WEEK 8: Maximus 0-1 VS Universe 1-4 UNIVERSE WINS BY NS/ OPEN FOR FEED

[UPN Zuch]

Welcome to the NBL

Rules

Line limit

Minimum: 10

Maximum: 16

Verses due 11:59pm EST November 28, 2020 (Saturday)

Extensions are granted automatically. 24-hour max. MUST BE REQUESTED BY DEADLINE


Good luck, gentlemen

[Universe]

Hey, Maximus.

16.

[Universe]

NBL - No-showed vs. brokenhal0
http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=145465

AOWL - No-showed vs. Concrete
http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=145476

......

Seems you don't battle anymore so you know it's bad if you're the norm
You'll never turn the corner, we see you and just think of Mac in plural form
No significant threads on this board, your name's hardly brought in the picture
You get more spore-adic clickers than any game Naughty Dog can deliver
Known for taking off, should be tar n' feathered for all that flight planning
But no one's wiping off the tar, Max... I can't see any of ya lines landing
Stilted wordplay held you in high standing, yet nothin' has remained
You came in all full of piss and vinegar and left covered in the same
Are you not entertained!? I stole your thunder so you're no real gunner
Like a frag grenade, I don't gotta pinpoint ya weakness to blow your cover...
You'll Leave in Bags, paper pusher - desk jobs ain't raking in wealth
Maximus is bound to Rustle forever... you'll never make a name for yourself
Only thing you shooting is, off at the mouth - keep hoping that you broke me
I'll poke holes in that Garb rant quicker than Covid did to Cody
Can't hold court... he fell to disposition, chalk full of lies sans rebuttals
I'll serve this guy and leave, perfect crime scene... No sign of a struggle.

[Scout]

Seems you don't battle anymore so you know it's bad if you're the norm
You'll never turn the corner, we see you and just think of Mac in plural form
Only thing you shooting is, off at the mouth - keep hoping that you broke me
I'll poke holes in that Garb rant quicker than Covid did to Cody

I really liked these
A few others had potential. Some wp felt rushed/thrown into spots
I like the style. Maybe a little overworded at times, but you could be very good in the near future
Keep at it

[fraze]

Originally Posted by Universe

Seems you don't battle anymore so you know it's bad if you're the norm
You'll never turn the corner, we see you and just think of Mac in plural form
wording is awkward to me. light punch
No significant threads on this board, your name's hardly brought in the picture
You get more spore-adic clickers than any game Naughty Dog can deliver
don't like this. would want to see you do more with the word play
Known for taking off, should be tar n' feathered for all that flight planning
But no one's wiping off the tar, Max... I can't see any of ya lines landing
i see what you're doing. this is close to hitting
Stilted wordplay held you in high standing, yet nothin' has remained
You came in all full of piss and vinegar and left covered in the same
maybe with a better setup. didn't like this.
Are you not entertained!? I stole your thunder so you're no real gunner
Like a frag grenade, I don't gotta pinpoint ya weakness to blow your cover...
ok concept. very statementish delivery
You'll Leave in Bags, paper pusher - desk jobs ain't raking in wealth
Maximus is bound to Rustle forever... you'll never make a name for yourself
this is ok
Only thing you shooting is, off at the mouth - keep hoping that you broke me
I'll poke holes in that Garb rant quicker than Covid did to Cody
stretched to me
Can't hold court... he fell to disposition, chalk full of lies sans rebuttals
I'll serve this guy and leave, perfect crime scene... No sign of a struggle.
there isn't much of a punch here

Quotes: bound to Rustle
Close: tar maxs

You had some cool ideas looking forward to seeing the next verse.