Adonis 0-1 vs Brokenhal0 0-1 (open for votes)

King Ra. · 05-10-2019, 12:23 AM

@Adonis: my man. You know this kinda stuff is right up my alley right? Loved the flow of this piece. Smooth, precise. You strung simple words together to create a beautiful imagery & descriptions of the hands of Gods molding their creation only to watch the ones they create bring destruction and madness upon themselves while going to war against their Creators. Very consistent from start to finish. The flow did kind of trip up a bit towards the end but nothing detrimental.

@brokenhal0: I love the swagger of your piece. Where Adonis was very intricate & precise, you were deliberate & free flowing. Your piece reminds me of one I wrote some years ago (Exit The Ice Cream Queens- you should check it out). Has that Wu Tang kinda vibe as you read it. I definitely would have liked a more in-depth look of how your character kicks ass, you know some kinda action sequence thrown in there. Nonetheless I liked the direction you took. It wasn't cleanly written as your opponent but definitely feeling the route you took.

It twas a good read from both of you. I liked the different directions you both took & honestly you couldn't go wrong with whatever preference you feeling here. MVGT: Adonis. Halo IMO was more creative in the direction he took, which was dope to read. I feel Adonis overall did a solid job especially with the consistency of his story and smooth writing.

Great job by both competitors.

05-10-2019, 12:23 AM	#6
King Ra. The Throne, The Crown Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,667 Battle Record: 21-35 Rep Power: 1932963	@Adonis: my man. You know this kinda stuff is right up my alley right? Loved the flow of this piece. Smooth, precise. You strung simple words together to create a beautiful imagery & descriptions of the hands of Gods molding their creation only to watch the ones they create bring destruction and madness upon themselves while going to war against their Creators. Very consistent from start to finish. The flow did kind of trip up a bit towards the end but nothing detrimental. @brokenhal0: I love the swagger of your piece. Where Adonis was very intricate & precise, you were deliberate & free flowing. Your piece reminds me of one I wrote some years ago (Exit The Ice Cream Queens- you should check it out). Has that Wu Tang kinda vibe as you read it. I definitely would have liked a more in-depth look of how your character kicks ass, you know some kinda action sequence thrown in there. Nonetheless I liked the direction you took. It wasn't cleanly written as your opponent but definitely feeling the route you took. It twas a good read from both of you. I liked the different directions you both took & honestly you couldn't go wrong with whatever preference you feeling here. MVGT: Adonis. Halo IMO was more creative in the direction he took, which was dope to read. I feel Adonis overall did a solid job especially with the consistency of his story and smooth writing. Great job by both competitors. __________________ Vetwork, bitches.