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#1 |
White Earl
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Excuse me, miss..
What'd you say your name was? Guess its not that important In and out of so many lives ive forgotten what worth is My presence is worthless, but to me, her companies' gold Thats why i pay her, just to enter her circumference alone Love is a hoax, a ghost, ive never felt a touch in my soul Undressing her with my eyes, ive unbuttoned her clothes Velvet red zipper dress, her flesh is the loveliest tone I sense the scent of her vagina, with a touch of cologne Transparent pantyhose, rose, makeup brushed on her cheek The perfect amount of blush, she puckers up as she speaks Do with me as you please, its your dime, for an hour or more Aroused with the thought, of cumming in her stomache with force Ive done it before, raw dog, condom off, fuck like she's pure What she doesnt know, is how i love to punish my whores On your stomache i said, and bound her arms and legs to the bed Pulled my pouch out, of toys, now her blood will be shed Cutting deep enough, lethal cuts, shes yelling, cussing and stressed I just want to hear your cries, while i fuck you to death.. -Geno.
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-A.bove T.he R.est Last edited by Geno; 03-10-2018 at 05:21 AM. |
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#2 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: KW
Posts: 8
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Gruesome. Full of great imagery. Great read and thanks for the nightmares.
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#3 |
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 89
Rep Power: 4050152 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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I love the descriptiveness and the imagery. The circumference alone line was good but that scent of cologne line was really dope. That line alone really brought you into the story in a realistic way so to speak. I loved that line. The story took a brutal more hardcore approach which I don't mind at all. I actually enjoy reading these types of pieces. But the way your flow was and how you were wording things in the beginning I would have loved to see this go into a real topical. Maybe make it longer before you drastically turned it into a hardcore ending. But overall I liked this.
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#4 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 783
Battle Record: 2-1
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 19584278 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Crazy shit, bro. Shit went from poetic to sensual to seductive to freaky to masochistic to sadistic to psychopathic to homicidal real quick. Not something I would normally write about on my own. Well, I could. I kinda of have, actually. But, only because it was a topical battle. In any case, you did the subject justice. Your flow was spotless as it always is. The imagery was gruesome and true to life (per usual). Rhythm. Pacing. Scene setting. All checked. The only critic anyone could give you on this would perhaps be the vulgarity of the content. Then again, that was kind of the whole point. Well, yeah, classic Geno. Dark. Poetic. And finely executed. Write more. And even more. Peace.
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#5 |
White Earl
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Word. Ty, brosemetti sam
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-A.bove T.he R.est |
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#6 |
Upset Champion
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: West Mids
Posts: 3,861
Battle Record: 57-49
Accomplishments - 50 Wins
Champed - BA Rookie Tourney
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Will edit feed later. Good read broski
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