WEEK 7: Ajax 2-1 VS Ahriman 1-0 AJAX WINS

[UPN Zuch]

Ahriman verse:



Ajax aka Eyeaxe aka Adonis aka brutally lost to Orc

How they Mold you “elite”? but you’ll Die by a noob
Saw Orchil this lame, get use to voters not taking Lichen of you
Jax swamped in bills, this Bird your dome you’ll drop quick
I get Caught surrounded by Bills, celebrating wins more than DeAndre Hopkins
Fuck this idiots face up & Surround the geek with nurses
Leaving Eyesore, but not as bad as when we read his verses
I beat ur wife pussy till divorce talks is hittin this dude
Love how your Extend to sit on this Long Ride, but won’t walk the Distance with you
UPN faggots hold no weight. In seconds this dude is slapped
This glock put Jax in a Bag & that ain’t one of Users Snacks
One bullet’ll stretch that Attention Span! Die you soft bitch
Either it’s 1 shot in Aderal rounds will mess this kid up more than a science Project
Grab your throat & punch your face till they don’t think your well
I killed Jax In Five, & they won’t hear him sing for help

[fraze]

Originally Posted by Ajax

I get it. I’m scary to most…
You should have scrapped that WHOLE verse; Not just the two lines you were too embarrassed to post.
like the wording but punch is light. ok opener
Your entire drop was a shank. Put your loss in the bank….
This peasant’s not a ‘stone’s throw from power.’ He’s tossing rocks at a tank.
dope concept. sad you didn't set this up more, but this is still nice
I pull rank with legends. It’s true…
You only ‘pull rank’ when you fall in love with busted strippers that pretend to dig you.
light. too wordy for the rhyme scheme you set up
I beat down street urchins like.. Shit. I got nothin’ better to do…
Son… your family’s broken-down camel spits better than you.
funny. needed more set up to hit
Every drop of mine brings impossible violence…
I’m the peak of evolution. You stopped at the Galapagos Islands.
nice concept & wording. no setup, ok punch.
Your name’s ironic… So, you don’t dare disparage;
You’re a less ‘destructive spirit’ than the one your Dad drank to kill your parents’ marriage.
like the concept, execution is light to me
I roll solo; you can’t attack with an army….
The judges will ‘hit the Belfast’ in this battle harder than an Irish bachelor party.
not feeling this.

Originally Posted by Ahriman

How they Mold you “elite”? but you’ll Die by a noob
Saw Orchil this lame, get use to voters not taking Lichen of you
see what you're doing with the wp but this is stretched to me as worded
Jax swamped in bills, this Bird your dome you’ll drop quick
I get Caught surrounded by Bills, celebrating wins more than DeAndre Hopkins
needs cleaner wording to hit
Fuck this idiots face up & Surround the geek with nurses
Leaving Eyesore, but not as bad as when we read his verses
concept is a little played. punch is light
I beat ur wife pussy till divorce talks is hittin this dude
Love how your Extend to sit on this Long Ride, but won’t walk the Distance with you
this is kinda forced to me. kinda ok w/ the setup
UPN faggots hold no weight. In seconds this dude is slapped
This glock put Jax in a Bag & that ain’t one of Users Snacks
crackerjacks come in a box tho. wording is a little off
One bullet’ll stretch that Attention Span! Die you soft bitch
Either it’s 1 shot in Aderal rounds will mess this kid up more than a science Project
forced to me
Grab your throat & punch your face till they don’t think your well
I killed Jax In Five, & they won’t hear him sing for help
now i see why you wanted to go 10. lol this is ok tho

Ajax had rocks at a tank and Galapagos. camel and spirits were cool also. Nice read overall, had some creative concepts.

Ahriman's jackson 5 closer was cool, walk the distance was ok. I got thrown off by your wording on a lot of the bars. Wordplay flips don't work for me unless worded well (Orchil, Aderal, Eyesore).

Vote: Ajax nice showing from both but going with ajax for better wording/concepts

[Fracture]

Ajax wins

Most lines were good to bang level. Felt the last four especially

Other dude wasnt bad. Just nothing that really stood out good or bad

[Coop]

AJAX

I get it. I’m scary to most…
You should have scrapped that WHOLE verse; Not just the two lines you were too embarrassed to post.
Decent opener
Your entire drop was a shank. Put your loss in the bank….
This peasant’s not a ‘stone’s throw from power.’ He’s tossing rocks at a tank.
I've never seen that idiom, but good bar
I pull rank with legends. It’s true…
You only ‘pull rank’ when you fall in love with busted strippers that pretend to dig you.
Ok
I beat down street urchins like.. Shit. I got nothin’ better to do…
Son… your family’s broken-down camel spits better than you.
Basic
Every drop of mine brings impossible violence…
I’m the peak of evolution. You stopped at the Galapagos Islands.
Wasn't feeling
Your name’s ironic… So, you don’t dare disparage;
You’re a less ‘destructive spirit’ than the one your Dad drank to kill your parents’ marriage.
Good
I roll solo; you can’t attack with an army….
The judges will ‘hit the Belfast’ in this battle harder than an Irish bachelor party.
Ok closer

This 'short & sweet' writing style works, but the risk is some bars can come off too basic. You were still pretty consistent. Good stuff 6.5/10


VS


AHRIMAN


How they Mold you “elite”? but you’ll Die by a noob
Saw Orchil this lame, get use to voters not taking Lichen of you
Major points for creativity here, but its almost trying to do so much it backfired
Jax swamped in bills, this Bird your dome you’ll drop quick
I get Caught surrounded by Bills, celebrating wins more than DeAndre Hopkins
This wasn't much of a diss and your random capitalized words annoy me.
Fuck this idiots face up & Surround the geek with nurses
Leaving Eyesore, but not as bad as when we read his verses
Pretty sure "leaving eyesore" doesn't work as a phrase or idiom or sentence or continuance on its own, which ruins the punch.
I beat ur wife pussy till divorce talks is hittin this dude
Love how your Extend to sit on this Long Ride, but won’t walk the Distance with you
Isn't 'walking the distance' getting married? If so, this didn't work how you intended. Decently creative though
UPN faggots hold no weight. In seconds this dude is slapped
This glock put Jax in a Bag & that ain’t one of Users Snacks
Disses user more than ajax
One bullet’ll stretch that Attention Span! Die you soft bitch
Either it’s 1 shot in Aderal rounds will mess this kid up more than a science Project
meh....? You mean adderall? This is a mess
Grab your throat & punch your face till they don’t think your well
I killed Jax In Five, & they won’t hear him sing for help
Ok closer



You had a ton of wp, which is a good thing, but the execution was lacking. 5/10




Your entire drop was a shank. Put your loss in the bank….
This peasant’s not a ‘stone’s throw from power.’ He’s tossing rocks at a tank.
Your name’s ironic… So, you don’t dare disparage;
You’re a less ‘destructive spirit’ than the one your Dad drank to kill your parents’ marriage.


VS


How they Mold you “elite”? but you’ll Die by a noob
Saw Orchil this lame, get use to voters not taking Lichen of you


Vote: Ajax