diablo 1-0 vs cereal 1-0 (open for votes) - last weeks

Adonis · 05-04-2019, 03:52 PM

I'm excited for this one

CK - I didn't like the use of "weighed" in first line, I guess I get the meaning behind it, its just awkward wording IMO. This was a weird concept though. I assume you're actually talking about the fehrer, but feel like I could also just be missing something. In any case, it was actually a heart-felt or quaint little piece, sort of a reverse view on Hitler spin. "Soaring through clouds like paint" I will admit, i don't fully get the concept, but that sounds dope nonetheless.

Lars - This has the vibe of a topical circa early 2,000's or so. You kept this short and to the point by adding references and different little turn of phrase type inserts. Ala “postage stamp & toothbrush mustache". Hell, you even had an ending that was almost shock value, but also worked well with the central theme as well as physical story. I enjoyed this, I wish I had some real asshole criticism, nothing would bring me more joy, but I don't even thing really negative to say.

Vote - So, while I do enjoy each read, I do think one was superior writing as a stand alone piece. Both of these verses were done in a playful and light manor. Both hit the mark, were short and too the point. One was more heart-felt and the other was more homage with a touch with a heavy touch of concepts within lines. So I fully enjoyed both here, I do feel like Lars had more of a deft style the combated well against CK's more linear take or execution rather. So with that said, two fun reads

Vote: Diablo

05-04-2019, 03:52 PM	#5
Adonis Tsk Tsk Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Beer Goggles Posts: 4,834 Battle Record: 36-34 Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association - NFL Pick'em 2016-17 Rep Power: 9946449	I'm excited for this one CK - I didn't like the use of "weighed" in first line, I guess I get the meaning behind it, its just awkward wording IMO. This was a weird concept though. I assume you're actually talking about the fehrer, but feel like I could also just be missing something. In any case, it was actually a heart-felt or quaint little piece, sort of a reverse view on Hitler spin. "Soaring through clouds like paint" I will admit, i don't fully get the concept, but that sounds dope nonetheless. Lars - This has the vibe of a topical circa early 2,000's or so. You kept this short and to the point by adding references and different little turn of phrase type inserts. Ala “postage stamp & toothbrush mustache". Hell, you even had an ending that was almost shock value, but also worked well with the central theme as well as physical story. I enjoyed this, I wish I had some real asshole criticism, nothing would bring me more joy, but I don't even thing really negative to say. Vote - So, while I do enjoy each read, I do think one was superior writing as a stand alone piece. Both of these verses were done in a playful and light manor. Both hit the mark, were short and too the point. One was more heart-felt and the other was more homage with a touch with a heavy touch of concepts within lines. So I fully enjoyed both here, I do feel like Lars had more of a deft style the combated well against CK's more linear take or execution rather. So with that said, two fun reads Vote: Diablo __________________ I'm tryna fuck like A-don-is TUPAC SHAKUR