Week 1: Legion (0-0) vs. Frank (0-0) - FRANK WINS 3-2

MMLP · 12-21-2016, 05:04 AM

Frank – I struggled to get into this man, your flow is usually maintained with an unmatched blistering rhyme pace that is somewhat structured. But in this, a lot of the multies didn’t go for me and pace/flow was lost. Diction, storytelling and imagery was the better of the two no doubt but I kinda got lost n began to lose interest around 10 lines in, felt like it unnecessarily dragged. The spin at the end was good, the whole piece was written in such a way that I didn’t see it coming, it would have hit harder had I not already seen legion’s twist.

Legion – luckily I read your verse before I even looked at the topic (before frank had posted) and the twist hit hard, really dope. For some reason ‘wide beaks’ & ‘webbed feet’ never raised any suspicion. I laughed at the end and was in awe when reading back at your verse. The parallels, the structure, the lead up and then the payoff was crazy good. What’s even more impressive is that this seems like it took no more than 30mins to write. My first time reading something from you, I like your style. Cool piece.

You both hit the topic a little too direct with relevant twists that the pieces needed. Legion’s approach was simple and effective making it seem better executed, everything in the verse seem to have its purpose.
Last minute comedic twists, that tie in perfectly and bring purpose to everything written before it… is EXACTLY the type of thing that wins me over.
I was caught off guard by both endings, I genuinely LOL’d at the end of legion’s verse. So taking everything into consideration, he gets my vote.
Good battle lads!

12-21-2016, 05:04 AM	#1
MMLP Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 614 Battle Record: 15-16 Champed - Write Week 9 Rep Power: 9768091	Frank – I struggled to get into this man, your flow is usually maintained with an unmatched blistering rhyme pace that is somewhat structured. But in this, a lot of the multies didn’t go for me and pace/flow was lost. Diction, storytelling and imagery was the better of the two no doubt but I kinda got lost n began to lose interest around 10 lines in, felt like it unnecessarily dragged. The spin at the end was good, the whole piece was written in such a way that I didn’t see it coming, it would have hit harder had I not already seen legion’s twist. Legion – luckily I read your verse before I even looked at the topic (before frank had posted) and the twist hit hard, really dope. For some reason ‘wide beaks’ & ‘webbed feet’ never raised any suspicion. I laughed at the end and was in awe when reading back at your verse. The parallels, the structure, the lead up and then the payoff was crazy good. What’s even more impressive is that this seems like it took no more than 30mins to write. My first time reading something from you, I like your style. Cool piece. You both hit the topic a little too direct with relevant twists that the pieces needed. Legion’s approach was simple and effective making it seem better executed, everything in the verse seem to have its purpose. Last minute comedic twists, that tie in perfectly and bring purpose to everything written before it… is EXACTLY the type of thing that wins me over. I was caught off guard by both endings, I genuinely LOL’d at the end of legion’s verse. So taking everything into consideration, he gets my vote. Good battle lads!