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05-18-2013, 12:17 AM
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#6 |
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Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 88
Battle Record: 0-1
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Wow this was pretty dope...Very descriptive man and was very amazed how u held it all together...Character progression along with climaxing the story...
It was well written and the rhymes weren't dull like they were at rap royalty when people tried to do these stories...It stayed on point and flowed well...Altho I thought there were a little hiccups with it but nothing horrid...Ur gonna get that no matter what in pieces like this... I have seen a lot of work from u and this is prolly the dopest...Just because it stayed on topic and was completely consistent throughout the piece which is hard to do sometimes...It was schemed so well which was nice too see...Didnt use crazy Multies which I know u like doing as well...Just very thought out concepts in each line... The best part about this is the transitions were so smooth and every line connected together...A great fucking story with a great message man... Now my only problem and what I wanted...Was some type of twist, u had like a subtle close which wasnt bad...Like hey I'm a heroine addict and I will be the next day as well...I get it but I would of liked to see some creative little twist...Maybe it's me being picky but even with what u wrote which was long...I still desired more lol even tho it was a book... Nonetheless this was a great read bro...thanks for the feed
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Delirious Nomads
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