Infiltration vs. Problumatic - INFILTRATION WINS

Pinot Grij · 01-26-2018, 01:38 PM

Prob

All this capitalization and slashes and shit is just a distraction from your verse.. if your rhymes are solid, then you shouldn't need to caps them to point them out -- it'll have more effect on your reader if the rhyme comes together naturally as they read it. On the same note -- explaining your wordplay in brackets at the end of the line shows that the wordplay ain't good in the first place. The wordplay should speak for itself -- it be more effective as I read it and see how you constructed it. You never see battle rappers wshipering their wordplay into the mic after they spit their bar. It's just amateur.

As far as content goes, your passive infiltration line doesn't make sense. Madden line sounds cool but I don't get how "skipping the next drive" is a diss to your opponent. Arrow line.. I mean, I get that a bow and arrow go together, but I don't follow the context. Trump's Wall line was actually really cool. I don't like the identify body line, seems like a throwaway. Steal lines is played. Bishop line is cool. Closer is a throwaway.

Couple cool lines, but overdone execution and a lot of filler.

Inf

The opener clowning on his style coulda been a lot funnier -- could've really got outlandish and made it look stupid.

Conga session is a cool opener -- a lot at work in it.
Panama Canal is dope.
Peacoat is sickening lol but cool.
Fake snipe hunt -- not hitting for me, I loved the setup though and was expecting a harsh punch and it was a bit of a letdown for me.
Achromatic is cool wp.
Low Probability is a dope name flip

Vote -- Inf

01-26-2018, 01:38 PM	#12
Pinot Grij Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 863 Battle Record: 23-19 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night 2 - Write Week V - Netcees Battle League (2x) - Winter Topical II - 1-2 Punch league Rep Power: 29195064	Prob All this capitalization and slashes and shit is just a distraction from your verse.. if your rhymes are solid, then you shouldn't need to caps them to point them out -- it'll have more effect on your reader if the rhyme comes together naturally as they read it. On the same note -- explaining your wordplay in brackets at the end of the line shows that the wordplay ain't good in the first place. The wordplay should speak for itself -- it be more effective as I read it and see how you constructed it. You never see battle rappers wshipering their wordplay into the mic after they spit their bar. It's just amateur. As far as content goes, your passive infiltration line doesn't make sense. Madden line sounds cool but I don't get how "skipping the next drive" is a diss to your opponent. Arrow line.. I mean, I get that a bow and arrow go together, but I don't follow the context. Trump's Wall line was actually really cool. I don't like the identify body line, seems like a throwaway. Steal lines is played. Bishop line is cool. Closer is a throwaway. Couple cool lines, but overdone execution and a lot of filler. Inf The opener clowning on his style coulda been a lot funnier -- could've really got outlandish and made it look stupid. Conga session is a cool opener -- a lot at work in it. Panama Canal is dope. Peacoat is sickening lol but cool. Fake snipe hunt -- not hitting for me, I loved the setup though and was expecting a harsh punch and it was a bit of a letdown for me. Achromatic is cool wp. Low Probability is a dope name flip Vote -- Inf __________________ Topical C.R.E.A.M.