LMAO WHY IS IT EVERYONE FROM PR/B-BOYS TURNED OUT TO BE A FUCKING WEIRDO, THOUGH?

[sral]

Originally Posted by Spleth

That all sounds less weird than losing your job because your female coworkers thought you were going to rape and kill them after discovering your involvement in the snuff film industry

lmao here’s some facts for you based on my extensive work in the field of post mortems and death, though.

Your wife Beth Canfield is approximately 5’9” and weighs roughly 336 pounds, right? Her left titty at least does.

This gives her a Body Mass Index as below:
BMI = 49.62

She is in the Obese range if anyone hasn’t already seen a pic and been hit by the abso-fucking-lutely obvious.

The definition of obesity as the basic cause of death is associated with larger thickness of the abdominal adipose panicle, being 8.5 cm (P = .001) the best measurement, according to the receiver operating characteristic curve.

Let’s look at some other probable contributions a second though, Hypertensive cardiopathy (P = .001), ischemic cardiopathy (P = .003), coronary (P = .008)/systemic (P = .005) atherosclerosis, and arterial (P = .014)/arteriolar (P = .027) nephrosclerosis are associated with the diagnosis of MS.

Steatohepatitis is associated with the diagnosis of obesity (P = .030); however, its association with the thickness of the abdominal adipose panicle is not statistically significant (P = .211).

What does this mean? Basically, Beth is fat as fuck and I’d bet a stack your wife’s liver looks like pate. (Don’t tell her, she’ll probably eat it.)

If she doesn’t die of obesity, which she probably will in all likelihood let’s be real, it will certainly be a contributing factor towards her death. At the least. Fatwife literally eating herself into an early grave right now. If you truly gave shit about the mother of your two children’s health, a clean healthy diet wouldn’t go amiss. Kale isn’t the work of the devil you cornfed fucking degenerate morons. Go running for an hour a day. Join a gym. Do starjumps in the living room with your children and pretend you care instead of sitting on your already sizeable asses lunching on processed food, sloth and diabetes.

You’ve just had a second child I’m told, so now is as good a time as ever to pull your fat fucking fingers out and make a difference. For your youngests sake. I say this with him in mind, as a father of two, you don’t want to watch them grow up to replicate your laziness. You’ve piled the pounds on too since you got married truth be told. You’ve practically doubled in size since 2014. Your wife is built like a landrover and you’re a Sherman tank.

How do you even have sex, tbh?

You must be the bottom. I can’t imagine her taking your weight even with that stomach to cushion it. Reinforced marital bed I presume. Anyway, I’m hoping things go better for you in the new year before your wife’s inevitable death from hypertension, heart failure, cardiopathy or obesity. Be the change.

Your on-set obesity prolly a factor that’s resulted in your depression and subsequent anger toward me of recent also. So remember, 2020 vision going forward. Stop snacking already.

Happy new year faggot.