Week 4: SMaSh (1-1) vs. FGR (1-2) - FGR WINS

[Blue Bayou]

NBL Season XIV

Rules

Due Dates:
• Verses are due THURSDAY by 11:59 PM PST.
• Goal is for voting to end Saturdays
• Battles that lack votes may close later.
• One sided battles may get closed early.
• Extensions are 24 hours, anything longer is a DQ and/or Double DQ
• To avoid issues, you are encouraged to PM me your verse in advance


Line Limit:
• Min. = 10 lines
• Max. = 20 lines
• The max. can be higher if different is agreed upon by both.


Voting:
• I do not have time to count links, and I know nobody wants to post them because it’s tedious. Do your part and vote or I’m making house calls.

General Rules:
• 1st person to post can't edit after the 2nd person posts.
• 2nd person to post can't edit after a vote has been made.
• Feeding = DQ.
• Recycling = DQ.
• Biting = DQ.
• No freeposting, swaying or bitching.
• Unless a picture battle is agreed upon,
linking to your opponent's picture or posting it
means you will disqualified.
• A check in isn't mandatory, but it is encouraged.
• If your opponent doesn't check in,
you still have to post a verse.
• Competitors should agree on a line limit in their check in.
• If no line limit is agreed on, then the 2nd person to post
must match the 1st person's line amount.

@SMaSH
@FGR

[FGR]

Check..going 10

[SMaSH]

Lol we gotta battle again...

[FGR]

I would watch the shit talking... Before I grab the gat n confront him
Smash better run when I show up Oriole get shot like im bird hunting
All you'll see is the silencer flashing when I shoot that nine w/ a passion
The strappado so much damage you'll wish you were tortured in that fashion
I seen ur 3way last week. There was no creative lines in the shit you flowed
you had so many Dull punches I totally forget that dude never showed
You don't come off as scary. Im seeing no tough guy connection
If smash is alarming to me.. he's blowing a rape whistle n pointing in my direction
Your family lives in shambles. Poor... disgusting..covered in bodily fuild
His house is such a hole in the wall, for 30 bucks his bitch will suck you thru it



@Blue Bayou I posted it.. change to open for votes plz

[SMaSH]

You got lucky in that video battle eventually you bound to see....
In a 2 man race you coming in last so there is no way you can ever tie a round wit me
Let it set in....... I'm bout to bring pain to this rookie,N I should be the tiger king not cuz I bring a tekken...its cuz I should be paid for cagin this pussy
Your times up mister, I'll break ya spine up pimpin
You can show bravery but you'll wind up dippin cuz I'm quick to End courage because the nine uplifting
He didn't wanna expose his offspring to the culture yall... That's a surly misdirection
His kids will never see his rappin gift.... So no Early Christmas presents
One uppercut and this dude rocked....visually it'll be a cool shot
So I'll be creative and treat it like facebook and leave f Inna blue box

[Neighbor]

FGR had a solid verse; no real misses, but nothing crazy hard-hitting

Smash had his opener & the 'End courage' bar was a stretch, but I gave it to him for the multi's/wording

Good showing from both

v/ FGR

[Answer]

I would watch the shit talking... Before I grab the gat n confront him
Smash better run when I show up Oriole get shot like im bird hunting

execution is decent, but im not a fan of this wp phonetically

All you'll see is the silencer flashing when I shoot that nine w/ a passion
The strappado so much damage you'll wish you were tortured in that fashion

oriole was reasonably close to being acceptable, but this one is wayyy off phonetically

I seen ur 3way last week. There was no creative lines in the shit you flowed
you had so many Dull punches I totally forget that dude never showed

this is funny, you could've done more with it but I like it for the comedic factor

You don't come off as scary. Im seeing no tough guy connection
If smash is alarming to me.. he's blowing a rape whistle n pointing in my direction

nahhh not feeling the execution here

Your family lives in shambles. Poor... disgusting..covered in bodily fuild
His house is such a hole in the wall, for 30 bucks his bitch will suck you thru it

decent closer


smash

You got lucky in that video battle eventually you bound to see....
In a 2 man race you coming in last so there is no way you can ever tie a round wit me

nah I'm not really feeling this

Let it set in....... I'm bout to bring pain to this rookie,
N I should be the tiger king not cuz I bring a tekken...its cuz I should be paid for cagin this pussy

execution needs a bit of work, and idk saying you're gonna cage your opponent as an insult just doesnt land with me

Your times up mister, I'll break ya spine up pimpin
You can show bravery but you'll wind up dippin cuz I'm quick to End courage because the nine uplifting

okay concept, the idea could've been extended better

He didn't wanna expose his offspring to the culture yall... That's a surly misdirection
His kids will never see his rappin gift.... So no Early Christmas presents

nahhhh this is an ancient concept that's been done way too many times

One uppercut and this dude rocked....visually it'll be a cool shot
So I'll be creative and treat it like facebook and leave f Inna blue box

same as above, the "put you in a box" concept is really played out. I do like that you tried to take an original angle by making it relevant to your opponent, but if you're gonna pull something like this it REALLY has to be a bar with out of the box thinking, no pun intended

overall FGR just had fresher concepts and better execution/wording. Especially with respect to wordplays like "Strappado" please make sure you research the appropriate pronunciation. That kind of thing is a misstep that will lose you a close battle. For smash, I'm not sure how long you've been around text. For people who have been doing it for like 10+ years, I think most of them know to stay away from concepts like wrapping gift because we've read them a million times, but if you're somewhat new then I understand that it's difficult to know what is and isn't taboo. Best advice I can offer (unless you go back and read a lot of old battles) is to try to dig deeper for things that are unique and unlikely to have been done before.

for now, mvgt - FGR

[Ryno]

First 3 were great from mir
VS
Smash reads like more of an audio head than text.
Wasn’t fond of the wording here. Concepts were
Eh too

V/FGR

[Aura]

All you'll see is the silencer flashing when I shoot that nine w/ a passion
The strappado so much damage you'll wish you were tortured in that fashion
I seen ur 3way last week. There was no creative lines in the shit you flowed
you had so many Dull punches I totally forget that dude never showed
You don't come off as scary. Im seeing no tough guy connection
If smash is alarming to me.. he's blowing a rape whistle n pointing in my direction

Vs.

So no Early Christmas presents
One uppercut and this dude rocked....visually it'll be a cool shot
So I'll be creative and treat it like facebook and leave f Inna blue box




one-sided battle
Vote-FGR

[NoetiC]

FGR:

You don't come off as scary. Im seeing no tough guy connection
If smash is alarming to me.. he's blowing a rape whistle n pointing in my direction

cool

Your family lives in shambles. Poor... disgusting..covered in bodily fuild
His house is such a hole in the wall, for 30 bucks his bitch will suck you thru it

dope


not a fan of lines that talk about guns or how hard someone is, because its the internet and most of these lines just come across as filler to me


smash:

One uppercut and this dude rocked....visually it'll be a cool shot
So I'll be creative and treat it like facebook and leave f Inna blue box

ok

your flow is unnatural to me, those long lines seemed to drag on a bit too long to keep the flow intact


vote FRG for better flow and more creativity, i didnt see much stand out to me from smash's verse

[Blue Bayou]

FGR wins