does it make me bad that I want to get into a fight?

[Immolate]

Originally Posted by uh-oh

its not weird. i've lived in this state for awhile now. i end up just keeping that anger inside and turning it into self hatred and basking in the depression of it all.

the logic of fighting doesn't make sense anymore. there is 0 payoff. but if your anything like me the euphoria of winning is quickly replaced with the feeling of being the biggest piece of shit ever and then the faces never leave your psyche and you gotta live with the fact you bodied someone when you didn't have to.

might just be me tho

happy january

yeah, as long as they deserve it you won't have that problem i dont think. idk, maybe some people really do

the last fight i got in, i snatched this little methhead kid out of a car roof. i was drunk as fuck and my girl's daughter (i was dating a MILF) said he dosed her. now in retrospect that probably wasn't true and he didn't deserve it.... wait that kinda undermines my whole point doesnt it

cuz he didnt deserve it and i STILL don't give a shit lmao.


to the topic though, these feelings of aggression are perfectly natural. especially if you come from a hyper-aggressive environment like we do, Ouch. not sure how into gangs and shit u were out there but where i'm from you're always on edge and just ready to fuck someone's shit up. it took a long time to lose that state of being

at this point i still love to fight. i literally just woke up from a dream an hour ago, where i was beating the shit out of this dude next door. i wanna fight that dude sooo bad.

because there is so much anger & pain inside, and it is a relief to let it out. especially into someones face, and ESPECIALLY when they deserve it

the way i deal with the anger is by making violent music and listening to violent music. today if u ask that same neighbor what i was doing last night, he'll tell u he heard me seething with rage and shit i bet. rapping really loudly to 50 cent - heat, and shit.


tldr: it's natural