Round Two: Johnny 6-Feet vs Ullr - JOHNNY 6-FEET WINS!

Adverse · 09-23-2020, 11:04 AM

This is kind of hard to call imo, both topics kind of walk the same line, it sort of reminded me of mine and Inno’s battle last round where the topics were gone about in such a similar way. But I’ll try my best to pick a winner

Johnny - play fallout much? Lol this seemed really inspired by there, or maybe fallout is very inspired by other apocalyptic cliches? Whatever the case may be this read pretty smooth flow wise but it felt kind of bare bones to what I’m used to seeing from you, maybe I’ve just got high expectations for your quality of work and you having family issues this week probably didn’t help, this just felt sort of like a first draft to me? The narrative kind of ran circles around itself, I don’t think the story really advanced you described the aftermath well but as for like where mankind ends up as they move on is kind of left up in the air, my favorite instance of imagery is “making snowmen out of the ashes of Nuclear winter” there was some great stuff here but didn’t feel like it ended up anywhere towards the end. I did like your last statement though

Ullr - Your verse started out a lot like johnny’s, you described the aftermath well, I liked some of your vocabulary choices and the imagery was there, how I think your verse differentiates from Johnny is that you kind of used the second part of the picture as well which is mankind moving forward despite this tragedy. How they started to rebuild and “grow their gardens” once again I liked the language like ‘resistant’ and ‘perseverance’ here because it showed mankind’s ability to move on and just how adaptable of a creature they are. Thought this was solid and though I feel like you ran in circles a little bit as well you had an endgame

I liked both verses decently they both had good things about them, I’m more of a character study, story oriented writer and I like reading that kind of piece usually while neither of you had that here instead opting for a bigger picture perspective I thought Ullr did a better job of telling a story and not just describing nuclear aftermath, I liked the rebuilding and restoring towards the end he gets my vote props for both showing

V/Ullr

09-23-2020, 11:04 AM	#6
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,752 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446146	This is kind of hard to call imo, both topics kind of walk the same line, it sort of reminded me of mine and Inno’s battle last round where the topics were gone about in such a similar way. But I’ll try my best to pick a winner Johnny - play fallout much? Lol this seemed really inspired by there, or maybe fallout is very inspired by other apocalyptic cliches? Whatever the case may be this read pretty smooth flow wise but it felt kind of bare bones to what I’m used to seeing from you, maybe I’ve just got high expectations for your quality of work and you having family issues this week probably didn’t help, this just felt sort of like a first draft to me? The narrative kind of ran circles around itself, I don’t think the story really advanced you described the aftermath well but as for like where mankind ends up as they move on is kind of left up in the air, my favorite instance of imagery is “making snowmen out of the ashes of Nuclear winter” there was some great stuff here but didn’t feel like it ended up anywhere towards the end. I did like your last statement though Ullr - Your verse started out a lot like johnny’s, you described the aftermath well, I liked some of your vocabulary choices and the imagery was there, how I think your verse differentiates from Johnny is that you kind of used the second part of the picture as well which is mankind moving forward despite this tragedy. How they started to rebuild and “grow their gardens” once again I liked the language like ‘resistant’ and ‘perseverance’ here because it showed mankind’s ability to move on and just how adaptable of a creature they are. Thought this was solid and though I feel like you ran in circles a little bit as well you had an endgame I liked both verses decently they both had good things about them, I’m more of a character study, story oriented writer and I like reading that kind of piece usually while neither of you had that here instead opting for a bigger picture perspective I thought Ullr did a better job of telling a story and not just describing nuclear aftermath, I liked the rebuilding and restoring towards the end he gets my vote props for both showing V/Ullr