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Old 11-01-2020, 06:57 PM   #1
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Default WEEK 5: Shredder 1-0 VS Eviction 0-1 EVICTION WINS

Welcome to the NBL

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Minimum: 10

Maximum: 16

Verses due 11:59pm EST November 5, 2020 (Thursday)

Extensions are granted automatically. 24-hour max. MUST BE REQUESTED BY DEADLINE


Good luck, gentlemen
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Originally Posted by Jabari Black View Post
The sight’s laser. Lift the beam from the hip like a lightsaber/
Or pull up to ya doorstep...I’m on ya porch wavin like polite neighbors/
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Old 11-02-2020, 09:42 PM   #2
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I'm here and check
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Old 11-02-2020, 11:37 PM   #3
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check

lets go 12

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Old 11-04-2020, 08:14 PM   #4
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12 sent @Shredder
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Old 11-05-2020, 09:48 PM   #5
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@Shredder you have 2 hours
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Or pull up to ya doorstep...I’m on ya porch wavin like polite neighbors/
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Old 11-06-2020, 12:00 AM   #6
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His record's 0-1 so I said he'll beat me when pigs fly and this dumb hoe asked
If that means he'd win since he got the face of a hog nose bat
I'll catch his ass coming from the eye doctor while I'm next to war guys with scopes
And we'll put more dots on his pupil than that for eyes logo
Try ta be viewed as a beast but bitch that aint how yo pals and ops see ya
You couldnt get a negative image meeting an evil twin with palinopsia
See creatively I'll knee your throat, make you futurama's mutant leg that season
This kid couldn't make the cut if he hung up socks stuffed with eggs for teething
This muthafucka is rusty. He wouldn't bust a grape during meals
He could land the role of Michael Meyers and still wouldn't be in The Shape to kill
I doubted he'd show for this battle, I thought of course he'll bail
Cuz he the type of cat to rarely show some balls. This pussy's breed is a tortoiseshell!
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Old 11-06-2020, 12:09 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shredder
We older soliders now! We went from trying weed and rocking our gold!
To seeing our sons eat crayons, wondering "how nontoxic are those?"
I don’t doubt your parenting, but the life of your child is about to go south.
Instead of debating the toxicity of poison, just take the shit out of his mouth.
You'll keep battling sinacog for easy wins, you won’t even try and dead it.
Get slaughtered by old beef, he’ll be to you what McRibs are to diabetics.
That 50 shades of grey… that’s what your bitch demands from a goat.
Her mans gonna choke, she jelly when she sees them hands on ya throat.
I need to rethink that ^^^^ about to swallow prozac, cuz of the stress I feel.
Cuz WTF would I have a your bitch bar, after imagining that bitches sex appeal.
He aint a shredder, more like the fucking rat, that’s why this is getting hateful.
Why would u wanna be the dude chasing turtles instead of the one dicking april.
He’ll claim premature victory after getting trumped, like he’s imitating presidents.
The result is clear as day - RIP to shred, like getting rid of incriminating evidence.
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Old 11-06-2020, 05:11 PM   #8
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Shredder had some concepts if fleshed out abit better could of landed with some force. Nothing really stood out as his wording did him in. For eyes logo was decent

Eviction had a much better worded verse which read a little smoother and thus dem punches landed a bit cleaner. I was feeling the mcrib line.

Vote eviction for a cleaner verse
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Old 11-07-2020, 01:11 AM   #9
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Up over no shows
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jabari Black View Post
The sight’s laser. Lift the beam from the hip like a lightsaber/
Or pull up to ya doorstep...I’m on ya porch wavin like polite neighbors/
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Old 11-07-2020, 02:46 PM   #10
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Eviction for his opener and a smoother read. Shredder didn't land anything imo.. Concept wise i wasn't feeling anything
V/eviction
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Old 11-07-2020, 03:11 PM   #11
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For this one I’ll just say shredder didn’t really have much that resonated with me . Eviction had the opener which was an interesting personal but other than that fell flat

Both of you guys stick at it but a lack lustre battle for now

Vote eviction
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Old 11-07-2020, 05:04 PM   #12
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I’ll give Shredder the Shape to Kill line. Anything else was overly worded or just too abstract to be witty or harsh/direct. A lot of he couldn’t do this or he could do that type wording. Basic. I would go into more detail but he seems to have a poor attitude re feedback so I’ll leave it there.

Eviction has a cool style, some funny lines. I liked the opener and dicking April. Closer was cool in terms of content but just didn’t quite land imo

Vote eviction
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Old 11-07-2020, 09:30 PM   #13
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Eviction got this but this wasn’t good in any way
I’m not sure what’s going on but yeah, I’d try to write less like the way you guys wrote here and try to write more like other people here or just in a way that differs from the way above

V/eviction
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Old 11-07-2020, 09:33 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Destroyer View Post
Eviction got this but this wasn’t good in any way
I’m not sure what’s going on but yeah, I’d try to write less like the way you guys wrote here and try to write more like other people here or just in a way that differs from the way above
Jesus christ
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Old 11-07-2020, 10:58 PM   #15
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Tough both verse so clean and fresh
I'll give to Evic I feel like his lines more fresh
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Old 11-08-2020, 07:32 AM   #16
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Shred

Had nothing


Eviction

You'll keep battling sinacog for easy wins, you won’t even try and dead it.
Get slaughtered by old beef, he’ll be to you what McRibs are to diabetics.

Closer almost hit as well

Voting Eviction
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Old 11-08-2020, 12:27 PM   #17
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V/eviction. Overall a cleaner read. Nothing hit too hard for me all around on this battle.
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Old 11-08-2020, 03:57 PM   #18
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lol @ des.

Shredder, you gotta evolve bro. I'm with Orc tho, the Shape to Kill line was probably the least bad in there. Verse read like a super throwback for me lol.

Eviction -

Opener and Mcribs was okay. Your wording's a bit better than Shredder's, but conceptually you'll have to step it up a little to compete with the higher ranks.

V - Eviction
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Old 11-08-2020, 04:49 PM   #19
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Not much

vs.

He’ll claim premature victory after getting trumped, like he’s imitating presidents.
The result is clear as day - RIP to shred, like getting rid of incriminating evidence.


Eviction had better concpets and wording outside of the 'quotables' so he took it... props to both
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