The sky's the limit... Audio link included.

[Dove Dozer]

I wrote this rhyme as if I was applying for a job in the music industry,
thanks for reading and/or listening.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...songID=1302714


If you could give me a chance, I'll show that I'm worthy.
so what? I don't play sports, I own a few jerseys,
sure I don't fit the image, I'm honest and real,
And I can rap about a topic that alot of you feel.
so if I hafta stay for overtime, workin a sweat,
I wont complain even if the pain is hurtin my neck,
A born emcee, I'll write for free, forget servin a cheque,
let me on the stage I've paid my dues, deservin respect.
See this job is so important, I've been standing in line,
thinkin up some shit to say cause you'll demand me to rhyme,
I pondered many jobs, and figured that maybe I could brick lay,
I even tried the hustlin, makin money the quick way.
Fourteen hour shifts, no sleep forget to hit hay,
music is the only job, I'll never take a sick day.
I'll give a hundred percent, till I'm off of a shift,
I'll never get hurt on the job except too often Im sick.
I'm always on time with the flow cause I'm prompt and I'm quick,
I've done this on my own for years and I aint stopped in a bit,
and I can battle, where I'm from we were boxin as kids,
whatever spot we could rip, flows would drop from the lid
See I need me to be up in this game and I'll run it,
If you'd believe me I know it sounds insane but I want it.
what you expect, I'm takin steps for you to listen to me,
I'm just an emcee with many dreams, stuck spittin for free.
But it's aiite, cause Im prepared... got my lunch in a box
I could be in for work a.s.a.p, punchin the clock
I aint the type that fronts to be somethin I'm not,
Im only strait forward cause I gotta hunch that Im hot..
you want me or not? cause what you see is what your gonna get
my brain's in action, the smart type, I think what I spit...
the main attraction is that I'm on the brink I could flip,
the pain's a fact son, but truth is, don't think that I'll quit,
If now's my opportunity, I best be seizing the moment,
money's not whats true to me I just believe that it's chosen...
my life's in such a grasp, it's cold, freezing and frozen,
so I'm about to break the mold these agencies'll be holding.
Cause aint nobody gonna hold me down from meeting my goals,
when the time comes that you sell out, I'ma reach for the gold,
watchin loads of fake emcees, sit and speak what they told,
its like I never thought I'd see the day where street shit gets old,
but people just fold, grinnin and givin into an industry..
representin these things that just glorify sin to me..
Its like they fail to recognise, that we teachin these children,
cause we gotta start a war when planes be reachin these buildings,
so all I can do is be me, cause people busy flauntin hate.
I wonder where this music's headed thats the shit I contemplate,
so where does an artist start, I should say for the love of it.
when bein real's the hardest part, you reppin some other shit.
your wallet, bank, and cars are all a part of your status,
and I aint even got upon the subject heart of what matters,
so if it means I hafta walk away I know that I tried,
although I got alot to say, can only hold it inside,
knowing deep down this is real, cause I rhyme for a reason..
so natural I never heard of someone dyin from breathin,
no matter the time or the season, I'll prolly wait in the crowd,
amongst the other people hungry, so if you hatin me now..
you can stay fake cause you proud, like you sold to the devil
and this year you can bet I'll be on a whole other level.
So I'ma end this now, by sayin I'm a rapper that brings a new
Style that needs to be heard even after this interview..

[Lotto Smirk]

loved the lyrics in this feel it could of been delivered better overall audio wise man but overall i really enjoyed it

[Adonis]

Forgott, will do tomorrow bro. My bad

[Pent uP]

WHY DONT U WRITE THE LYRICS LIKE YOURE TRYING TO WIN A BATTLE IN THE LEAGUE!?

[UnoQuattroThres]

I like the overall flow of it, it's definitely geared towards audio but the consistency of the direction in the topic is what really stands out. Not all over the place with it....Nice

[Dove Dozer]

Originally Posted by pohfig

WHY DONT U WRITE THE LYRICS LIKE YOURE TRYING TO WIN A BATTLE IN THE LEAGUE!?

Because I didn't write this for the league. And what exactly are you saying about the lyrics anyhow. Obviously it doesn't sound or read good to you. Thanks for upping this though.

[Pent uP]

I didnt even read it so dont take it the wrong way

[Dove Dozer]

Originally Posted by pohfig

I didnt even read it so dont take it the wrong way

its all good man.. if you didn't read it, then what is your feedback based on? Im just curious. Or where you just arbitrarily upping my thread. Cause your reply indicated you read it. You should read it at least lol

[Pent uP]

It was in reference to the intro/description

[FGR]

listening... beats cool...thought the intro was cool.. flow was on point..i feeli the delivery could have been more polished... got better as it went on but in the begining it sounded like u were trying to be funny on something that should have more emotion put into a voice..but like i said the more it played the more emotion started to show...i wish u would redo the first 10 bars n make them like the last..delivery wise... it would make this song better.. overall tho this was good.. iight mix..quality seemd to be cool.. didnt really fall off flow wise. cool track man

[IamBenT]

beat don't work for me here at work.

Great flow to this as usual, love how vivid and descriptive you get
when really painting the tale. Love the scenario created here, its all real and creative.

Just a dope piece all around, again can't wait to crack the audio of my kid ever gives me a chance at home lol

[Just Write]

This was dope my brotha, really enjoyed it. Flow was on point and it kept me entertained throu-out. Solid drop man, ill be back to quote fav lines at another time

[trap.]

This was pretty good. Didn't like the punch-ins that much. And you stuck with the same rhyme scheme the whole time, which got a bit tired. I didn't read along with the lyrics, just to see if I could hear everything and your words were crisp. I'd say 95% of the time they were. Sorry if I'm critiquing this too harsh, I do that. But I was feeling this, I'd play it a few times, which is a plus lol. Keep it up man.

[Fig]

This was nice man! Your flow was definitely on point, the lyrics worked very well too. You could use a little more presence on the mic. Im feeling this though, beat was alright.

[Dove Dozer]

Originally Posted by Figurative

This was nice man! Your flow was definitely on point, the lyrics worked very well too. You could use a little more presence on the mic. Im feeling this though, beat was alright.

Thanks man. In all honesty this is a little old. Ive upped the presence a tad since i dropped this..

[uh-oh]

yea i seen this was uploaded in 04. almost ten years old

you're aighttt. i dont like you're voice tho. i'm gonna check your newest track on soundclick

word your alright. you got the basics down, and you can write. your voice isnt good tho. you just sound like a normal white dude bordering on nerd. i'd just do text lol

[Dove Dozer]

Thanks uh-oh.

More reason to keep spittin.. Ill try to improve the delivery.

[Objective]

I thought it was dope. I read the lyrics along with the track, cool shit and I thought it fit well with the beat. Definately feel what people are saying about mic presence, but as people say; it's dropped in '04. Based on the song alone even tho' it's close to 10 years ago; I didn't mind that the rhymescheme was repetitive, but with better delivery and some emotion to the shit you're saying could make it seem less repetitive and ''boring''. Subject matter is done to hell, but I feel you did it great enough justice. Keep spittin'.

[Mike Wrecka]

ok heres what I heard that nobody else is pointing out. this was horribly mastered. the vocals sound horrible quality wise. the overdubs or echo effect were all off. you have to fix that man. get a more professional sound. all the negative feedback is a result of the vocals quality I can promise you that. cause otherwise it was solid. and don't do that fake accent at the end of some words. I hope u don't take my critique the wrong way just trying to be constructive. I was a music critic for a time so I can be a tad critical. but ya overall let me hear something new.

[Adonis]

Alright...I love the content/concept behind this track, although I feel like it's not quite there. I was hearing something that was off, like too many changes in cadence or diction, I couldn't figure it out. But I'm going to guess maybe the syllable counts vary wayyyyy too much to keep the proper flow. I'm not big on counting exact syllables but I would imagine yours changes often. Maybe not line by line, but with breaks in each line.

Confusing I know, but you seperate lines with comas for flow, almost like a breathe marker.

I'm willing to bet these comas (or breath markers) in every line vary quite a bit.

All in all though, as I said, the content and concept are both dope. I'm not sure if you paired the beat with flow properly, but you did your thing, and for what it is, its a good track.