Summer Classic Topical: Round 1: 4. Synacog Vs. 13. Pharaohs Army [Pharaoh 5-0]

MMLP · 07-24-2019, 09:10 AM

Sina – right off the bat, imo the long line/ setup isn’t appealing, takes too long to get the ‘punch’ if you will, its kinda off putting, got a rap royalty feel to it haha. that’s just purely preference though, but if the content is dope, hopefully it shines through.
dark tone, some of the wording and phrases were pretty dope, flow was maintained and made it easy reading from that respect but the ending kinda fell flat
feels like you built up all this momentum n energy of punishment and brutality forthcoming only to be simply told, “yeah your basically gonna pay for your sins for being stupid” I dunno. Ill give it another read and see how I feel!

less is more is probs my only real constructive critique. first ive seen from u, so I could be totally wrong (on your style)

PA – very direct, tackling a hard-hitting concept, from the narrative of someone in times of old where it was overlooked! I found the piece intriguing and never strayed off or found myself absent from it. I like the ending in a sense that were left with no real conclusion, just to wonder as to how we as people will tackle this problem for future generations. Got a che Guevara spirit/ rosa parks feel to it. No, technically it wasn’t a masterpiece but it really didn’t need to be. Simple and effective, as I said with sinacog, less is more.
as good as ive seen from you tbh

I gotta vote PA here, wording was a lil more basic compared to Sinacogs but piece was more enticing throughout.

Good battle

07-24-2019, 09:10 AM	#1
MMLP Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 614 Battle Record: 15-16 Champed - Write Week 9 Rep Power: 9768091	Sina – right off the bat, imo the long line/ setup isn’t appealing, takes too long to get the ‘punch’ if you will, its kinda off putting, got a rap royalty feel to it haha. that’s just purely preference though, but if the content is dope, hopefully it shines through. dark tone, some of the wording and phrases were pretty dope, flow was maintained and made it easy reading from that respect but the ending kinda fell flat feels like you built up all this momentum n energy of punishment and brutality forthcoming only to be simply told, “yeah your basically gonna pay for your sins for being stupid” I dunno. Ill give it another read and see how I feel! less is more is probs my only real constructive critique. first ive seen from u, so I could be totally wrong (on your style) PA – very direct, tackling a hard-hitting concept, from the narrative of someone in times of old where it was overlooked! I found the piece intriguing and never strayed off or found myself absent from it. I like the ending in a sense that were left with no real conclusion, just to wonder as to how we as people will tackle this problem for future generations. Got a che Guevara spirit/ rosa parks feel to it. No, technically it wasn’t a masterpiece but it really didn’t need to be. Simple and effective, as I said with sinacog, less is more. as good as ive seen from you tbh I gotta vote PA here, wording was a lil more basic compared to Sinacogs but piece was more enticing throughout. Good battle