Week 1: Eviction vs MMLP MMLP WINS

Concrete · 11-15-2020, 02:50 PM

MMLP - overall it's a pretty cool take on the topic at hand. I could sense some anxiety inducing impending doom vibes that fitted the image well.
I may be completely wrong but I got some sense of a more reflective approach towards the ending, ala facing the vulnerability and going onward type of thing. Bar for bar it's on-point as far as I can tell, showing got grasp writing more intricate than your opponent here.
Overall it's dope, tho this bar stood out as the best:

Thoughts clouded with treachery to a kid which is stifled.
As the boundless depression keeps on its vicious cycle,

Eviction - You definately did your thing here as well.
More stretched lines than your foe but fortunately you managed to
keep a steady rhythm\flow all the way. More straightforward and focused story that fitted your style well.
Another strong point here is that you didn't stray from the story given
the length. So, like MMLP you kept the momentum going the whole piece as well. There's one bar that I liked in particular tho:

I was just a kid living out a fantasy, I didn’t know about the pollution in the air.
Vapor leaving the population in despair, too young to offer a solution to repair.

^^My cup of black tea right there.

As for the vote its quite hard to decide, MMLP had more finesse bar for bar
yet Evictions story was sorta more charming to me. After reading again I'll follow the trend and edge it to MMLP, I felt his wording is more unique.

So vote MMLP, but isn't as one-sided as the votes suggest.

11-15-2020, 02:50 PM	#8
Concrete Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: Oslo Posts: 179 Battle Record: 5-0 Rep Power: 2158978	MMLP - overall it's a pretty cool take on the topic at hand. I could sense some anxiety inducing impending doom vibes that fitted the image well. I may be completely wrong but I got some sense of a more reflective approach towards the ending, ala facing the vulnerability and going onward type of thing. Bar for bar it's on-point as far as I can tell, showing got grasp writing more intricate than your opponent here. Overall it's dope, tho this bar stood out as the best: Thoughts clouded with treachery to a kid which is stifled. As the boundless depression keeps on its vicious cycle, Eviction - You definately did your thing here as well. More stretched lines than your foe but fortunately you managed to keep a steady rhythm\flow all the way. More straightforward and focused story that fitted your style well. Another strong point here is that you didn't stray from the story given the length. So, like MMLP you kept the momentum going the whole piece as well. There's one bar that I liked in particular tho: I was just a kid living out a fantasy, I didn’t know about the pollution in the air. Vapor leaving the population in despair, too young to offer a solution to repair. ^^My cup of black tea right there. As for the vote its quite hard to decide, MMLP had more finesse bar for bar yet Evictions story was sorta more charming to me. After reading again I'll follow the trend and edge it to MMLP, I felt his wording is more unique. So vote MMLP, but isn't as one-sided as the votes suggest.