ALWAYS shines. Even my worst is a feature…
At best, you’re off and on. Epileptics read your verse and get seizures.
lol really lowkey jabs here but this was cool too
Every body’s a temple. Your’s is shaped like a Buddha.
I hit below the belt. Body blows shakin’ your FUPA.. until your whole frame’s in a stupor.
yep more of the same kind of minimal effort but funny
dug the rhyming here but kind of wasted it
Plus, your lady’s a disproportionate size…
That bitch hates fireworks and can sense forming storm fronts before they arrive.
I really liked this actually lol
I still gave her all 12. A coup de grace to her box left her cooter rocked;
She got more ‘mind-blowing footage’ than the film Zapruter shot…
Like the rhyming. Punch was alright.
You’re done, with a quick flurry….
Your best shit is a Rocky horror… and I’m Clubber Lang... You’re Tim Curry.
almost feel like there's more to this than I'm getting
but at face value the loose connections don't do enough for me

This really is razor close. I liked Jax's heavier use of rhyming and the subtle style of attack. I think User was a smidge more consistent and the directness helped in this particular battle given how close it was otherwise. Either of you could lose this and feel proud about it.

Vote - User

[Destroyer]

got user here also barely
wasn’t feeling a lot of either verse
lawsuits, rack your brain
vs
uphill battle, hype or tension

very close
just felt like user had better misses

[UPN Zuch]

UserName wins 5-3 and advances.