Week 1: Legion (0-0) vs. Frank (0-0) - FRANK WINS 3-2

Razah · 12-20-2016, 12:43 PM

Frank, I'm glad I got a widescreen monitor, fits your verse perfectly. I'm always impressed & disappointed with your verses, most of the time. It's like I like the words you used to rhyme, the rhyme schemes, internals, adjectives used & how they're very descriptive and can paint a picture, but then I get bored. I feel like you streettcchhh somethings out too much. It's like the movies that are just a liiitttlleee too long. Also, I counted how many syllables were in one line, and it was 30. I feel like that's wayyyy too much to have a consistent smooth flow. What really helps is the amount of rhyme schemes / switch ups / internals you can fit into a line, but overall, what saves you usually is the story told. This time, I wasn't a huge fan.

Legion, I dunno if I've read a verse from you before or not, *shrugs. I feel like both of you guys went quite literal as far as your topic was concerned. While reading Legion's verse, it gave me a more, "rap me" type of verse. I don't know why I got a 'battle' feel from the verse, I can't put a finger on that, but I did. The verse felt kind of hood, to be honest. Lol. At first, I thought you were going to use that as a metaphor sort of, but then I saw it was just going directly after the topic.

Weird battle, both attacked the topic kind of the same way, except Frank was technically better, as far as mechanics go. Although I'll never be a fan of Frank fitting a whole speech into a bar, this time around, although he's told better stories, still did enough to get my vote.

vFrank

12-20-2016, 12:43 PM	#4
Razah rockkFresh Join Date: Apr 2015 Location: Chicago. Posts: 1,088 Battle Record: 8-10 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 11328545	Frank, I'm glad I got a widescreen monitor, fits your verse perfectly. I'm always impressed & disappointed with your verses, most of the time. It's like I like the words you used to rhyme, the rhyme schemes, internals, adjectives used & how they're very descriptive and can paint a picture, but then I get bored. I feel like you streettcchhh somethings out too much. It's like the movies that are just a liiitttlleee too long. Also, I counted how many syllables were in one line, and it was 30. I feel like that's wayyyy too much to have a consistent smooth flow. What really helps is the amount of rhyme schemes / switch ups / internals you can fit into a line, but overall, what saves you usually is the story told. This time, I wasn't a huge fan. Legion, I dunno if I've read a verse from you before or not, *shrugs. I feel like both of you guys went quite literal as far as your topic was concerned. While reading Legion's verse, it gave me a more, "rap me" type of verse. I don't know why I got a 'battle' feel from the verse, I can't put a finger on that, but I did. The verse felt kind of hood, to be honest. Lol. At first, I thought you were going to use that as a metaphor sort of, but then I saw it was just going directly after the topic. Weird battle, both attacked the topic kind of the same way, except Frank was technically better, as far as mechanics go. Although I'll never be a fan of Frank fitting a whole speech into a bar, this time around, although he's told better stories, still did enough to get my vote. vFrank