RD 1: Soulstice vs Pent uP - PENT UP WINS!

Cimmerian · 09-05-2016, 05:38 PM

So, I read the topic as the balance or tug of war between the heart and the mind.

Pent Up

I interpreted Pent's take on the topic as the tug of war between wants and needs, materialism vs. pragmatism. Shades of sub-prime mortgage, the purchase of goods, keeping up with the Joneses, etc. The writing was good. Some parts through me off. For example, "stacked cash is unfavorable" and "Effing garage."

Overall, a good verse.

Soulstice

You wrote a very imaginative story. But I had trouble finding the tie-in to the assigned topic. Was Shirakh the tight-rope walker? Some good writing here. The story was dense and at times, my tiny brain could not follow it.

A good verse here too, but I am going to vote for Pent Up because I felt he wrote closer to the topic in a way that I could follow more easily.

Vote: Pent Up

09-05-2016, 05:38 PM	#9
Cimmerian Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2013 Posts: 142 Rep Power: 2933499	So, I read the topic as the balance or tug of war between the heart and the mind. Pent Up I interpreted Pent's take on the topic as the tug of war between wants and needs, materialism vs. pragmatism. Shades of sub-prime mortgage, the purchase of goods, keeping up with the Joneses, etc. The writing was good. Some parts through me off. For example, "stacked cash is unfavorable" and "Effing garage." Overall, a good verse. Soulstice You wrote a very imaginative story. But I had trouble finding the tie-in to the assigned topic. Was Shirakh the tight-rope walker? Some good writing here. The story was dense and at times, my tiny brain could not follow it. A good verse here too, but I am going to vote for Pent Up because I felt he wrote closer to the topic in a way that I could follow more easily. Vote: Pent Up