05-28-2019, 02:13 AM | #1 |
living
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,465
Battle Record: 33-18
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - AOWL Season 1
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 4
- Write Week V
- GWL Season 1
Rep Power: 77606676 |
Atticus
the
antisocialite - leave me to my own devices, floating ice cubes. open microphony, type to never take his own advice moldarama prototypist, passe en prose ebola virus cola/rye, the polarizing. torn between his low and highest slow to rise, the overnighter, dreary-eyes and swollen sinus mocha latte journal writer, thumbing through these old recitals music metal, melty petals, molten magma met Geppetto pulling on my puppet strings at every level mirror plate my amaretto. china case my fragile devil shatterproof his shadow, still i cast it any chance i get to brain tissue, splattered on his past credentials. blacken pencils sobbing at his master's headstone bronze statuette guard pharaoh's temple iridescence accidental born to be a fucking ghost most nights i sit and wonder if i'm swimming in a sunken boat fist around a thunderbolt our skin is electric maximalist, lost within his possessions minimal messages make a lasting impression yet retain her every spoken word to fashion a weapon pen encephalitis mental vat of potential here i stand at attention. marveling the labyrinth i crept through Atticus Finch, plaintiff and a defendant too busy setting a watch to live his sentences dm
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Zack Wicks for president |
06-02-2019, 06:47 AM | #2 |
Almighty
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 580
Battle Record: 2-3
Rep Power: 428840 |
This was dope.
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06-03-2019, 07:43 PM | #3 |
obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,716
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599678 |
pretty tired of giving the only
viable feedback smfh |
06-04-2019, 03:10 AM | #4 |
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,962
Battle Record: 6 - 14
Rep Power: 0 |
our skin is electric
sounds like you're trying to sound like a deep fancy writer |
06-04-2019, 09:58 AM | #5 |
living
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,465
Battle Record: 33-18
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - AOWL Season 1
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 4
- Write Week V
- GWL Season 1
Rep Power: 77606676 |
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Zack Wicks for president |
06-05-2019, 03:41 AM | #6 |
Satan
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 2,141
Battle Record: 4-25
Rep Power: 8129212 |
I'll give you feed-back.
I thought this was a excellent piece. Full of eclectic good writing; with nice prose and harmony. Good rhyme scheme and rhyme meter here. You're quite the gifted writer, and I enjoy reading your writtens. Good work on this piece. The 'Swimming in a sunken boat' line was pretty nice. Good work, Dead Man. Keep writing! |
06-24-2019, 11:35 AM | #7 |
obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,716
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599678 |
sounds like ur stoop af stfu idiyote
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06-24-2019, 06:44 PM | #8 |
NJ Devil
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 12,042
Battle Record: Who Cares
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Rep Power: 84181417 |
Can u do a dumbed down version one day
When u rap simple it seems deeper Maybe it’s cuz I’m dumb
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Bed stuy fly Bushwick sick East ny walk |
06-24-2019, 10:10 PM | #9 |
SYRACUSE
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,033
Battle Record: 31-37
Champed - Write Night II
- Alias Topical Tournament
Rep Power: 4743544 |
Gepetto molten magma line could be GOAT... I see papp smeari viewing this and I'd eagerly like to get his perspective on this open Mic piece...
i think you're a natural psychologist tbh.I'm thinking of doing that on some veritas shit just to heal mother fuckers psyches and shit, help them to individuate and what not. I'd be nice with it. You'd be nice with it too. That doctorate would be at the egress of my estranged grandfather's inherited fortune. Probably not but whatever. Does it all even matter in the end? We're insignificant tubes putting things in one end and having shit come out the other. All fighting to be the top type of tube. Lmao fucking comical bro considering. If he hooks me up tho id just slide in with these college bitches naw mean and psychoanalyse the easiest pathway to the panties and shit. Pay the profs ego homage she prob just stamps your shit with As and Bs without looking. If it happens I'd be thinking of you as I get this degree and cavort with psychology thots. Maybe I'll move to Mississippi and set up my practice right next to veritas with an awning that states haven for sovereign atheists. you have a high IQ I think like 140.
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UNIFIED THEORY |
06-27-2019, 02:44 PM | #10 |
DOHpe since 02'
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Surrounded by white ppl
Posts: 14,693
Battle Record: 43-24
Champed - Netcees Battle League
- 1-2 Punch Onslaught
- 1-2 Punch League
- Hot or Thot Roast
- Hot or Thot 2018
- Fight Night 11
- NPL Roast
Rep Power: 34230531 |
This is the equivalent of Mr Miyagi casually waltzing into the dojo & doing a triple axel Ostrich kick just to let niggas know he still a shooter out here, b
This shit fire and a lot of it was trademark Dead man .. so much so? That less than halfway in .. I’m like “ here this nigga go “ xD lmaoo good read man
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It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you
Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople |
06-27-2019, 02:46 PM | #11 |
DOHpe since 02'
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Surrounded by white ppl
Posts: 14,693
Battle Record: 43-24
Champed - Netcees Battle League
- 1-2 Punch Onslaught
- 1-2 Punch League
- Hot or Thot Roast
- Hot or Thot 2018
- Fight Night 11
- NPL Roast
Rep Power: 34230531 |
Btw I lowkey thought he said his pen had elephantitus for a second xD
Would be better in retrospect lmaooo das MY ONLY CRITICISM
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It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you
Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople |
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