GWL PLAYOFFS ROUND 1- #6 SCAR (4-3) VS #7 INNO (5-5) INNO WINS/OPEN FOR FEED

Universe · 07-24-2020, 08:45 AM

Scar - Defintely a better effort here bro. You have still failed to capture the magic you had earlier on but this was a big step back in the right direction. This had a poetic feel to it that I'm sure Adverse will love lol, but overall it still felt a little half baked to me because of the lack of content. Don't get me wrong, it was still a beautiful thing to read... I just wanted more. But maybe that's what you were going for here. And that's probably a nod to how good of a writer you are that I did in fact, want more...

I was a little confused about which character was which... I thought we were with one then it sort of insinuated that we weren't... maybe I just struggled to follow but it stuck out to me.

Overall, pretty much this whole piece was a highlight in technical proficiency, just content was a little lacking. I REALLY wish it wasn't and that this was a fully fleshed out piece like the Scar of old. This was a teaser, of sorts. Still, good job overall.

Highlights:

"The main garden, tainted; A grave warning to those exposed
to the rain. large clumps of stained carpets enclosed
by rustic rows of aged faucets eroded by hail and beating sun.
Roses, ranging from red to strange sludge of leafy lumps
Spring had come and gone, what's left were staunch aromas..."

- This imagery was insane. I felt like it should've been shot in 4k and zoomed in on as an art piece. That's just the feel I got from this section.

Inno - This was a dope read. The depth of this piece was just stunning. Not as technically sound as Scar's, as there was some choppy moments, but I felt your overall message was clearer and, ironically, actually deeper. I felt Scar stayed on the surface of things and really nailed it in that way, but you went to the depths where it's dark and cold yet managed to make it shine. Your verse was overall just more ambitious.

Highlights:

"designer feelings lead to hand made atrocity
stitching togther individuals with
the finger tips of many.
poor for the poor, rich for the wealthy;
rats to there own race...
Spinning their wheels to the next blasphemy...."

- Deep.

"While the struggle reflects insecurities to a broken mirror
seeing themselves not as a sinner
never looking past their own reflections.
So if beauty stands amongst the beholders...
...we are perfection."

- Damn. Felt.

"In an ocean of lives, they deem themselves waves.
above all."

- Nice closer.

Good battle guys, a close one for sure Scar made a nice comeback but cut himself short. Inno was on his A game here from start to finish but wasn't as precise. I prefered Scar's technical approach but liked Inno's verse a little better overall. Just deeper and not as much of a teaser... Razor close for me, but...

Vote - Inno

Thanks fellas.

07-24-2020, 08:45 AM	#7
Universe Everything's Connected Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: Niagara Falls, Canada Posts: 1,001 Battle Record: 19-8 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League(2x) - GWL Picture challenge(2x) - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 10178706	Scar - Defintely a better effort here bro. You have still failed to capture the magic you had earlier on but this was a big step back in the right direction. This had a poetic feel to it that I'm sure Adverse will love lol, but overall it still felt a little half baked to me because of the lack of content. Don't get me wrong, it was still a beautiful thing to read... I just wanted more. But maybe that's what you were going for here. And that's probably a nod to how good of a writer you are that I did in fact, want more... I was a little confused about which character was which... I thought we were with one then it sort of insinuated that we weren't... maybe I just struggled to follow but it stuck out to me. Overall, pretty much this whole piece was a highlight in technical proficiency, just content was a little lacking. I REALLY wish it wasn't and that this was a fully fleshed out piece like the Scar of old. This was a teaser, of sorts. Still, good job overall. Highlights: "The main garden, tainted; A grave warning to those exposed to the rain. large clumps of stained carpets enclosed by rustic rows of aged faucets eroded by hail and beating sun. Roses, ranging from red to strange sludge of leafy lumps Spring had come and gone, what's left were staunch aromas..." - This imagery was insane. I felt like it should've been shot in 4k and zoomed in on as an art piece. That's just the feel I got from this section. Inno - This was a dope read. The depth of this piece was just stunning. Not as technically sound as Scar's, as there was some choppy moments, but I felt your overall message was clearer and, ironically, actually deeper. I felt Scar stayed on the surface of things and really nailed it in that way, but you went to the depths where it's dark and cold yet managed to make it shine. Your verse was overall just more ambitious. Highlights: "designer feelings lead to hand made atrocity stitching togther individuals with the finger tips of many. poor for the poor, rich for the wealthy; rats to there own race... Spinning their wheels to the next blasphemy...." - Deep. "While the struggle reflects insecurities to a broken mirror seeing themselves not as a sinner never looking past their own reflections. So if beauty stands amongst the beholders... ...we are perfection." - Damn. Felt. "In an ocean of lives, they deem themselves waves. above all." - Nice closer. Good battle guys, a close one for sure Scar made a nice comeback but cut himself short. Inno was on his A game here from start to finish but wasn't as precise. I prefered Scar's technical approach but liked Inno's verse a little better overall. Just deeper and not as much of a teaser... Razor close for me, but... Vote - Inno Thanks fellas. __________________ ..Passed the Present and Future..