First S&G-flow verse ever, feedback is highly appreciated.

[dead man]

felt pretty elementary to me bro.. like i can understand its your first time trying to write like this but you came off pretty corny.

also MOMS and SON dont rhyme..

Inspire christian cunts to fire vision joints on the tracks like Pac's back rappin' with Pun.

i didnt get that at all..

But on the real and no shittin'; I'm the writer that put Dali to writtens,
Fuck the greats; I'm a dawg to these kittens.

this was my fav line out of this probably and it was pretty meh if im being honest.

i see you trying to develop a "Swag" through this personal sort of character development. shying away from your comfort zone and writing with confidence and power. there was distinct personality to this but i didn't really resonate.

your specs were there. rhyming ability is clear in all your work but i don't really feel it in a way that has any impact.

the viking striking lightning back in his face was kinda dope though. you have highlights, but as an entire piece i did not receive this verse nearly a well as your compadres above. it honestly was corny, even for a swag and flow verse which is pretty corny in itself.

ill keep reading man. thanks for this one.



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