Season Champ Match: 1. Zuch vs 2. EvaD - ZUCH WINS

[Sharp]

Netcees Pic League
The Fucking Finals

Min: 16 Lines
Max: 24 Lines
Line limit can go up to 30 if both agree

Due Wednesday, 9/23 at Midnight PST
For everything else, check the Rules Thread

@Zuchiefiasco @evaD

figure out pics

[UPN Zuch]

40 is cool. I’ll post my pic shortly

[evaD]

going MAX

[evaD]

So the Final is dave v zuch?
I’m a combo of Dre and Cube.. make your hot streak go real flimsy
You remind me of Ren; not from NWA I mean the one from that show with Stimpy
And if you think that haircuts fire you’re in denial
Shits had more frantic left swipes than you’re entire tinder bio
Was leg day on a leap year? You ain’t hittin the racks, weasel
Only time he’s ever clean and jerked was cooking chicken for black people
If we throw hands could zuchie see me? I’m thinking prolly not
candy from a baby supposed to be easy but ur struggling to lift that lollipop
That dress sense is the most shocking thing I’ve seen yet
Im just surprised you can physically pull on a top that isn’t a v-neck
That fucking bulbous kneecap makes my stomach feel uneasy
Shit I thought “slavery was a choice” was the grossest thing that could come out of a yeezy
The first zuch family pic I’ve seen yo.. it’s the sort that make you cry
Just think that boy will share your genes.. and your chinos - all before the age of 5
Cleaned house with every battle, zuch the only one left in the room
So the reasoning why ima sweep you aside is that your body resembles a broom

[UPN Zuch]

Them thin ass lips and disguise have the means of a boss ploy
Lookin’ like Captain Hook if he boofed meth and molested 3 of the Lost Boys
You were a bum on UPN so we had to cast you off, sue me
If you’re making a come back it’s because you died at the end of that Alpha Dog movie
As for that light bulb nose, it has my mental affected
I would refer you to a plastic surgeon, but he would just refer you to General Electric
Crack Sparrow out here looking for buried treasure despite council
Gonna have a hard time breathin’ if he keeps digging for gold in that right nostril
Them skin blotches are WOW, it’s like you’re trying to hurt me
Only thing you and pirates have in common is you’re both dying from scurvy
How OLD are you? Trust this guy’s a disgrace
I’d point the Colt between those eyes but you already look 45 in the face
That weathered fucking face can barely fit the display
You’re aging at a 5G speed but them eyebrows coming in at 56k
That facial hair wack, my guy it’s best to be warned
That I haven’t seen a trim job like that since a bitch snatch in 70’s porn

[UserName]

Dave:

I’m a combo of Dre and Cube.. make your hot streak go real flimsy
You remind me of Ren; not from NWA I mean the one from that show with Stimpy
That fucking bulbous kneecap makes my stomach feel uneasy
Shit I thought “slavery was a choice” was the grossest thing that could come out of a yeezy
The first zuch family pic I’ve seen yo.. it’s the sort that make you cry
Just think that boy will share your genes.. and your chinos - all before the age of 5


Zuch:

Them thin ass lips and disguise have the means of a boss ploy
Lookin’ like Captain Hook if he boofed meth and molested 3 of the Lost Boys
As for that light bulb nose, it has my mental affected
I would refer you to a plastic surgeon, but he would just refer you to General Electric
Them skin blotches are WOW, it’s like you’re trying to hurt me
Only thing you and pirates have in common is you’re both dying from scurvy
How OLD are you? Trust this guy’s a disgrace
I’d point the Colt between those eyes but you already look 45 in the face
That weathered fucking face can barely fit the display
You’re aging at a 5G speed but them eyebrows coming in at 56k

I got Zuch here. Dave had some fire, the yeezy line was dope af. Zuch was just straight clowning towards the end, aside from his closer it seemed like he was firing off hit after hit there for a while. Nice battle though boys, love you both. See you next season.

V - Zuch

[dull boy]

Vote - Zuch

[Hush]

Dave had lotb with the yeezy bar


45 in the face was cold tho


A lot of bars didn’t sting but I imagine u guys are fatigued



Zuchs legs legit two chopsticks yikes


Good battle



Vote tie

[Adverse]

David:
So the Final is dave v zuch?
I’m a combo of Dre and Cube.. make your hot streak go real flimsy
You remind me of Ren; not from NWA I mean the one from that show with Stimpy
^ kinda heard this idea before also wasn’t really a direct drag on the picture, but it’s okay not a great opener

And if you think that haircuts fire you’re in denial
Shits had more frantic left swipes than you’re entire tinder bio
^ lol I liked this

Was leg day on a leap year? You ain’t hittin the racks, weasel
Only time he’s ever clean and jerked was cooking chicken for black people
^ ehh okay

If we throw hands could zuchie see me? I’m thinking prolly not
candy from a baby supposed to be easy but ur struggling to lift that lollipop
^ could have been worded better but haha funny concept

That dress sense is the most shocking thing I’ve seen yet
Im just surprised you can physically pull on a top that isn’t a v-neck
^ think this was a mistype but didn’t hit to me either way tbh

That fucking bulbous kneecap makes my stomach feel uneasy
Shit I thought “slavery was a choice” was the grossest thing that could come out of a yeezy
^ lmao kinda long winded but good

The first zuch family pic I’ve seen yo.. it’s the sort that make you cry
Just think that boy will share your genes.. and your chinos - all before the age of 5
^ haha okay now cool

Cleaned house with every battle, zuch the only one left in the room
So the reasoning why ima sweep you aside is that your body resembles a broom
^ it’s okay could have been a little more ferocious here but decent

Zuch:
Them thin ass lips and disguise have the means of a boss ploy
Lookin’ like Captain Hook if he boofed meth and molested 3 of the Lost Boys
^ lmao get the obvious angle outta the way first cool correlation

You were a bum on UPN so we had to cast you off, sue me
If you’re making a come back it’s because you died at the end of that Alpha Dog movie
^ had to google so took a little bit of sting away but okay

As for that light bulb nose, it has my mental affected
I would refer you to a plastic surgeon, but he would just refer you to General Electric
^ think somebody did the bulb nose angle recently (user?) but not to this affect great bar

Crack Sparrow out here looking for buried treasure despite council
Gonna have a hard time breathin’ if he keeps digging for gold in that right nostril
^ ehhh didn’t really hit for me rhyme for iffy

Them skin blotches are WOW, it’s like you’re trying to hurt me
Only thing you and pirates have in common is you’re both dying from scurvy
^ lol ok

How OLD are you? Trust this guy’s a disgrace
I’d point the Colt between those eyes but you already look 45 in the face
^ ehh concept is kinda old imo

That weathered fucking face can barely fit the display
You’re aging at a 5G speed but them eyebrows coming in at 56k
^ lol okay again

That facial hair wack, my guy it’s best to be warned
That I haven’t seen a trim job like that since a bitch snatch in 70’s porn
^ ehh wasn’t feeling too much like Dave should have come harder to close

While I agree with Hush that some stuff wasn’t hitting there was a lot that did and this was a fun finale. In my humble opinion it goes to the person who got a few more jabs in which I think was Zuch. Dope battle props to you two two of my favorites doing it. One love

V/Zuch

[Ouch]

evaD -

You remind me of Ren; not from NWA I mean the one from that show with Stimpy
I like that one

candy from a baby supposed to be easy but ur struggling to lift that lollipop
thats alright, nothing special though


So the reasoning why ima sweep you aside is that your body resembles a broom

ok I guess

evaD --- To me your shit was really hit and miss... much more so miss, to be a champ match and shit I would've expected a lot more. The Ren and Stimpy line with the set up with Ren from NWA was your best.. but eehh. Ya shit wasn't bad but it wasn't anything special at all, seemed more like a quick forced freestyle.


but on to the next. Maybe his won't be great either.



Zuch ----


Them thin ass lips and disguise have the means of a boss ploy
Lookin’ like Captain Hook if he boofed meth and molested 3 of the Lost Boys
lmfao.... nice

I would refer you to a plastic surgeon, but he would just refer you to General Electric
thats ok

Crack Sparrow out here looking for buried treasure despite council
that set up to your punch calling him crack sparrow as a lot funnier than your actual punchline, but still.

I’d point the Colt between those eyes but you already look 45 in the face
thats not super witty.. but damn he does look pretty old

You’re aging at a 5G speed but them eyebrows coming in at 56k
hahah



So those are the highlights IMO.... both did alright neither were over the top dope all time remarkable or anything. But for sure in my opinion Zuch handily took this one, he was way wittier.


Vote --- Zuch fa show

[El Muffin]

Dave .

Opener was ok but came off a bit unwieldy for me. The wording
Left swipes is ok
Clean n jerked was ass
Lollipop was cool but implying someone is weak to lift up a lollipop kindacornu to me . I like the concept tho . Ok
V neck ok
Yeesys was a banger tho
Conceptually the chinos line was eh but the wording was masterful . Really drove that one . Not great but a good bar
Sweep / resemble a broom . Eww. Ancient


Zuchie

Opener was an interesting observation . I can kinda see it lmso . Effective open
Alpha dog . I don’t even remember enough to care . One of those things where one of your audience members barely remembers your reference . It happens . Someone else will understand it
General Electric was dumb but it works . His shit do look like a hell lol . Ok ..
Right nostril was a no . Just underwhelming
Colt LMAOOOO here we go
Last 4 were .. hmm .
56 k was ok

But closer was a regular degulsr observation n not even a clever one

Hold up

Yeah according to my breakdown 2 quotes each 3 oks for Dave 2 for Zuch ?

I got Dave by the tiniest margin

V/ Dave

[Sharp]

@El Muffin

[Sharp]

@Resin M-I-C @Vulgar gotta vote or you're ineligible to win the roast

[Resin M-I-C]

too close to call.. need a one off playoff.. best bar wins

[Sharp]

Originally Posted by Resin M-I-C

too close to call.. need a one off playoff.. best bar wins

unfortunately not happening

flip a coin if you must

[Sharp]

So the Final is dave v zuch?
I’m a combo of Dre and Cube.. make your hot streak go real flimsy
You remind me of Ren; not from NWA I mean the one from that show with Stimpy
setup is beyond clean. Punch wording is stretched out and delivery is bland. Punch itself is cool
And if you think that haircuts fire you’re in denial
Shits had more frantic left swipes than you’re entire tinder bio
your*. Bad grammar stands out. Delivery here is okay, but a pretty commonly done style
Was leg day on a leap year? You ain’t hittin the racks, weasel
Only time he’s ever clean and jerked was cooking chicken for black people
setup again better than punch
If we throw hands could zuchie see me? I’m thinking prolly not
candy from a baby supposed to be easy but ur struggling to lift that lollipop
okay
That dress sense is the most shocking thing I’ve seen yet
Im just surprised you can physically pull on a top that isn’t a v-neck
lol. Wording still feels weird at 'physically pull on a top'
That fucking bulbous kneecap makes my stomach feel uneasy
Shit I thought “slavery was a choice” was the grossest thing that could come out of a yeezy
lol nice. Fav so far
The first zuch family pic I’ve seen yo.. it’s the sort that make you cry
Just think that boy will share your genes.. and your chinos - all before the age of 5
lmao new favorite bar. Solid misdirection. Funny bar
Cleaned house with every battle, zuch the only one left in the room
So the reasoning why ima sweep you aside is that your body resembles a broom
meh



Them thin ass lips and disguise have the means of a boss ploy
Lookin’ like Captain Hook if he boofed meth and molested 3 of the Lost Boys
lol
You were a bum on UPN so we had to cast you off, sue me
If you’re making a come back it’s because you died at the end of that Alpha Dog movie
had to google. Works, but lost the visceral punch effect since I didn't get it right away
As for that light bulb nose, it has my mental affected
I would refer you to a plastic surgeon, but he would just refer you to General Electric
lol cool
Crack Sparrow out here looking for buried treasure despite council
Gonna have a hard time breathin’ if he keeps digging for gold in that right nostril
okay
Them skin blotches are WOW, it’s like you’re trying to hurt me
Only thing you and pirates have in common is you’re both dying from scurvy
not in love with the wording but fuck with the punch
How OLD are you? Trust this guy’s a disgrace
I’d point the Colt between those eyes but you already look 45 in the face
almost there for me
That weathered fucking face can barely fit the display
You’re aging at a 5G speed but them eyebrows coming in at 56k
lol
That facial hair wack, my guy it’s best to be warned
That I haven’t seen a trim job like that since a bitch snatch in 70’s porn
Meh


Close. Really equal in consistency with how many hit, quality of punches. Liking how even this is. Could go either way but Dave had two of my three favorite bars.

V/evaD

[Sharp]

@Mac @Bomb Bard @FGR @Blue Bayou @Destroyer the democratic process needs another champion

[Destroyer]

Basically I have dave here
It came down to scurvy vs yeezy to me
Yeezy was lotb and I think Dave just edged it with that. Also. Peter Pan punches? Lost boys? hook? Nah, that shit may fly in the first battle of the season, but not the last , knowehafimsayin? Anyway, truly barc is a faggot, but I have Dave.

V/dave

[Blue Bayou]

Ren funny
Seen a lot of swipe/tinder lines over the years.. diss is light and doesn't feel fresh
Clean and jerk solid/okay for a leg attack
Not feeling lollipop, falls flat to me
Vneck is jokes if it's the nose diss I think it is ...could've been set up and tied better
Yeezy lol, dope
Share your genes was cool
Closer bad / esque

Vs

Captain hook lol solid
Aloha Dog is fire to me, I really like the reference , setup carried the bar well
GE haha, pretty good observation
Nostril meh
Scurvy lolish, dece reference bar
45 in the face is dooope
5G speed / 56k was clever.... cool
Trim job nah, seems to wash or something.




Cool battle and good seasons fellas ...both had cool concepts throughout but I think Zuch was a bit more consistent do he gets my vote

[Mac]

So the Final is dave v zuch?
I’m a combo of Dre and Cube.. make your hot streak go real flimsy
You remind me of Ren; not from NWA I mean the one from that show with Stimpy
lol pretty accurate

And if you think that haircuts fire you’re in denial
Shits had more frantic left swipes than you’re entire tinder bio
eehh ok

Was leg day on a leap year? You ain’t hittin the racks, weasel
Only time he’s ever clean and jerked was cooking chicken for black people
not getting this lol

If we throw hands could zuchie see me? I’m thinking prolly not
candy from a baby supposed to be easy but ur struggling to lift that lollipop
okk could have been executed better

That dress sense is the most shocking thing I’ve seen yet
Im just surprised you can physically pull on a top that isn’t a v-neck
ok

That fucking bulbous kneecap makes my stomach feel uneasy
Shit I thought “slavery was a choice” was the grossest thing that could come out of a yeezy
cool

The first zuch family pic I’ve seen yo.. it’s the sort that make you cry
Just think that boy will share your genes.. and your chinos - all before the age of 5
nah

Cleaned house with every battle, zuch the only one left in the room
So the reasoning why ima sweep you aside is that your body resembles a broom
ok

vs.

Them thin ass lips and disguise have the means of a boss ploy
Lookin’ like Captain Hook if he boofed meth and molested 3 of the Lost Boys
ok

You were a bum on UPN so we had to cast you off, sue me
If you’re making a come back it’s because you died at the end of that Alpha Dog movie
ok

As for that light bulb nose, it has my mental affected
I would refer you to a plastic surgeon, but he would just refer you to General Electric
lmaoo

Crack Sparrow out here looking for buried treasure despite council
Gonna have a hard time breathin’ if he keeps digging for gold in that right nostril
cool

Them skin blotches are WOW, it’s like you’re trying to hurt me
Only thing you and pirates have in common is you’re both dying from scurvy
nah

How OLD are you? Trust this guy’s a disgrace
I’d point the Colt between those eyes but you already look 45 in the face
good shit

That weathered fucking face can barely fit the display
You’re aging at a 5G speed but them eyebrows coming in at 56k
nahh

That facial hair wack, my guy it’s best to be warned
That I haven’t seen a trim job like that since a bitch snatch in 70’s porn
nahh

first of all props to both for getting to finals, well deserved spots. This was pretty tight with equal amount of misses and equal amount of punchlines but honestly zuch had the colt and the general electric line which gave him a slight edge over Dave. good shit, seen Dave come better agaisnt weaker opponents so I'm going to assume its the burnout from the whole season, plus he won that show and something tourney which is cool