dead man -- fly on the wall.

Otto Peighlaught · 06-26-2016, 05:47 PM

traumatized to see you leave but grow depressed when you stay.

corpse corridor to window-glass stains

now hang me out to dry. you can't wring out what's inside
ringing out into silence. i can't hear when you cry
tearing out my arteries one tear at a time

springtime orchestra. we watched it together
laid a blanket on the grass and felt the fall of forever

how we walk together wordlessly but talk to remember.
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I don't generally like to quote but I feel like those are glimpses of brilliance. The distance between the watcher and the characters is eerie, realistically eerie. You've brought this relationship to life with your words in a manner that is difficult to accept as the reader. It's humbling reading something that accurate. The fact that flow of thoughts/events is somewhat scatter-brained, while the whole is fluid is very impressive. Excellent stuff here, thank you.

06-26-2016, 05:47 PM	#1
Otto Peighlaught Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2016 Posts: 17 Rep Power: 3436003	traumatized to see you leave but grow depressed when you stay. corpse corridor to window-glass stains now hang me out to dry. you can't wring out what's inside ringing out into silence. i can't hear when you cry tearing out my arteries one tear at a time springtime orchestra. we watched it together laid a blanket on the grass and felt the fall of forever how we walk together wordlessly but talk to remember. ------------ I don't generally like to quote but I feel like those are glimpses of brilliance. The distance between the watcher and the characters is eerie, realistically eerie. You've brought this relationship to life with your words in a manner that is difficult to accept as the reader. It's humbling reading something that accurate. The fact that flow of thoughts/events is somewhat scatter-brained, while the whole is fluid is very impressive. Excellent stuff here, thank you.