Safe & Sound [Poetry]

Adverse · 08-13-2020, 10:26 AM

Thought this could have been more linear storywise, just more focused I mean I understand the whimsical nature of it and how it was supposed to be this journey but stuff like

Pave the way for certainty 'till its routine is baked
into the soul of 9-5 mantras and yoga classes.

Felt kinda weird to me and also more hip hop verbiage, but I did like the instances of heavy imagery I appreciate those a lot in poetry . Just some of the stuff made it feel not so poetic to me but that may just be preference and also I understand art is very subjective and just because it isn't hitting with me doesn't mean it won't blow someone else away completely. Keep writing dude I do enjoy your work just don't know like Eng told me before if this could be classified as "poetry" in a traditional sense

08-13-2020, 10:26 AM	#2
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,752 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446146	Thought this could have been more linear storywise, just more focused I mean I understand the whimsical nature of it and how it was supposed to be this journey but stuff like Pave the way for certainty 'till its routine is baked into the soul of 9-5 mantras and yoga classes. Felt kinda weird to me and also more hip hop verbiage, but I did like the instances of heavy imagery I appreciate those a lot in poetry . Just some of the stuff made it feel not so poetic to me but that may just be preference and also I understand art is very subjective and just because it isn't hitting with me doesn't mean it won't blow someone else away completely. Keep writing dude I do enjoy your work just don't know like Eng told me before if this could be classified as "poetry" in a traditional sense