GWL PLAYOFFS RD 2 #3 ADVERSE (9-4) VS #4 UNIVERSE (8-3) (UNI WINS)

Johnny 6 feet · 08-04-2020, 07:25 PM

Universe- Excellent. To tell a story this length and hold my attention for all of it was an accomplishment and a half. I loved the twists and turns of the tale; how it began as a set up for a horror story then transitioned to a man dealing with his internal struggle. It raised a question as to how his wife died which was intriguing. The way the topic was woven into the narrative was impressive; the source of his unhappiness being turned into the opposite mirrored his gender dysphoria, and the examination of his son at the end was a nice touch that rounded off the piece nicely. The imagery was intense, the vocab well chosen and the rhyme scheme was solid. Great work.

Adverse- A walk through the hell that is grief. I see you both took a lost family member into the topic this week. The punchline of the subject being an aborted child threw everything that came before it into a new light that bore new scrutiny. Painting the never was a phantom that haunts the parent and them picturing a thousand tiny details in a personal fantasy was an interesting take on a brave subject to tackle. The technical aspects of the piece were strong; choice of vocab and rhyme scheme stood out although a few lines felt overstretched here and there. This was mourning. Poetry. And did not disappoint.

Vote- Universe, an excellent battle but I felt he took this with a more engaging take.

08-04-2020, 07:25 PM	#8
Johnny 6 feet Storyteller Join Date: May 2020 Posts: 446 Battle Record: 8-4 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League Rep Power: 5558447	Universe- Excellent. To tell a story this length and hold my attention for all of it was an accomplishment and a half. I loved the twists and turns of the tale; how it began as a set up for a horror story then transitioned to a man dealing with his internal struggle. It raised a question as to how his wife died which was intriguing. The way the topic was woven into the narrative was impressive; the source of his unhappiness being turned into the opposite mirrored his gender dysphoria, and the examination of his son at the end was a nice touch that rounded off the piece nicely. The imagery was intense, the vocab well chosen and the rhyme scheme was solid. Great work. Adverse- A walk through the hell that is grief. I see you both took a lost family member into the topic this week. The punchline of the subject being an aborted child threw everything that came before it into a new light that bore new scrutiny. Painting the never was a phantom that haunts the parent and them picturing a thousand tiny details in a personal fantasy was an interesting take on a brave subject to tackle. The technical aspects of the piece were strong; choice of vocab and rhyme scheme stood out although a few lines felt overstretched here and there. This was mourning. Poetry. And did not disappoint. Vote- Universe, an excellent battle but I felt he took this with a more engaging take.