DEAD MAN: PLEASE

oats · 06-29-2017, 06:51 AM

awaken reciting passages i've dreamt in the night
i can't accept the fact i'm no exception in life
somebody else's problems don't exist. sho you right
nobody else is honest as we think. so we write
open microphone relational creating a kind
there's always soul to manifest. tapes to rewind

this was my favorite section. before that it seemed like you just started writing and fell into assonance and phrases that were fun and playful for you. after that it felt a little shoehorned to me tbh. this was more of an exercise to flush through ideas than a fully realized effort to me, which is mostly how I write rhymes these days so I'm not judging.

06-29-2017, 06:51 AM	#1
oats Steel Cut Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 5,084 Battle Record: 19-10 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Fight Night LXXXIV - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 79005428	awaken reciting passages i've dreamt in the night i can't accept the fact i'm no exception in life somebody else's problems don't exist. sho you right nobody else is honest as we think. so we write open microphone relational creating a kind there's always soul to manifest. tapes to rewind this was my favorite section. before that it seemed like you just started writing and fell into assonance and phrases that were fun and playful for you. after that it felt a little shoehorned to me tbh. this was more of an exercise to flush through ideas than a fully realized effort to me, which is mostly how I write rhymes these days so I'm not judging. __________________ You should be water