There's A Bunny In The Moon

Nigma · 06-03-2013, 05:05 PM

I fully agree with @CopyPat (which made me realize I never fed his OM post lol brb) in termes of your rhyme scheme, it really made for a smooth and pleasant read. Deff above par in terms of complexity which is also a solid basis for any verse, and some of the subject matter was pretty dope too. Loved the image you began developing in this line "Prometheus status, Phoenix or Atlas...determine the feat.." Just feel that main thing this was missing was development of these images in the lines following, the stream of consciousness was very sporadic. Still enjoyed the read but thats something you can work on

06-03-2013, 05:05 PM	#5
Nigma The COAT... Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 1,723 Battle Record: 28-20 Champed - Art of Writing League (x3) Rep Power: 4595813	I fully agree with @CopyPat (which made me realize I never fed his OM post lol brb) in termes of your rhyme scheme, it really made for a smooth and pleasant read. Deff above par in terms of complexity which is also a solid basis for any verse, and some of the subject matter was pretty dope too. Loved the image you began developing in this line "Prometheus status, Phoenix or Atlas...determine the feat.." Just feel that main thing this was missing was development of these images in the lines following, the stream of consciousness was very sporadic. Still enjoyed the read but thats something you can work on __________________