WEEK 10: Inno vs Johnny 6feet - 6 WINS

Adverse · 06-16-2020, 01:12 AM

This is honestly a tough one to call and migjt end up based on personal preference in the end, both of you fellas had painted nice scenes and had very different approaches to the picture topic.

Johnny:
Really liked the parallels you drew here to an artist, i don't think people on the outside looking realize just how much of a person's heart and soul goes into making art. It's definitely a labor of love and at times even thankless, and pushing on doing it especially without recognition can definitely feel like shouldering the world. My favorite parts of your verse were:

I put my sweat into the scenery, my blood into the sound desk
It's been a million miles and running but I'm not homeward bound yet
Every line under a microscope, every pause a quiet lesson
Every word; an autopsy to find the perfect inflection

&

Weariness is my bitter friend, his jokes are gallows humour

"Stop choking on your pride boy! You should've swallowed sooner!
No sleep? No excuse! You're sick? Suck it up!
It's 3 months until this tour ends and no-one gives a fuck!"

My only particular gripe with your verse is the ending just didn't feel definitive enough? It was just kinda open-ended and i digg that to an extent but something about it just feels awkward to me idk might be nitpicking.

Inno:
Vintage Inno here, haven't really seen this level of writing from you yet in the GWL but you are a legend for a reason, i liked the vague kind of storytelling here, it felt like a dream sequence being played out in front of me as the reader, good colorful language and just painted an overall nice picture. Though i think your rhyming is kind of (purposefully) spotty and makes it hard to catch a definite rhythm, but there's definitely an underlying one there. Thought This Was whimsical and cool, favorite parts were

Sifting through expectations trying to hold on to one
But they keep slipping like grains of sand through my hands
I know eventually everything equates to a sum
Although for me it’s like counting to a million with one hand
With sword and shield I march the battlefields of life

A reminder to never give in to fears and my doubts
A truth so deep most of us don’t dare to drown in let alone swim
Instead I carry this weight around to make atlas proud
Not realizing how strong I am I pretend to be weak

This was a cool battle and a cool clash of styles so to speak, i didn't miss voting on these GWL battles because they always seem so evenly matched that it's annoyjng in a way. Lol. Anyways for me i was a bigger fan of Inno here, i liked both tales but Inno grabbed my attention more and resonated a bit more with me personally, but like i said a lot of it is preference. Great job to both!

V/Inno

06-16-2020, 01:12 AM	#8
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,752 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446146	This is honestly a tough one to call and migjt end up based on personal preference in the end, both of you fellas had painted nice scenes and had very different approaches to the picture topic. Johnny: Really liked the parallels you drew here to an artist, i don't think people on the outside looking realize just how much of a person's heart and soul goes into making art. It's definitely a labor of love and at times even thankless, and pushing on doing it especially without recognition can definitely feel like shouldering the world. My favorite parts of your verse were: I put my sweat into the scenery, my blood into the sound desk It's been a million miles and running but I'm not homeward bound yet Every line under a microscope, every pause a quiet lesson Every word; an autopsy to find the perfect inflection & Weariness is my bitter friend, his jokes are gallows humour "Stop choking on your pride boy! You should've swallowed sooner! No sleep? No excuse! You're sick? Suck it up! It's 3 months until this tour ends and no-one gives a fuck!" My only particular gripe with your verse is the ending just didn't feel definitive enough? It was just kinda open-ended and i digg that to an extent but something about it just feels awkward to me idk might be nitpicking. Inno: Vintage Inno here, haven't really seen this level of writing from you yet in the GWL but you are a legend for a reason, i liked the vague kind of storytelling here, it felt like a dream sequence being played out in front of me as the reader, good colorful language and just painted an overall nice picture. Though i think your rhyming is kind of (purposefully) spotty and makes it hard to catch a definite rhythm, but there's definitely an underlying one there. Thought This Was whimsical and cool, favorite parts were Sifting through expectations trying to hold on to one But they keep slipping like grains of sand through my hands I know eventually everything equates to a sum Although for me it’s like counting to a million with one hand With sword and shield I march the battlefields of life A reminder to never give in to fears and my doubts A truth so deep most of us don’t dare to drown in let alone swim Instead I carry this weight around to make atlas proud Not realizing how strong I am I pretend to be weak This was a cool battle and a cool clash of styles so to speak, i didn't miss voting on these GWL battles because they always seem so evenly matched that it's annoyjng in a way. Lol. Anyways for me i was a bigger fan of Inno here, i liked both tales but Inno grabbed my attention more and resonated a bit more with me personally, but like i said a lot of it is preference. Great job to both! V/Inno